Skip to main content

#ThingsJesusNeverSaid

I had some fun with the trending hashtag #ThingsJesusNeverSaid on Twitter the other day. Here are my posts, ordered from the most to the least popular (all my tweets can be read here - https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki):

1) "Adultery is only cool if your name rhymes with 'Ronald Chump'."
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid
4,615 Likes, 2,570 Retweets

2) "Thou shalt take care of kids until they're born. At that point, who gives a sh*t?!? Can I hear an amen?"
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid
1,217 Likes, 507 Retweets

3) "If you're white, you're always right! It also helps to be straight, male, & rich, but love & treat everyone equally."
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid
872 Likes, 362 Retweets

4) "As a Jewish man not from your country, rest assured, American Christians are my father's chosen people."
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid
103 Likes, 33 Retweets

5) "While the world is my father's proudest creation, nothing would make him happier than to see oil tycoons destroy it."
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid
95 Likes, 37 Retweets

6) "Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself, unless thy neighbor is a gay Muslim refugee."
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid
90 Likes, 38 Retweets

7) "Adultery is only cool if your name rhymes with 'Ronald Chump'."
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid
92 Likes, 16 Retweets

8) "Show pride in being deplorable."
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid
75 Likes, 25 Retweets

9) "Twice a year, I'd like for people to remember me through a bearded man dressed in red and a bunny."
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid
76 Likes, 23 Retweets

10) "Say you believe in and want to be like me, ask what I would do in all situations, and then do the opposite."
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid
67 Likes, 20 Retweets

11) "If I had one wish, it'd be for all to celebrate my birthday on a day I wasn't born and then commercialize it."
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid
56 likes, 14 Retweets

12) "If thou takes care of the rich, the poor will be thou bit*h."
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid
49 Likes, 13 Retweets

13) "Judge not, unless the day ends in '-y'."
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid
40 Likes, 10 Retweets

14) "If someone slaps you, turn to them the other cheek, before turning around and busting out an AK-47."
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid
36 Likes, 9 Retweets

15) "It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve, big league!"
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid
36 Likes, 7 Retweets

16) "If thou wears a suit and tie, this man in a robe and sandals will be bigly impressed."
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid
22 Likes, 7 Retweets

16) "Let one without sin cast the first stone, unless your​ last name is Graham, Robertson, Huckabee, or Dobson."
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid
25 Likes, 4 Retweets

Totals: 7,564 Likes, 3,695 Retweets (Averages of  444.9 Likes, 217.4 Retweets)
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun
2 comments
Read more

The difference between "looking" and "checking out"

I may be way off with these numbers, but it's my approximation that at least 75% of individuals whom are involved in a serious relationship feel it's perfectly acceptable to "check out" members of the opposite sex they're not involved with. Meanwhile, approximately 25% either don't feel this is acceptable or aren't sure about the matter. I hadn't thought about this matter for a while, but since I've been dating a woman for about 8 months, the topic has been pondered about some. When reading or hearing others discuss this very issue, I often times hear comments similar to the following: "It's human nature to look." "There's nothing wrong with checking others out. I'm sure he/she does it too!" "It's fine to do it. Just don't tell your boyfriend/girlfriend about it or do it in front of them!" "It's natural to find people attractive." When observing the array of comments, I i
Post a Comment
Read more

The verdict is in. To no one's surprise, Jonathan Hoenig has been found guilty of being an idiot.

Just recently, when discussing the Michael Brown shooting and whether or not race had anything to do with it, Fox News contributor Jonathan Hoenig said, "You know who talks about race? Racists." One moment while I provide Mr. Hoenig with the well deserved slow-clap. :: slow-claps for two seconds :: So, that was quite the line by Mr. Hoenig, wasn't it? "You know who talks about race? Racists." Well, wasn't he just talking about race? So, by his own words, I guess that makes him a racist. Also, if he wants to be consistent, does this mean that people whom talk about gender are sexists and people whom talk about sexual orientation are homophobes? With that line of thinking, Hoenig would engage in the following back-and-forths: Hoenig: "So, who are you voting for?" A woman: "The Democratic candidate, because he's been adamant about his support for equal rights for women." Hoenig: "You sexist feminist nazi!"
Post a Comment
Read more