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Birthday #36

Is it just me, or does it seem like, after a certain point, birthdays become progressively more depressing? On our 16th birthday, we can celebrate getting a driver's license. On our 18th birthday, we can celebrate being able to vote (and smoke, I suppose). On our 21st birthday, we can celebrate being able to drink alcohol (well, legally). After that, there aren't too many birthdays where we can say, "We're now even more of a legal adult today!" When I hit 30, I thought to myself, "Where in the world did my 20s go?" Not much changed when I turned 31, 32, and 33, respectively. When I turned 34, however, I was officially in my mid-30s, and due to that, started feeling like I couldn't pass for being in college anymore (even though I do still occasionally get carded). My 35th birthday was significant, in that it was the midpoint between 30 and 40, the age which many label as being "over the hill." Now that I turned 36 just yesterday, I'm in the final year of my mid-30s. Next year will be the start of my late-30s and 40 will be just around the corner. Sadly, the older I get, the quicker years seem to pass me by. I remember when my buddies and I used to think it was taking "forever" to turn 16 and 21. Now we're thinking, "Whoa! Slow down there, years!"

There are times I wish I could celebrate birthdays like a kid again: To go to Family Fun Center, play spaceball and arcade games, open numerous gifts, blow out candles on a cake, and chow down on cake and ice cream. Year in and year out, it truly was a party. Nowadays, though, birthdays just feel like another day on the calendar, where we say, "Well, that's one more year in the books." As a friend of mine recently told me, however, "Hey, it's better to celebrate being alive another year than the reverse, right?!?" Touché!

For as grateful as I am to have lived through another year, however, it's difficult to not reflect on my birthday, both good and bad, to see where I currently stand in life, what I've accomplished, what I've failed to accomplish and see little hope for, and what I've yet to accomplish but about which I'm still at least somewhat optimistic. Unfortunately, I find it easier to dwell on my failures than feel pride in my accomplishments, as I progressively wonder more how many more years I have left to accomplish these goals and dreams, especially given my numerous health problems of the past.

Birthdays are a fascinating phenomenon in how they can bring about such polar opposite emotions in people. Instead of continuing to see it as a day closer to death, however, I'm going to try and take on a new attitude regarding birthdays from this point forward, and simply see it as yet another celebration of life, for what purpose is there to dwell on the unknown when we can celebrate the known? Here's to another year of living! Cheers!

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