In a surprise move, Speaker of the House Paul Ryan, while alongside his wife Janna, signed a prenuptial agreement without reading it yesterday. When asked why he did this, the Republican Congressman said:
"Look, no matter what's in here, it's going to make my wife and my's marriage stronger. It's going to make our love grander, our trust greater, our sex annual. It's of no relevance that my Janna apparently wrote this with her guy on the side, Enrique; it's going to be what places the trials and tribulations of our past chapters behind us, and help us move toward a brighter chapter in our book of love. I've never been prouder to have signed something I didn't read than I am right now. It's not the first time, and it won't be the last time. You can be sure of that. It's like my dad always told me, 'You read, you learn, you write. You don't read, you don't learn, you right.' How right he was..."
Janna, meanwhile, has just reported that she's gone away with Enrique, is filing for divorce with Paul, and will be kicking him out of her house in the next week. Insiders believe, due to these events, Paul will attempt to pitch a tent at the P90X workout studio. Unfortunately for him, the studio filed a restraining order against him 6 years ago.
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