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"Fewer Schools, More Smarter People"

President Donald Trump and other Republican leaders have faced a great deal of backlash in recent days over their new education reform proposal, entitled, "Fewer Schools, More Smarter People." This controversial bill is the GOP's first attempt at repealing former President Obama's "Education Is Good" law, which provided public education to at least 20 million more children. The nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office (CBO), however, is reporting that the GOP's bill, if fully implemented, would likely result in 24 million kids going without public education - special needs children being the most seriously impacted. "Fewer Schools, More Smarter People" is now polling at just 17% approval, eight points lower than Fifty Shades of Grey (courtesy of Rotten Tomatoes - 25%), which one critic described as: "There is a very good chance that I will see nothing worse all year. I'm pretty sure I will see nothing more brain-witheringly stupid and boring -- or less sexy." Here now is the full transcript from President Trump, House Speaker Ryan, and Senate Majority Leader McConnell's press conference:

Trump: "I first wanna say I believe the children are our future. We need to teach them well and let them lead the way. Not only that, we have to show them all the bigly beauty they possess inside. So, yes, under our plan, every child will get an education!"

Ryan: "That was beautiful, Mr. President. Did you write that yourself?"

Trump: "Big league!"

Ryan: "As the president said, every child will get an education with our new bill. The 24 million who won't probably wouldn't vote for us anyway."

McConnell: "Look, Paul, if you get 'Fewer Schools, More Smarter People' through the House, I promise I will get it through the Senate. We repeatedly promised the people we'd repeal and replace 'Education Is Good,' so we need to, for the first time in probably 8 years, follow through with something."

Ryan: "Can I get this bill through the House? Can Dick Cheney shoot a friend in the face while playing the real life version of Angry Birds?"

McConnell: "So, yes?"

Ryan: "Can Clarence Thomas make a mime sound chatty?"

McConnell: "Perhaps..."

Ryan: "Can I pull off the Eddie Munster-Screech Powers look?"

McConnell: "Just give me a fricking answer!!!"

Ryan: "Okay, then yes."

Trump: "Let me close with this. I'm all about doing what the people want and representing all the people. Last I heard, 'Fewer Schools, More Smarter People' is polling at 17% and would take away education from 24 million kids. There are over 9 trillion kids in this country, so 24 million is only like half a percent or something. Also, 17%, if you reverse the numbers, it becomes 71%, and then if you add the original number, it's 88%, and then if you round up, it's 90%, and then if you round up again, it's 100%. It's as simple as that. This is a no-brainer, folks, it really is. If you want people to read more gooder, you have to take away their books. If you want people to be richer, you have to take away their jobs. If you want people to become more smarter, you have to give them less education things. So I ask everyone to support 'Fewer Schools, More Smarter People,' because we don't need no education; the educated are stupid!"

https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/fifty_shades_of_grey/reviews/?page=3&sort=

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/whitneyhouston/greatestloveofall.html

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