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The Top Ten Redactions in the Mueller Report

The Top Ten Redactions in the Mueller Report

 10. "The only time Donald Trump was truthful with the Special Counsel was when he admitted to often using the fake name Don Mexico."

9. "Putin knew Trump would be an easy target as soon as Donald started telling him Two-Corinthians-went-to-a-bar jokes."

8. "Trump's campaign team was forced to order more lawn signs after the first batch read, 'Putin America First.'"

7. "Trump's responses were written at a 4th-grade level, making it incredibly likely a lawyer of his not named Giuliani wrote them."

6. "Right after she discovered that Robert Mueller had been appointed, Melania yelled at Donald for 15 straight minutes in a language he couldn't understand - English."

5. "The Trump Tower meeting was actually about whether or not Vladimir Putin would be willing to adopt Donald Trump, Jr."

4. "Trump doesn't recall ever saying he has one of the world's greatest memories."

3. "Trump's first communication with Putin was in a 'Happily Married' AOL chat room, where Vlady's username was WeHaveTheBestHookers."

2. "Initially, Trump thought 'WikiLeaks' meant 'golden showers on the internet.'"

1. (drumroll) "In his first State of the Union speech post-Mueller appointment, Trump had initially planned on saying, 'I'm f*cked. You're f*cked. We're all f*cked. The state of the union is strong. God bless you & God bless the USA.'"
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