Often times, movie titles make sense. There lacks ambiguity, where a person unfamiliar with the general storyline could garner a good sense of the film's essence just by seeing its title. "Forrest Gump" is a good example, as the central focus of the film is a character by the name of Forrest Gump. "While You Were Sleeping" is slowly edging toward the gray area known as ambiguity, but we can still garner a decent sense of what the film's storyline is by reading the title - it has to deal with what transpires while a certain individual is sleeping. Who "you" is we can't be certain of at this juncture. "As Good As It Gets" delves even deeper into the gray known as ambiguity, as we can't really understand the central focus of the film by reading its title. "As Good As It Gets"? As good as what gets? Life? Love? Sex? A political spat between drunks at a bar? It's difficult to say by just looking at the title of this particular film. However, it's difficult to get too creative by attempting to have fun with the potential ambiguities of this film title. There are some films which too reside in the before-mentioned gray area and within their titles live some potentially humorous ambiguities. I'm going to list these very movie titles and see what I come up with. Keep in mind while reading these, pretend that both you and I are ignorant of everything pertaining to these films - the actors, directors, storylines, plots, etc. I'm going to pretend I haven't seen any of these films and based on the titles alone, will attempt to guess what they're about.
Dead Man Walking - This is a film about Jesus and the days following his resurrection. Chances are this film won't be suitable for children, as it will draw them a misleading image about life and death, for it's highly unlikely that after they die, they will rise from the dead three days later. Also, zombie films are typically not the greatest viewing material for children and that will especially be the case for this film, as Jesus plays the lead zombie.
Big - This is quite obviously a porno. I guess size does matter.
The French Connection - This is a romance film that contains at its climax a connection between the two lead characters which involves their lips locking with one another's before their tongues get involved in the act. There was rumor about a film called "The Polish Connection" that involved two Polish individuals pinching each other while standing underneath a mistletoe on the 4th of July, but unfortunately, that romance was never released.
It Happened One Night - This has to be one of the greatest mysteries known to man. "It Happened One Night"? It's reminiscent of those times you bump into somebody who remembers you very well, but whom you can't remember ever meeting before. They'll then go into detail about when and where you met, who you were with and what you wore. I then typically respond with something along the lines of, "Oh yeah, I remember that. We were at that one place that one night. You were with that one person and we talked about some stuff. Yeah, of course I remember. How's it going...you?" I have a hunch this film tells the story of the before-mentioned scenario and all throughout the film, we take on the perspective of the person whom doesn't remember the other and try to figure out who the other is and when and where they met (if they even did). I'll be curious to see if we ever discover who the other person is or if this film leaves us wondering. One thing I am pretty certain about is that Bill Clinton will be the main character, continually asking the question, "What is 'it'?"
In & Out - I'm not sure how in the world this film was released in theaters. It's obviously a how-to movie regarding sex. I'm picturing it playing like a workout video. I can hear the instructor saying the following:
"In and out. In and out. In and out. That's terrific. In and out. In and out. Five more times. You're doing great. No, don't stop now! You can do better than 24 seconds! Keep on pushing! In and out. In and out. Remember, this is a 2-hour movie. You better keep up and keep it up. If you need Viagra, that's just fine. Don't be ashamed. If that's the case, you can watch this movie two times, but only two times. If you watch it more than that and you're still keeping it up, please call a doctor. Okay, again. In and out. In and out. In and out."
My Cousin Vinny - I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure this is a love story involving a woman in the south and her cousin Vinny. This takes the "family-friendly" concept to a whole 'nother level, I'm afraid.
Romancing the Stone - This is an extremely strange movie. I'm thinking it was written by some uber-conservative Republican politicians and Christian fundamentalists, in trying to provide fictional evidence of the informal fallacy known as the slippery slope with regard to homosexuality and in particular, gay marriage. Some have said that gay marriage will lead to the marrying of multiple individuals at one time, marrying dogs, cows, horses, rainbows and as this film suggests, stones. Ironically enough, I have a feeling viewers will have to be stoned in order to get anything from this film. I can just hear these very individuals after the film, saying something along the lines of, "Dude! I so want to do a stone now!"
Children of Men - This film is probably a hybrid of the drama and science fiction genres. It tells a story about the scientific breakthrough of men being able to give birth to children. Some of the people I hope to see in this film, impregnated, are: Sylvester Stallone, Danny DeVito, Rush Limbaugh, Ozzy Osbourne, David Caruso and Justin Bieber.
