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What I learned in Week 2 of the NFL season

 In Week 2 of the NFL season, I learned that...

- ...things have gotten so bad, there's now a group in East Rutherford, New Jersey called "New York Jets Games Matter."

- ...one sign of Armageddon is a game between New England and Seattle which doesn't go down to the final second and result in the loss of at least four nails in the process.

- ...Kirk Cousins is about as consistent as a toddler after missing their nap and currently consuming Lucky Charms in a bowl of Mountain Dew.

- ..., after one game, Justin Herbert is undoubtedly the second coming of Blaine Gilbert.

- ...the Houston Texans' offensive line is so useless, it makes a broken condom look like steel balls.

- ...we now know the answer to the question, "If a team falls in Philadelphia and no one's there to make a sound, did the booing happen?" Yes.

- ...the Detroit Lions are the Detroit Tigers of the Detroit Red Wings.

- ..., after their playing and coaching careers are done, Matt Ryan and Dan Quinn will inevitably co-author the book, "Twice Blown."

- ..., if DeShaun Watson's season to this point were a movie, it'd be titled, "Dead Man Scrambling."

- ...Brett Favre has been called onto recruit Tom Brady to his nursing home.

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