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GOP surprised giving the keys to a 6-year-old resulted in an accident

Republican leaders held a press conference today, where they told members of the media and the American people how surprised they were that, after giving a 6-year-old keys to a Mercedes, he got into an accident. Approximately 30 minutes ago, it was reported that 6-year-old Tommy Airbag got into an accident not 10 seconds after Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell and House Speaker Paul Ryan gave him the keys to a brand new Mercedes. After Ryan started the car for Tommy, Steve Bannon told the youngster what to do, and Mr. Airbag then proceeded to crash, almost in slow-motion, into a garbage truck, as junk then spilled from the backend of the vehicle. While Tommy wasn't seriously injured, Bannon, McConnell, and Ryan fled from the scene, only to confront the matter after one of the garbagemen recorded them running.

McConnell: "This all came as a shock to us. I mean, what was it he Tommy kept saying?"

Ryan: "He kept saying, 'I got this. I can drive, believe me.'"

McConnell: "Yeah, right, so I mean, who were we to say otherwise?"

Ryan: "You're absolutely right. I mean, who would you rather want to drive your brand new Mercedes? A young kid who's probably never driven but says he can or someone of legal age to drive with lots of experience? To me, it's a no-brainer. You go with the kid."

McConnell: "Exactly. This is how you make roads safe again, people."

Sadly, according to the latest Gallup poll, 37% of Americans agree with the half-man/half-turtle.
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