I had some fun with the trending hashtag #TrumpBackToSchoolTips on Twitter the other week. Here are my posts, ordered from the most popular to the least popular (you can view all my tweets here: https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki):
1) "When a big bully picks on a smaller disabled kid, just walk away, because both sides are obviously to blame."
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
3,377 Likes, 916 Retweets
2) "When they say the word at the spelling bee, which will happen, believe me, it's spelled c-o-v-f-e-f-e."
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
505 Likes, 114 Retweets
3) "When all else fails, tell your teacher a bigly bald eagle ate your homework."
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
211 Likes, 52 Retweets
4) "If you receive fewer votes than the winner of something, you may have won. Don't ever forget that."
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
197 Likes, 44 Retweets
5) "When you don't wanna do something in gym class, just blame the bone spurs."
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
75 Likes, 28 Retweets
6) "Remember, even if you fail bigly at school, you'll always be accepted and welcomed at Trump University."
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
46 Likes, 16 Retweets
7) "It's not just i-before-e-except-after-c; it's I-before-u, I-before-all-of-u!"
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
40 Likes, 12 Retweets
8) "Math classes? Science? English? Critical Thinking? FAKE NEWS!!!"
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
35 Likes, 13 Retweets
9) "Here's all you need to know about the scientific method: Believe something & when disproven, believe it anyway."
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
32 Likes, 14 Retweets
10) "When schools send transfers, they're sending note-stealers, tattle-tales, vegans & some, I assume, are good people."
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
30 Likes, 15 Retweets
10) "No matter what they tell you, the school's taco bowls are nothing compared to the ones at Trump Tower. Google it!"
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
37 Likes, 8 Retweets
12) "If you feel like you need to cheat on an exam, I've got two words for you: Russia." #TrumpBackToSchoolTips
28 Likes, 10 Retweets
13) "Plagiarism is okay, so long as it's off one of the Obamas. It's in the Bible - Two Corinthians."
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
32 Likes, 4 Retweets
14) "Anyone named Mueller, beat the crap out of him! I'll pay your legal fees, that I can promise you!"
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
25 Likes, 8 Retweets
15) "The periodic table is rigged, folks. If rigging were in the Olympics, this table thing would get the Au medal."
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
23 Likes, 9 Retweets
16) "If you think you can or think you can't, you probably can't, unless you have a rich father. Just sayin'."
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
22 Likes, 8 Retweets
17) "When you fail to uphold your responsibilities, blame Obama."
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
23 Likes, 4 Retweets
17) "The mainstream textbooks are all about fake news! If you want real news, read Laffy Taffy wrappers!"
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
24 Likes, 3 Retweets
19) "When writing a paper, always use 72 bold font. Big font equals big hands, believe me, I know."
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
23 Likes, 2 Retweets
20) "If you wanna impress all the cute girls at the dance, just do a little bit of this..."
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
16 Likes, 8 Retweets
20) "Even if you ace Chemistry, you'll be worse at chemistry than me and all my wives and mistresses, I guarantee it."
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
20 Likes, 4 Retweets
22) "Remember, kids, if you want a longer recess, just follow in my footsteps or join Congress."
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
18 Likes, 5 Retweets
23) "I don't have a racist bone in my body, but always copy off the Asian kid. Remember, not racist, so not racist."
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
19 Likes, 2 Retweets
23) "I know more about teaching than teachers do, believe me!"
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
19 Likes, 2 Retweets
25) "When you're in a locker room, it's perfectly acceptable to say you wanna grab someone by the p*ssy."
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
15 Likes, 1 Retweet
26) "It's like philosopher Conway once said, 'Your made-up alternative facts are just as factual as real facts.' Period!"
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
12 Likes, 3 Retweets
26) "If your class song is 'Breaking the Law,' I promise to show up at your graduation."
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
12 Likes, 3 Retweets
28) "Don't read, tweet!"
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
12 Likes, 1 Retweet
29) "A dog isn't a man's best friend. In English class, your best friend is CliffsNotes."
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
12 Likes, 0 Retweets
30) "If you want to be a teacher's pet, just keep telling them they're fired. They love that, big league!"
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
8 Likes, 3 Retweets
31) "If everyone in chorus lip syncs and tons of people are around, did they make a sound? Deep thoughts, kids. so deep."
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
8 Likes, 2 Retweets
32) "Like that Descartes dude said, 'I think, therefore I'm a nerd, don't have any friends, & don't get any poontang.'"
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
7 Likes, 2 Retweets
32) "If 1 in 3 classmates like you, you're probably the most popular student in history! Fact!"