The Crying Game - This movie is probably about women trying to manipulate men through the art of crying. A group of women, part of a Bible study group, compete against one another in a contest they started. Whoever is able to receive the most from their husbands in a two-week span due to their crying will be rewarded a free lap dance from a stripper by the name of Judas.
The Man Who Knew Too Little - Here's a movie that really hits home for me. I was never contacted about this film, but I'm almost positive it's a story about a guy by the name of Craig Rozniecki and his ignorance of women. Although, I suppose it could be about almost every other heterosexual male and their ignorance of the opposite sex. If there's another film with a similar theme, entitled "The Man Who Knew Too Much," which tells the story of a man who knows women too well, the central character would obviously be gay.
Dead Man Walking - This is a film about Jesus and the days following his resurrection. Chances are this film won't be suitable for children, as it will draw them a misleading image about life and death, for it's highly unlikely that after they die, they will rise from the dead three days later. Also, zombie films are typically not the greatest viewing material for children and that will especially be the case for this film, as Jesus plays the lead zombie.
Big - This is quite obviously a porno. I guess size does matter.
The French Connection - This is a romance film that contains at its climax a connection between the two lead characters which involves their lips locking with one another's before their tongues get involved in the act. There was rumor about a film called "The Polish Connection" that involved two Polish individuals pinching each other while standing underneath a mistletoe on the 4th of July, but unfortunately, that romance was never released.
It Happened One Night - This has to be one of the greatest mysteries known to man. "It Happened One Night"? It's reminiscent of those times you bump into somebody who remembers you very well, but whom you can't remember ever meeting before. They'll then go into detail about when and where you met, who you were with and what you wore. I then typically respond with something along the lines of, "Oh yeah, I remember that. We were at that one place that one night. You were with that one person and we talked about some stuff. Yeah, of course I remember. How's it going...you?" I have a hunch this film tells the story of the before-mentioned scenario and all throughout the film, we take on the perspective of the person whom doesn't remember the other and try to figure out who the other is and when and where they met (if they even did). I'll be curious to see if we ever discover who the other person is or if this film leaves us wondering. One thing I am pretty certain about is that Bill Clinton will be the main character, continually asking the question, "What is 'it'?"
In & Out - I'm not sure how in the world this film was released in theaters. It's obviously a how-to movie regarding sex. I'm picturing it playing like a workout video. I can hear the instructor saying the following:
"In and out. In and out. In and out. That's terrific. In and out. In and out. Five more times. You're doing great. No, don't stop now! You can do better than 24 seconds! Keep on pushing! In and out. In and out. Remember, this is a 2-hour movie. You better keep up and keep it up. If you need Viagra, that's just fine. Don't be ashamed. If that's the case, you can watch this movie two times, but only two times. If you watch it more than that and you're still keeping it up, please call a doctor. Okay, again. In and out. In and out. In and out."
My Cousin Vinny - I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure this is a love story involving a woman in the south and her cousin Vinny. This takes the "family-friendly" concept to a whole 'nother level, I'm afraid.
Romancing the Stone - This is an extremely strange movie. I'm thinking it was written by some uber-conservative Republican politicians and Christian fundamentalists, in trying to provide fictional evidence of the informal fallacy known as the slippery slope with regard to homosexuality and in particular, gay marriage. Some have said that gay marriage will lead to the marrying of multiple individuals at one time, marrying dogs, cows, horses, rainbows and as this film suggests, stones. Ironically enough, I have a feeling viewers will have to be stoned in order to get anything from this film. I can just hear these very individuals after the film, saying something along the lines of, "Dude! I so want to do a stone now!"
Children of Men - This film is probably a hybrid of the drama and science fiction genres. It tells a story about the scientific breakthrough of men being able to give birth to children. Some of the people I hope to see in this film, impregnated, are: Sylvester Stallone, Danny DeVito, Rush Limbaugh, Ozzy Osbourne, David Caruso and Justin Bieber.
The Crying Game - This movie is probably about women trying to manipulate men through the art of crying. A group of women, part of a Bible study group, compete against one another in a contest they started. Whoever is able to receive the most from their husbands in a two-week span due to their crying will be rewarded a free lap dance from a stripper by the name of Judas.
The Man Who Knew Too Little - Here's a movie that really hits home for me. I was never contacted about this film, but I'm almost positive it's a story about a guy by the name of Craig Rozniecki and his ignorance of women. Although, I suppose it could be about almost every other heterosexual male and their ignorance of the opposite sex. If there's another film with a similar theme, entitled "The Man Who Knew Too Much," which tells the story of a man who knows women too well, the central character would obviously be gay.
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