If Benghazi were a woman, she would have filed a restraining order against Fox News a long time ago, and won. Fox seems more obsessed with Benghazi than the Chicago Cubs are about disappointing fans and meteorologists are about getting forecasts wrong. While CNN could probably change their name to MAN, or the Malaysian Airlines Network, Fox News could just change their name to BBS, or Benghazi Bullsh*t. It seems that regardless of the story at hand, Fox will find a way to link the story to Benghazi, or at least find an awkward segue. I imagine even after the anchors' programs end, they find ways to bring up Benghazi daily in the real world. While these following discussions may seem a bit far-fetched, sadly enough, watch Fox News for 15 minutes at any point throughout the day and you'll probably realize they're not that drastic of exaggerations after all.
Event: Fox News program
Anchor #1: "So, how about those Miami Heat? Coming off two straight NBA championships, they dominated the Charlotte Bobcats in the first round, and blew out the Brooklyn Nets in the first game of round two."
Anchor #2: "Enough about sticking balls in holes! Instead, let's talk about something which left holes in each and every one of our hearts - Benghazi."
Event: At the grocery store
Cashier: "That will be $119.48."
Fox News anchor: "How much? Are you kidding me? How can this cost that much? Are you ripping me off, lady? Wait, wait... I digress... You know what? I will pay you that amount of money. That's not nearly the price four people paid in Benghazi. How much was it again? $19?"
Event: Dinner with the family
Fox News anchor's wife: "Here you are, gentlemen. I know how much you all love lasagna. Dinner is served!"
Fox News anchor: "Wait - what? What's served? Benghazi?"
Wife: "Lasagna"
Anchor: "Oh, okay. Sorry - my mind was elsewhere when you said that apparently."
Wife: "It always is..."
Event: Conversing with his kids
Fox News anchor: "So, what is this about the Benghazi Apocalypse? I keep hearing about it - on the news, on Facebook, from other kids such as yourselves..."
Older kid: "It's the zombie apocalypse, dad!"
Anchor: "No, no, no. I distinctly heard Benghazi Apocalypse. Is that a new movie coming out or is it actually happening?"
Younger kid: "You're silly, dad."
Anchor: "No - I'm being 100% serious here! Someone tell me about the Benghazi Apocalypse!"
Both kids: ::laugh::
Anchor: "Ugh!"
Event: A first date
Woman: "So, what kind of music do you like?"
Fox News anchor: "Well, I'm not as young as I used to be, so I tend to go for slower rock nowadays, like Tom Petty, CCR, and Kenny Chesney. However, I still have a thing for Benghazi Osbourne."
Woman: "Ozzy Osbourne?"
Anchor: "Yeah - that's what I said."
Woman: "No - I think you said Benghazi Osbourne."
Anchor: "No, I didn't say Ozzy Osbourne. I said Benghazi Osbourne."
Woman: "I know - that's what I said."
Anchor: "No - you said I said Benghazi Osbourne instead of Ozzy Osbourne, when I said Benghazi Osbourne, not Ozzy Osbourne."
Woman: "Are you trying to be funny or something?"
Anchor: "No - totally serious. My favorite Benghazi song is probably 'Crazy Train.' That song always gets me pumped."
Woman: "I think I'm getting a headache and should probably go."
Anchor: "Oh, okay. Well, let me know when you get back and if you'd like to do this again. I think I'll just be driving home listening to Benghazi Osbourne's greatest hits!"
Woman: ::storms out::
Anchor: "Geez... Was it something I said?"
Event: Fox News program
Anchor #1: "So, how about those Miami Heat? Coming off two straight NBA championships, they dominated the Charlotte Bobcats in the first round, and blew out the Brooklyn Nets in the first game of round two."
Anchor #2: "Enough about sticking balls in holes! Instead, let's talk about something which left holes in each and every one of our hearts - Benghazi."
Event: At the grocery store
Cashier: "That will be $119.48."
Fox News anchor: "How much? Are you kidding me? How can this cost that much? Are you ripping me off, lady? Wait, wait... I digress... You know what? I will pay you that amount of money. That's not nearly the price four people paid in Benghazi. How much was it again? $19?"
Event: Dinner with the family
Fox News anchor's wife: "Here you are, gentlemen. I know how much you all love lasagna. Dinner is served!"
Fox News anchor: "Wait - what? What's served? Benghazi?"
Wife: "Lasagna"
Anchor: "Oh, okay. Sorry - my mind was elsewhere when you said that apparently."
Wife: "It always is..."
Event: Conversing with his kids
Fox News anchor: "So, what is this about the Benghazi Apocalypse? I keep hearing about it - on the news, on Facebook, from other kids such as yourselves..."
Older kid: "It's the zombie apocalypse, dad!"
Anchor: "No, no, no. I distinctly heard Benghazi Apocalypse. Is that a new movie coming out or is it actually happening?"
Younger kid: "You're silly, dad."
Anchor: "No - I'm being 100% serious here! Someone tell me about the Benghazi Apocalypse!"
Both kids: ::laugh::
Anchor: "Ugh!"
Event: A first date
Woman: "So, what kind of music do you like?"
Fox News anchor: "Well, I'm not as young as I used to be, so I tend to go for slower rock nowadays, like Tom Petty, CCR, and Kenny Chesney. However, I still have a thing for Benghazi Osbourne."
Woman: "Ozzy Osbourne?"
Anchor: "Yeah - that's what I said."
Woman: "No - I think you said Benghazi Osbourne."
Anchor: "No, I didn't say Ozzy Osbourne. I said Benghazi Osbourne."
Woman: "I know - that's what I said."
Anchor: "No - you said I said Benghazi Osbourne instead of Ozzy Osbourne, when I said Benghazi Osbourne, not Ozzy Osbourne."
Woman: "Are you trying to be funny or something?"
Anchor: "No - totally serious. My favorite Benghazi song is probably 'Crazy Train.' That song always gets me pumped."
Woman: "I think I'm getting a headache and should probably go."
Anchor: "Oh, okay. Well, let me know when you get back and if you'd like to do this again. I think I'll just be driving home listening to Benghazi Osbourne's greatest hits!"
Woman: ::storms out::
Anchor: "Geez... Was it something I said?"
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