Yeah, that's right. As of tomorrow night, when I venture to a Halloween Party at a pub I frequent, I think it will be safe to say that upon my passing, I will be going to hell. Why is this you didn't ask? Well, because I will be going as Jesus and not just any Jesus. No, while yes, with my costume came all the regulars: Robe/tunic, hair, beard and crown of thorns, I've decided to take things a little further. I will be entering wearing sunglasses, a lei around my neck, a sign on either my front or back (haven't decided yet...depending on if the beard and lei interfere with people reading the sign from the front) reading "I Saved Your A$$," while carrying a bag of leis with a note on it that reads "Who wants to lei Jesus? That will be $5." I've also concocted a top ten list I will bring along - The Top Ten Jesus Pick-up Lines and I plan on using a few of those throughout the course of the evening. Finally, I will be bringing with me a recipe for a drink called Jesus Juice and will have to consume one of those. I wanted to wear some bling, but don't think that will be possible given the beard and lei interfering with it. Oh, and of course, I will be wearing sandals.
Yeah, I may receive a few looks in conjunction with the shaking of the head. I may get condemned by at least one person. For the most part, though, I think the ensemble will stimulate laughs to go along with a hell of a lot of pictures! I do hope I don't offend anyone too much. That's not my intent. Being an agnostic and all, I guess I'm not all too sensitive to this sort of thing, find it to be in the name of fun (if the story is true, it is believed that God had/has a sense of humor) and come on, it's a Pagan holiday anyway. I'd think that die-hard Christians wouldn't be at a bar on a Friday night celebrating Halloween. ...and in the grand scheme of things, I honestly don't think the outfit is THAT bad. Die-hard believers seem to believe that Jesus was perfect as they see it. This means he never used any questionable language, never engaged in intercourse, never played violent video games or listened to rap or heavy metal music and didn't believe that "Brokeback Mountain" was a good movie. The word "ass" was used in The Bible. Sure, it was used to refer to a donkey, but it's not like the word, but "ass" wasn't always seen as vulgar and I don't see any commandment stating, "If thou utters the word ass, you shall spend eternity in a burning fire pit known as hell!" Naw, that's not in there. What about Mary Magdalene? Were she and Jesus not doing the horizontal mambo? JC was supposedly 33 when he died. What, was Steve Carrel's character in "The 40-Year Old Virgin" based off the story of Jesus, only in a slightly more exaggerated manner? So, the sexual innuendo with regard to the "leis," the word "ass" and even the top ten list of pick-up lines don't appear to me to be THAT sinful. Also, the Jesus Juice...so what? Christians take shots of wine all the time in the name of Jesus. Why not combine vodka, Southern Comfort, Amaretto, Sprite and Grape Welch's juice instead? Alright, so if there exists such a place, perhaps tomorrow night won't ultimately determine my after-life fate, but I know there will be some whom believe that. Oh well, they shouldn't be out after dark on Halloween anyway, especially at a bar.
Yeah, I may receive a few looks in conjunction with the shaking of the head. I may get condemned by at least one person. For the most part, though, I think the ensemble will stimulate laughs to go along with a hell of a lot of pictures! I do hope I don't offend anyone too much. That's not my intent. Being an agnostic and all, I guess I'm not all too sensitive to this sort of thing, find it to be in the name of fun (if the story is true, it is believed that God had/has a sense of humor) and come on, it's a Pagan holiday anyway. I'd think that die-hard Christians wouldn't be at a bar on a Friday night celebrating Halloween. ...and in the grand scheme of things, I honestly don't think the outfit is THAT bad. Die-hard believers seem to believe that Jesus was perfect as they see it. This means he never used any questionable language, never engaged in intercourse, never played violent video games or listened to rap or heavy metal music and didn't believe that "Brokeback Mountain" was a good movie. The word "ass" was used in The Bible. Sure, it was used to refer to a donkey, but it's not like the word, but "ass" wasn't always seen as vulgar and I don't see any commandment stating, "If thou utters the word ass, you shall spend eternity in a burning fire pit known as hell!" Naw, that's not in there. What about Mary Magdalene? Were she and Jesus not doing the horizontal mambo? JC was supposedly 33 when he died. What, was Steve Carrel's character in "The 40-Year Old Virgin" based off the story of Jesus, only in a slightly more exaggerated manner? So, the sexual innuendo with regard to the "leis," the word "ass" and even the top ten list of pick-up lines don't appear to me to be THAT sinful. Also, the Jesus Juice...so what? Christians take shots of wine all the time in the name of Jesus. Why not combine vodka, Southern Comfort, Amaretto, Sprite and Grape Welch's juice instead? Alright, so if there exists such a place, perhaps tomorrow night won't ultimately determine my after-life fate, but I know there will be some whom believe that. Oh well, they shouldn't be out after dark on Halloween anyway, especially at a bar.
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