As I did with the three other books I've recently released (The Kind-Hearted Smarta*s - Volume 2: The Wisecracks Continue, The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck - Volume 2: The Wisecracks Continue, and LOL at the GOP - Volume 4: Guns, Jesus, Corporations, and Fetuses), I thought I'd give readers a sneak peek at the fourth book I'll be releasing in the coming weeks, which I just completed, and which is called, LOL at the GOP - Volume 5: You Can't Spell "Forgot To Take Their Crazy Pills" Without "Tea Party." Here we go...
Contents
Introduction - A Long Island Iced Tea Party is More Sane Than the Tea Party - p. 7
A Fictional Foreward by The Tea Party - p. 8
The Tea Party Philosophy - p. 9
What if other workers treated their jobs like Tea Partiers do? - p. 11
Gettin’ deep with a Critical Thinking professor and a Tea Partier - p. 12
“President Obama’s speech is just a diversion, man…” - p. 17
You know you’re obsessed with Obamacare when… - p. 20
Ted Cruz ate paint chips as a kid - p. 23
Belief: Speaking for the American people. Reality: Speaking for such a small fraction of the American people, not even Jesus can see them. - p. 27
Talkin’ ‘bout Negotiation - p. 31
Pacifiers may be needed - p. 34
The Tea Party shall now be known as The Huggies Party - p. 36
A Tea Party-Baseball Analogy - p. 40
Allen West gets in touch with his innermost Judas Priest (“Breaking the Law”) - p. 42
“Obama hates white people!” He hates part of himself then. That makes sense… - p. 43
“…The Republican Party doesn’t want black people to vote…” - p. 45
Iowa’s Scott Schaben isn’t a racist because… - p. 47
A conservative Facebook group calls for a new national holiday - p. 49
Allow me to introduce you to activist Roan Garcia-Quintana - p. 50
Misspelling the title of your own book on the front cover can never be a good thing - p. 53
North Carolina Governor Pat McCrory’s middle name might as well be BS - p. 54
Donald Trump sues Bill Maher over an orangutan joke - p. 55
“How to Be a Real Man” - brought to you by New Jersey Senate candidate Steve Lonegan - p. 57
OCT with guns + MDA in a restaurant = - p. 58
The Buckeye Firearms Foundation wants to buy George Zimmerman a gun. …and O.J. Simpson a knife… and… - p. 60
If Gandhi marched with guns… - p. 62
South Carolina State Senator Lee Bright shows his last name to be misleading - p. 63
The bass ackwardsness of E.W. Jackson - p. 65
When not to tell a joke… - p. 67
A sex toy for Michele Bachmann - p. 68
I miss her already (Michelle Bachmann)… - p. 69
Talking to Women 101 - p. 72
New Mexico Representative Steve Pearce gives treats to obedient women - p. 74
North Carolina Governor Pat McCrory: Anti-choice on abortion and pro-choice on cookies - p. 75
“Pregnancy is like cancer” - p. 76
“Well, isn’t that convenient?” No, not unless you’re an idiot… - p. 77
“Abortion leads to global warming!” - p. 81
The Global Warming Conspiracy - p. 82
Steve Stockman impersonates Haley Joel Osment: “I get endorsed by dead people.” - p. 85
Wikipedia + Gattaca + Plagiarism = Rand Paul - p. 87
Rand Paul: “If I were a journalism teacher…” - p. 89
Coming soon: A plagiarism ad - brought to you by Rand Paul - p. 90
“Education shouldn’t be mandatory” - p. 91
Badass Jesus - p. 93
Beyond Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs - p. 96
In the distant future, when Democrats and Republicans form two separate countries… - p. 101
References - p. 107
Acknowledgements - p. 117
About the Author - p. 119
Contents
Introduction - A Long Island Iced Tea Party is More Sane Than the Tea Party - p. 7
A Fictional Foreward by The Tea Party - p. 8
The Tea Party Philosophy - p. 9
What if other workers treated their jobs like Tea Partiers do? - p. 11
Gettin’ deep with a Critical Thinking professor and a Tea Partier - p. 12
“President Obama’s speech is just a diversion, man…” - p. 17
You know you’re obsessed with Obamacare when… - p. 20
Ted Cruz ate paint chips as a kid - p. 23
Belief: Speaking for the American people. Reality: Speaking for such a small fraction of the American people, not even Jesus can see them. - p. 27
Talkin’ ‘bout Negotiation - p. 31
Pacifiers may be needed - p. 34
The Tea Party shall now be known as The Huggies Party - p. 36
A Tea Party-Baseball Analogy - p. 40
Allen West gets in touch with his innermost Judas Priest (“Breaking the Law”) - p. 42
“Obama hates white people!” He hates part of himself then. That makes sense… - p. 43
“…The Republican Party doesn’t want black people to vote…” - p. 45
Iowa’s Scott Schaben isn’t a racist because… - p. 47
A conservative Facebook group calls for a new national holiday - p. 49
Allow me to introduce you to activist Roan Garcia-Quintana - p. 50
Misspelling the title of your own book on the front cover can never be a good thing - p. 53
North Carolina Governor Pat McCrory’s middle name might as well be BS - p. 54
Donald Trump sues Bill Maher over an orangutan joke - p. 55
“How to Be a Real Man” - brought to you by New Jersey Senate candidate Steve Lonegan - p. 57
OCT with guns + MDA in a restaurant = - p. 58
The Buckeye Firearms Foundation wants to buy George Zimmerman a gun. …and O.J. Simpson a knife… and… - p. 60
If Gandhi marched with guns… - p. 62
South Carolina State Senator Lee Bright shows his last name to be misleading - p. 63
The bass ackwardsness of E.W. Jackson - p. 65
When not to tell a joke… - p. 67
A sex toy for Michele Bachmann - p. 68
I miss her already (Michelle Bachmann)… - p. 69
Talking to Women 101 - p. 72
New Mexico Representative Steve Pearce gives treats to obedient women - p. 74
North Carolina Governor Pat McCrory: Anti-choice on abortion and pro-choice on cookies - p. 75
“Pregnancy is like cancer” - p. 76
“Well, isn’t that convenient?” No, not unless you’re an idiot… - p. 77
“Abortion leads to global warming!” - p. 81
The Global Warming Conspiracy - p. 82
Steve Stockman impersonates Haley Joel Osment: “I get endorsed by dead people.” - p. 85
Wikipedia + Gattaca + Plagiarism = Rand Paul - p. 87
Rand Paul: “If I were a journalism teacher…” - p. 89
Coming soon: A plagiarism ad - brought to you by Rand Paul - p. 90
“Education shouldn’t be mandatory” - p. 91
Badass Jesus - p. 93
Beyond Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs - p. 96
In the distant future, when Democrats and Republicans form two separate countries… - p. 101
References - p. 107
Acknowledgements - p. 117
About the Author - p. 119
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