As I did with two other books I'll be releasing in the near future (The Kind-Hearted Smarta*s - Volume 2: The Wisecracks Continue and The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck - Volume 2: The Wisecracks Continue), I thought I'd give readers a sneak peek at the third book I'll be releasing in the coming weeks, which I just completed, and which is called, LOL at the GOP - Volume 4: Guns, Jesus, Corporations, and Fetuses. Here we go...
Contents
Introduction - Every Day is Like Christmas - p. 8
The Obamascare - p. 9
“Obamacare = apartheid” - p. 13
Papa John’s offers greed as a topping - p. 14
To Rush Limbaugh, the Pope + his criticism of capitalism = an Obama orgasm - p. 15
Romney in 47% denial - p. 18
Who’s to blame for the poor Hurricane Katrina response? Just ask Louisiana Republicans… - p. 20
John Boehner changes his name to John Boner - p. 22
When Facebook and stupid political comments collide - p. 24
Pat Robertson educates the world on magic gay rings - p. 31
Pat Robertson was a poet in a former life - p. 33
A Virginia pastor has found the “cure” for homosexuality - stroking horses! - p. 34
Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin simultaneously comes out against gay marriage and our military
- p. 34
To one group, gun rights = gay rights - p. 37
In Charleston, West Virginia, pack your floaties and guns before heading to the pool - p. 41
Blind people with guns? Yeah, that sounds like a good idea… - p. 42
“Don’t run with scissors!” Run with guns? That’s another story… - p. 47
Are guns in schools risky? Insurers say, “Well, duh.” - p. 48
“Guns don’t kill people; Skittles do!” - p. 50
Gotcha and Limperdick Square Off (an allegory of the George Zimmerman/Trayvon Martin case)
- p. 52
More Good Guys With Guns - p. 56
A Lesson on English and Death Threats - p. 61
The Story of Big T: The Man with a Big Truck and a Big Gun - p. 63
Juxtaposing Jesus and pro-gun bumper stickers - p. 66
Believers in the invisible, but not of the observable - p. 67
God spared Boehner as House Speaker…or something… - p. 70
Rick Perry, while singing “Jangle Balls,” signs the “Merry Christmas Bill” into law - p. 71
The GOP’s new Ten Commandments - p. 72
The Top Ten Things More Popular Than the Republican Party - p. 74
Over-analyzing Bush’s paintings - p. 75
To the Republican Party, Ronald Reagan has become like Chuck Norris - p. 78
Clarence Thomas smooth-talking a woman - p. 80
“If I Only Had a Brain” should be the theme song for Maine Republican Ken Fredette - p. 82
When it comes to women, Mitch McConnell can’t make up his mind - p. 83
According to Rick Santorum, the anti-abortion movement is one of “love” - p. 85
Apparently, liberals talk about abortion while in the shower - p. 87
Nothing spells s-e-x-i-s-t like “Fox and Friends” - p. 90
To Bill O’Reilly, marijuana = Russian roulette - p. 93
The Three Degrees of Benghazi - p. 96
Think Benghazi is the biggest political scandal in U.S. history? If so, then there’s a decent chance you
don’t know where it’s located… - p. 98
The South Carolina Republican Party calls the IRS “scandal” “Obama’s Gestapo” - p. 99
The GOP hates Obama so much… - p. 101
Racism is over!!! …so says the GOP… - p. 102
Republicans try to woo minorities with history of the semi-ancient variety - p. 104
The Essence of Trickle-Down Economics - p. 110
References - p. 114
Acknowledgements - p. 121
About the Author - p. 123
Contents
Introduction - Every Day is Like Christmas - p. 8
The Obamascare - p. 9
“Obamacare = apartheid” - p. 13
Papa John’s offers greed as a topping - p. 14
To Rush Limbaugh, the Pope + his criticism of capitalism = an Obama orgasm - p. 15
Romney in 47% denial - p. 18
Who’s to blame for the poor Hurricane Katrina response? Just ask Louisiana Republicans… - p. 20
John Boehner changes his name to John Boner - p. 22
When Facebook and stupid political comments collide - p. 24
Pat Robertson educates the world on magic gay rings - p. 31
Pat Robertson was a poet in a former life - p. 33
A Virginia pastor has found the “cure” for homosexuality - stroking horses! - p. 34
Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin simultaneously comes out against gay marriage and our military
- p. 34
To one group, gun rights = gay rights - p. 37
In Charleston, West Virginia, pack your floaties and guns before heading to the pool - p. 41
Blind people with guns? Yeah, that sounds like a good idea… - p. 42
“Don’t run with scissors!” Run with guns? That’s another story… - p. 47
Are guns in schools risky? Insurers say, “Well, duh.” - p. 48
“Guns don’t kill people; Skittles do!” - p. 50
Gotcha and Limperdick Square Off (an allegory of the George Zimmerman/Trayvon Martin case)
- p. 52
More Good Guys With Guns - p. 56
A Lesson on English and Death Threats - p. 61
The Story of Big T: The Man with a Big Truck and a Big Gun - p. 63
Juxtaposing Jesus and pro-gun bumper stickers - p. 66
Believers in the invisible, but not of the observable - p. 67
God spared Boehner as House Speaker…or something… - p. 70
Rick Perry, while singing “Jangle Balls,” signs the “Merry Christmas Bill” into law - p. 71
The GOP’s new Ten Commandments - p. 72
The Top Ten Things More Popular Than the Republican Party - p. 74
Over-analyzing Bush’s paintings - p. 75
To the Republican Party, Ronald Reagan has become like Chuck Norris - p. 78
Clarence Thomas smooth-talking a woman - p. 80
“If I Only Had a Brain” should be the theme song for Maine Republican Ken Fredette - p. 82
When it comes to women, Mitch McConnell can’t make up his mind - p. 83
According to Rick Santorum, the anti-abortion movement is one of “love” - p. 85
Apparently, liberals talk about abortion while in the shower - p. 87
Nothing spells s-e-x-i-s-t like “Fox and Friends” - p. 90
To Bill O’Reilly, marijuana = Russian roulette - p. 93
The Three Degrees of Benghazi - p. 96
Think Benghazi is the biggest political scandal in U.S. history? If so, then there’s a decent chance you
don’t know where it’s located… - p. 98
The South Carolina Republican Party calls the IRS “scandal” “Obama’s Gestapo” - p. 99
The GOP hates Obama so much… - p. 101
Racism is over!!! …so says the GOP… - p. 102
Republicans try to woo minorities with history of the semi-ancient variety - p. 104
The Essence of Trickle-Down Economics - p. 110
References - p. 114
Acknowledgements - p. 121
About the Author - p. 123
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