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GOP House passes the ASCA (American Steal Cars Act)

In a result which was predicted by experts, on its third attempt to do so, the GOP-led House passed the ASCA (American Steal Cars Act) with 217 votes. While the CBO (Congressional Budget Office) has yet to release their analysis of the bill, their analysis of the previous proposal claimed that, if passed, the bill would result in the following:

- 20 million Americans losing their cars

- Those who have ever been involved in a car accident may not be able to purchase a car in some states

- Owners of automobiles who happen to be women won't be allowed an airbag in their cars

- Car prices will increase for the bottom 5%

- Free cars will be given to the top 2%

Just prior to the vote, House Speaker Paul Ryan had this to say about the measure:

"The way of buying automobiles of the past isn't working. People are going bankrupt with all their car expenses. Some are even dying as the result of accidents. We can no longer have the status quo. In some states, Iowa for instance, people are down to one car from which to choose. We need to celebrate our freedom and independence! We need more choices! That choice needs to be taking away that freedom and independence from 20 million Americans! Whether they were in a car accident when they were 2-years-old and struck by a drunk driver or rear-ended by someone who was swiping on Tinder while driving a semi, they all need to be held accountable for things that were no fault of their own! That right there is family values! That's pro-life! That's the American way!"

In response to the passage of the ASCA, rumor has it at least 20 million Americans are going to form a line heading toward this nation's Capitol, with the intent of reenacting a similar scene from Airplane.

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