Former Vice President Joe Biden has come under scrutiny over the past week for what has been deemed as inappropriate behavior around women. It started with Lucy Flores alleging Biden had once placed his hands on her shoulders, sniffed her hair, and planted a kiss on the top of her head. A second accuser has since come forward alleging the 2020 Democratic front-runner of pulling her toward him and rubbing noses with her on one occasion. There was also a photo which went viral of Biden placing his hands on the shoulders of the wife of former Defense Secretary Ash Carter, Stephanie Carter, while whispering something into her ear. The social media mob immediately went to work before Ms. Carter said she was grateful for what Biden did. She called him a great friend who was simply trying to be supportive and relax her. Alyssa Milano and Meghan McCain have since come forward defending the former vice president.
The saying goes that a picture is worth a thousand words, but in my opinion a picture is worth a thousand interpretations when void of context. Now, the two woman accusers should be listened to and taken seriously, but we need to cool it when it comes to providing our unscientific interpretations of photographs without the fullest context. In this case, allow Stephanie Carter to speak for herself. Doesn't it do a disservice to her and the #MeToo movement's initial call when we place words in her mouth? No matter how uncomfortable that picture may have made us outsiders, our thoughts and feelings on the matter are irrelevant to how Ms. Carter reacted to the former vice president's actions. While the voices of Lucy Flores and Amy Lappos (the second accuser) should be heard and taken seriously, so too should the voice of Stephanie Carter.
Having said all that, I'm kind of in the middle when it comes to the Biden controversy. There are actually three parties I'm not entirely thrilled with right now: 1) Joe Biden, 2) The social media mob, and 3) The #MeToo movement.
Let's start with Joe Biden. Biden's always been a very handsy kind of guy. He's never shied away from this. It's not like he's doing this in private because he knows it's wrong. No, the guy has done it in public for the world to see for four decades. There have been jokes made at his expense for those 40 years regarding his touchy-feely habits. This hasn't been some inside secret. Having said all that, though, while all of these incidents may just be cases of Biden being Biden, the guy needs to learn about boundaries. Just because one person doesn't mind him placing his hands on their shoulders while whispering words of encouragement in their ear doesn't mean every person will respond in an identical fashion. Biden's been walking a very fine line between grandfatherly and creepy for a number of years and that's not a good line to be walking down, especially when you're thinking about starting a presidential campaign. While his antics have left me feeling slightly uncomfortable at times, said antics aren't what's bothering me most about these reported stories. I honestly think Biden's behavior would receive more of a pass if he displayed these signs of care and affection towards both sexes. If he were like that with literally everybody, it wouldn't be as big of a deal, right? That hasn't been the case, though. Not once have I seen him behave in a similar manner with a member of the same sex. It's always females. So, in my opinion, he comes across as sexist/misogynistic, thinking he has the power in a relationship with a member of the opposite sex. That seeming mindset is what truly bothers me. It makes me think that he hasn't truly evolved to the 2019-level of progressive values Democrats hold so dear. It's one thing to tell the world you support equality and quite another to display behavior which runs in stark contrast to that claim. I like Joe Biden, always have. I honestly don't think he's ever intended on making a woman feel uncomfortable with his antics, but I also think he's been rather tone deaf to women's (people in general) need for space. While I don't think the incidents involving him are comparable to those involving Donald Trump and the Republican Party would be foolish to play that card if Biden becomes the Democratic nominee, do we as Democrats really want to go with a nominee where we're consistently saying, "Yeah, but he's not as bad as Trump!"? That'll seriously be something to think about moving forward.
Up next we have the social media mob and #MeToo movement. Every victim deserves to be heard and taken seriously, but we can't convict a person before a trial has even started, especially if the allegation isn't technically a crime. Both Lucy Flores and Amy Lappos deserve to have their voices heard, but so too does the person being accused. Also, it feels as if the #MeToo movement, of which I've proudly been a part, has started to go the way of the childhood game telephone, where the initial message has kind of gotten lost while people whispered what they heard to one another. It started with giving rape and sexual assault/abuse victims a voice and a feeling of strength and togetherness. Now it's basically become a sounding-off board for anyone who's felt discomfort at any point in their life. Whether it be a dirty joke told at work, a brief shoulder rub from a creepy old guy at a bar, or a hug which felt one-Mississippi too long, such stories have been shared on social media by individuals claiming this is evidence they're part of the #MeToo movement. I'm sorry, but slight discomfort isn't the same as a life-altering event. A brief shoulder rub from a creepy old guy at a bar isn't the same as a person being beaten to a pulp, raped, and threatened. To suggest the former is in any way similar to the latter does a disservice to victims everywhere and the initial intent of #MeToo. Feel uncomfortable by said joke, rub of the shoulders, or long hug? Talk to the person. Set boundaries. Provide them a warning. Try to make certain the two of you are on the same page with things. If they cross the line again, then take the next step. How will taking the story to social media solve the issue, though? What if the person you're accusing doesn't have social media? How will you get through to them that their behavior was inappropriate? I may be sounding old here, but we need fewer selfies and more communication in this country (perhaps everywhere). No person should be made to feel consistently uncomfortable, but complaining about a long hug to a rape victim and survivor will come across as insensitive, narcissistic, and tone deaf beyond words. I'm a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. If a person who knew that fact whined to me about a dirty joke they heard making them feel violated, chances are I'd have to walk outside for a moment to cool off and collect my thoughts, and I don't anger easily.