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
9 Likes, 0 Retweets
Totals: 4,972 Likes, 1,316 Retweets (Averages of 150.7 Likes, 39.9 Retweets)
1) "When a big bully picks on a smaller disabled kid, just walk away, because both sides are obviously to blame."
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
3,377 Likes, 916 Retweets
2) "When they say the word at the spelling bee, which will happen, believe me, it's spelled c-o-v-f-e-f-e."
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
505 Likes, 114 Retweets
3) "When all else fails, tell your teacher a bigly bald eagle ate your homework."
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
211 Likes, 52 Retweets
4) "If you receive fewer votes than the winner of something, you may have won. Don't ever forget that."
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
197 Likes, 44 Retweets
5) "When you don't wanna do something in gym class, just blame the bone spurs."
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
75 Likes, 28 Retweets
6) "Remember, even if you fail bigly at school, you'll always be accepted and welcomed at Trump University."
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
46 Likes, 16 Retweets
7) "It's not just i-before-e-except-after-c; it's I-before-u, I-before-all-of-u!"
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
40 Likes, 12 Retweets
8) "Math classes? Science? English? Critical Thinking? FAKE NEWS!!!"
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
35 Likes, 13 Retweets
9) "Here's all you need to know about the scientific method: Believe something & when disproven, believe it anyway."
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
32 Likes, 14 Retweets
10) "When schools send transfers, they're sending note-stealers, tattle-tales, vegans & some, I assume, are good people."
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
30 Likes, 15 Retweets
10) "No matter what they tell you, the school's taco bowls are nothing compared to the ones at Trump Tower. Google it!"
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
37 Likes, 8 Retweets
12) "If you feel like you need to cheat on an exam, I've got two words for you: Russia." #TrumpBackToSchoolTips
28 Likes, 10 Retweets
13) "Plagiarism is okay, so long as it's off one of the Obamas. It's in the Bible - Two Corinthians."
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
32 Likes, 4 Retweets
14) "Anyone named Mueller, beat the crap out of him! I'll pay your legal fees, that I can promise you!"
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
25 Likes, 8 Retweets
15) "The periodic table is rigged, folks. If rigging were in the Olympics, this table thing would get the Au medal."
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
23 Likes, 9 Retweets
16) "If you think you can or think you can't, you probably can't, unless you have a rich father. Just sayin'."
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
22 Likes, 8 Retweets
17) "When you fail to uphold your responsibilities, blame Obama."
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
23 Likes, 4 Retweets
17) "The mainstream textbooks are all about fake news! If you want real news, read Laffy Taffy wrappers!"
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
24 Likes, 3 Retweets
19) "When writing a paper, always use 72 bold font. Big font equals big hands, believe me, I know."
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
23 Likes, 2 Retweets
20) "If you wanna impress all the cute girls at the dance, just do a little bit of this..."
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
16 Likes, 8 Retweets
20) "Even if you ace Chemistry, you'll be worse at chemistry than me and all my wives and mistresses, I guarantee it."
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
20 Likes, 4 Retweets
22) "Remember, kids, if you want a longer recess, just follow in my footsteps or join Congress."
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
18 Likes, 5 Retweets
23) "I don't have a racist bone in my body, but always copy off the Asian kid. Remember, not racist, so not racist."
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
19 Likes, 2 Retweets
23) "I know more about teaching than teachers do, believe me!"
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
19 Likes, 2 Retweets
25) "When you're in a locker room, it's perfectly acceptable to say you wanna grab someone by the p*ssy."
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
15 Likes, 1 Retweet
26) "It's like philosopher Conway once said, 'Your made-up alternative facts are just as factual as real facts.' Period!"
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
12 Likes, 3 Retweets
26) "If your class song is 'Breaking the Law,' I promise to show up at your graduation."
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
12 Likes, 3 Retweets
28) "Don't read, tweet!"
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
12 Likes, 1 Retweet
29) "A dog isn't a man's best friend. In English class, your best friend is CliffsNotes."
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
12 Likes, 0 Retweets
30) "If you want to be a teacher's pet, just keep telling them they're fired. They love that, big league!"
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
8 Likes, 3 Retweets
31) "If everyone in chorus lip syncs and tons of people are around, did they make a sound? Deep thoughts, kids. so deep."
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
8 Likes, 2 Retweets
32) "Like that Descartes dude said, 'I think, therefore I'm a nerd, don't have any friends, & don't get any poontang.'"
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
7 Likes, 2 Retweets
32) "If 1 in 3 classmates like you, you're probably the most popular student in history! Fact!"
#TrumpBackToSchoolTips
9 Likes, 0 Retweets
Totals: 4,972 Likes, 1,316 Retweets (Averages of 150.7 Likes, 39.9 Retweets)
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