Skip to main content

The Top Ten Mitt Romney Pick-Up Lines

10. "I'll bet if you had a million dollars for every time a guy called you beautiful, you'd be one of the richest people in the world. I'm here to tell you that's possible, because I am one of the richest people in the world and yes, you are beautiful."

9. "Before you ask, yes, I'm married, but I'm Mormon, so it's cool. My wife says hello by the way."

8. "You look familiar to me. Didn't I fire you a while back for touching my hair?"

7. "Wanna get a little wild? I've got protection. I know it's late, but it won't take long. They call me Mitt the Quick."

6. "Some say I act and talk like a robot. They're partially right. In bed, I'm a machine!"

5. "I want to do to you what I plan on doing to this country..."

4. "What do I have to say or do to get you to sleep with me tonight? Just tell me. Whatever you want me to say, I'll say it. I'll be whoever you want me to be."

3. "Do you go both ways? I know I do...in every way..."

2. "Are you from Boston? Because you've got a (M)ass I'd like to 'chu'...and...'setts'. Wait...yeah, I think that's right."

1. (drum roll) "I'd really love to get to know you better. Actually, I don't think I want to get to know you. Wait, I would really like to get to know you. No, I wouldn't. Yes, I would. No, I wouldn't. You know?"
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun...
2 comments
Read more

The difference between "looking" and "checking out"

I may be way off with these numbers, but it's my approximation that at least 75% of individuals whom are involved in a serious relationship feel it's perfectly acceptable to "check out" members of the opposite sex they're not involved with. Meanwhile, approximately 25% either don't feel this is acceptable or aren't sure about the matter. I hadn't thought about this matter for a while, but since I've been dating a woman for about 8 months, the topic has been pondered about some. When reading or hearing others discuss this very issue, I often times hear comments similar to the following: "It's human nature to look." "There's nothing wrong with checking others out. I'm sure he/she does it too!" "It's fine to do it. Just don't tell your boyfriend/girlfriend about it or do it in front of them!" "It's natural to find people attractive." When observing the array of comments, I i...
Post a Comment
Read more