Skip to main content

What I learned in Week 2 of the NFL season

 In Week 2 of the NFL season, I learned that...

- ...things have gotten so bad, there's now a group in East Rutherford, New Jersey called "New York Jets Games Matter."

- ...one sign of Armageddon is a game between New England and Seattle which doesn't go down to the final second and result in the loss of at least four nails in the process.

- ...Kirk Cousins is about as consistent as a toddler after missing their nap and currently consuming Lucky Charms in a bowl of Mountain Dew.

- ..., after one game, Justin Herbert is undoubtedly the second coming of Blaine Gilbert.

- ...the Houston Texans' offensive line is so useless, it makes a broken condom look like steel balls.

- ...we now know the answer to the question, "If a team falls in Philadelphia and no one's there to make a sound, did the booing happen?" Yes.

- ...the Detroit Lions are the Detroit Tigers of the Detroit Red Wings.

- ..., after their playing and coaching careers are done, Matt Ryan and Dan Quinn will inevitably co-author the book, "Twice Blown."

- ..., if DeShaun Watson's season to this point were a movie, it'd be titled, "Dead Man Scrambling."

- ...Brett Favre has been called onto recruit Tom Brady to his nursing home.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun
2 comments
Read more

The difference between "looking" and "checking out"

I may be way off with these numbers, but it's my approximation that at least 75% of individuals whom are involved in a serious relationship feel it's perfectly acceptable to "check out" members of the opposite sex they're not involved with. Meanwhile, approximately 25% either don't feel this is acceptable or aren't sure about the matter. I hadn't thought about this matter for a while, but since I've been dating a woman for about 8 months, the topic has been pondered about some. When reading or hearing others discuss this very issue, I often times hear comments similar to the following: "It's human nature to look." "There's nothing wrong with checking others out. I'm sure he/she does it too!" "It's fine to do it. Just don't tell your boyfriend/girlfriend about it or do it in front of them!" "It's natural to find people attractive." When observing the array of comments, I i
Post a Comment
Read more

The verdict is in. To no one's surprise, Jonathan Hoenig has been found guilty of being an idiot.

Just recently, when discussing the Michael Brown shooting and whether or not race had anything to do with it, Fox News contributor Jonathan Hoenig said, "You know who talks about race? Racists." One moment while I provide Mr. Hoenig with the well deserved slow-clap. :: slow-claps for two seconds :: So, that was quite the line by Mr. Hoenig, wasn't it? "You know who talks about race? Racists." Well, wasn't he just talking about race? So, by his own words, I guess that makes him a racist. Also, if he wants to be consistent, does this mean that people whom talk about gender are sexists and people whom talk about sexual orientation are homophobes? With that line of thinking, Hoenig would engage in the following back-and-forths: Hoenig: "So, who are you voting for?" A woman: "The Democratic candidate, because he's been adamant about his support for equal rights for women." Hoenig: "You sexist feminist nazi!"
Post a Comment
Read more