The saying goes that a picture is worth a thousand words, but in my opinion a picture is worth a thousand interpretations when void of context. Now, the two woman accusers should be listened to and taken seriously, but we need to cool it when it comes to providing our unscientific interpretations of photographs without the fullest context. In this case, allow Stephanie Carter to speak for herself. Doesn't it do a disservice to her and the #MeToo movement's initial call when we place words in her mouth? No matter how uncomfortable that picture may have made us outsiders, our thoughts and feelings on the matter are irrelevant to how Ms. Carter reacted to the former vice president's actions. While the voices of Lucy Flores and Amy Lappos (the second accuser) should be heard and taken seriously, so too should the voice of Stephanie Carter.
Having said all that, I'm kind of in the middle when it comes to the Biden controversy. There are actually three parties I'm not entirely thrilled with right now: 1) Joe Biden, 2) The social media mob, and 3) The #MeToo movement.
Let's start with Joe Biden. Biden's always been a very handsy kind of guy. He's never shied away from this. It's not like he's doing this in private because he knows it's wrong. No, the guy has done it in public for the world to see for four decades. There have been jokes made at his expense for those 40 years regarding his touchy-feely habits. This hasn't been some inside secret. Having said all that, though, while all of these incidents may just be cases of Biden being Biden, the guy needs to learn about boundaries. Just because one person doesn't mind him placing his hands on their shoulders while whispering words of encouragement in their ear doesn't mean every person will respond in an identical fashion. Biden's been walking a very fine line between grandfatherly and creepy for a number of years and that's not a good line to be walking down, especially when you're thinking about starting a presidential campaign. While his antics have left me feeling slightly uncomfortable at times, said antics aren't what's bothering me most about these reported stories. I honestly think Biden's behavior would receive more of a pass if he displayed these signs of care and affection towards both sexes. If he were like that with literally everybody, it wouldn't be as big of a deal, right? That hasn't been the case, though. Not once have I seen him behave in a similar manner with a member of the same sex. It's always females. So, in my opinion, he comes across as sexist/misogynistic, thinking he has the power in a relationship with a member of the opposite sex. That seeming mindset is what truly bothers me. It makes me think that he hasn't truly evolved to the 2019-level of progressive values Democrats hold so dear. It's one thing to tell the world you support equality and quite another to display behavior which runs in stark contrast to that claim. I like Joe Biden, always have. I honestly don't think he's ever intended on making a woman feel uncomfortable with his antics, but I also think he's been rather tone deaf to women's (people in general) need for space. While I don't think the incidents involving him are comparable to those involving Donald Trump and the Republican Party would be foolish to play that card if Biden becomes the Democratic nominee, do we as Democrats really want to go with a nominee where we're consistently saying, "Yeah, but he's not as bad as Trump!"? That'll seriously be something to think about moving forward.
Up next we have the social media mob and #MeToo movement. Every victim deserves to be heard and taken seriously, but we can't convict a person before a trial has even started, especially if the allegation isn't technically a crime. Both Lucy Flores and Amy Lappos deserve to have their voices heard, but so too does the person being accused. Also, it feels as if the #MeToo movement, of which I've proudly been a part, has started to go the way of the childhood game telephone, where the initial message has kind of gotten lost while people whispered what they heard to one another. It started with giving rape and sexual assault/abuse victims a voice and a feeling of strength and togetherness. Now it's basically become a sounding-off board for anyone who's felt discomfort at any point in their life. Whether it be a dirty joke told at work, a brief shoulder rub from a creepy old guy at a bar, or a hug which felt one-Mississippi too long, such stories have been shared on social media by individuals claiming this is evidence they're part of the #MeToo movement. I'm sorry, but slight discomfort isn't the same as a life-altering event. A brief shoulder rub from a creepy old guy at a bar isn't the same as a person being beaten to a pulp, raped, and threatened. To suggest the former is in any way similar to the latter does a disservice to victims everywhere and the initial intent of #MeToo. Feel uncomfortable by said joke, rub of the shoulders, or long hug? Talk to the person. Set boundaries. Provide them a warning. Try to make certain the two of you are on the same page with things. If they cross the line again, then take the next step. How will taking the story to social media solve the issue, though? What if the person you're accusing doesn't have social media? How will you get through to them that their behavior was inappropriate? I may be sounding old here, but we need fewer selfies and more communication in this country (perhaps everywhere). No person should be made to feel consistently uncomfortable, but complaining about a long hug to a rape victim and survivor will come across as insensitive, narcissistic, and tone deaf beyond words. I'm a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. If a person who knew that fact whined to me about a dirty joke they heard making them feel violated, chances are I'd have to walk outside for a moment to cool off and collect my thoughts, and I don't anger easily.
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