On Saturday night, I went out with my dad to a local pub to see a band perform. While there, we bumped into a buddy of ours, who, at one point, said a certain lady was giving him the eye. So, when the two of them went outside to smoke and talk, she flirted with him, before out of the middle of nowhere, a massive man walked towards them, gave the woman a big hug and kiss, and in response, she said, "I've missed you." Our buddy then walked in, told us the story, and said, "Why lead me on like that? Why not just say her boyfriend, or whatever he is, was on the way? I would've then left her alone and started looking elsewhere." So, why do she and others lead people on? Since everyone is different, and due to that, there can be no universal reason as to why people lead others on, I do think there are a few common reasons why some people do this.
1. Attention - When some people notice that another has taken a liking to them, they may flirt and almost egg them on, because they like the attention, and like feeling special and attractive. Perhaps they just got out of a rough relationship, maybe they were rejected not too far back, perhaps they're a bit insecure, or maybe they're one of those whom always likes to be the center of attention. This is probably what the woman in the story from Saturday night was seeking. The reason for that is anyone's guess, but my friend had a right to be irritated by the series of events which took place.
2. Uncertainty - This can happen when a person thinks he or she may like the other, but doesn't know how much. So, instead of rejecting the person all together, they play along to see where it goes. This is a very dangerous strategy, because if this person discovers he or she doesn't care for the other person in the same way the other cares for them, depending on how long this little "game" lasts, it could end the relationship entirely.
3. Think they're being nice - I notice this with a lot of women, and even some guys. Some people just hate feeling mean and hurting others' feelings, so instead of telling an obviously interested person that they're not interested, they kind of shrug their shoulders and pretend they didn't hear the other's heartfelt sentiments, because in their eyes, rejection is a more hurtful tactic than this. However, that usually isn't the case, and the longer they carry on with this tactic, the more it's going to hurt the other's feelings in the end.
There are other reasons people lead others' on, but these are the first three that came to mind for me - and regardless of the reason, leading a person on is misleading, selfish, and hurtful. In the three before-mentioned examples, people in group #1 lead others on just to feel good about themselves, people in group #2 are stringing others along because of their indecisiveness, and people in group #3 aren't concerned with hurting others' feelings so much as they're concerned about feeling guilty for hurting others' feelings. Back in my college years, I regretfully admit that I resorted to tactic #3. However, after taking an extended break from the dating world, I can proudly say I haven't resorted to any of these tactics (or others) since that time. Why lead another on to make them feel you're interested when you're not? While the quick rejection may be temporarily painful, the sooner it occurs, the sooner they'll get over it, and the sooner they'll be able to look for someone who is actually interested rather than wasting their time with someone who's not.
1. Attention - When some people notice that another has taken a liking to them, they may flirt and almost egg them on, because they like the attention, and like feeling special and attractive. Perhaps they just got out of a rough relationship, maybe they were rejected not too far back, perhaps they're a bit insecure, or maybe they're one of those whom always likes to be the center of attention. This is probably what the woman in the story from Saturday night was seeking. The reason for that is anyone's guess, but my friend had a right to be irritated by the series of events which took place.
2. Uncertainty - This can happen when a person thinks he or she may like the other, but doesn't know how much. So, instead of rejecting the person all together, they play along to see where it goes. This is a very dangerous strategy, because if this person discovers he or she doesn't care for the other person in the same way the other cares for them, depending on how long this little "game" lasts, it could end the relationship entirely.
3. Think they're being nice - I notice this with a lot of women, and even some guys. Some people just hate feeling mean and hurting others' feelings, so instead of telling an obviously interested person that they're not interested, they kind of shrug their shoulders and pretend they didn't hear the other's heartfelt sentiments, because in their eyes, rejection is a more hurtful tactic than this. However, that usually isn't the case, and the longer they carry on with this tactic, the more it's going to hurt the other's feelings in the end.
There are other reasons people lead others' on, but these are the first three that came to mind for me - and regardless of the reason, leading a person on is misleading, selfish, and hurtful. In the three before-mentioned examples, people in group #1 lead others on just to feel good about themselves, people in group #2 are stringing others along because of their indecisiveness, and people in group #3 aren't concerned with hurting others' feelings so much as they're concerned about feeling guilty for hurting others' feelings. Back in my college years, I regretfully admit that I resorted to tactic #3. However, after taking an extended break from the dating world, I can proudly say I haven't resorted to any of these tactics (or others) since that time. Why lead another on to make them feel you're interested when you're not? While the quick rejection may be temporarily painful, the sooner it occurs, the sooner they'll get over it, and the sooner they'll be able to look for someone who is actually interested rather than wasting their time with someone who's not.
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