Skip to main content

Paul Ryan signs prenup without reading it

In a surprise move, Speaker of the House Paul Ryan, while alongside his wife Janna, signed a prenuptial agreement without reading it yesterday. When asked why he did this, the Republican Congressman said:

"Look, no matter what's in here, it's going to make my wife and my's marriage stronger. It's going to make our love grander, our trust greater, our sex annual. It's of no relevance that my Janna apparently wrote this with her guy on the side, Enrique; it's going to be what places the trials and tribulations of our past chapters behind us, and help us move toward a brighter chapter in our book of love. I've never been prouder to have signed something I didn't read than I am right now. It's not the first time, and it won't be the last time. You can be sure of that. It's like my dad always told me, 'You read, you learn, you write. You don't read, you don't learn, you right.' How right he was..."

Janna, meanwhile, has just reported that she's gone away with Enrique, is filing for divorce with Paul, and will be kicking him out of her house in the next week. Insiders believe, due to these events, Paul will attempt to pitch a tent at the P90X workout studio. Unfortunately for him, the studio filed a restraining order against him 6 years ago.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun...
2 comments
Read more

The difference between "looking" and "checking out"

I may be way off with these numbers, but it's my approximation that at least 75% of individuals whom are involved in a serious relationship feel it's perfectly acceptable to "check out" members of the opposite sex they're not involved with. Meanwhile, approximately 25% either don't feel this is acceptable or aren't sure about the matter. I hadn't thought about this matter for a while, but since I've been dating a woman for about 8 months, the topic has been pondered about some. When reading or hearing others discuss this very issue, I often times hear comments similar to the following: "It's human nature to look." "There's nothing wrong with checking others out. I'm sure he/she does it too!" "It's fine to do it. Just don't tell your boyfriend/girlfriend about it or do it in front of them!" "It's natural to find people attractive." When observing the array of comments, I i...
Post a Comment
Read more