Skip to main content

#NewTrumpCabinetPositions and #TrumpsFirstOrder

I had a bit of fun with the trending hashtags #NewTrumpCabinetPositions and #TrumpsFirstOrder on Twitter over the past week. Here are my posts, ordered from the most to the least popular (all my tweets can be viewed here - https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki):

1) Department of Extramarital Affairs
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
306 Likes, 132 Retweets

2) To have the Constitution read to him for the first time
#TrumpsFirstOrder
283 Likes, 96 Retweets

2) Department of No, He Didn't Say That. Oh, You Have Video? That Was His Stunt Double.
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
286 Likes, 93 Retweets

4) Department of P*ssy Grabbing
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
208 Likes, 93 Retweets

5) Secretary of Spray Tanning
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
178 Likes, 62 Retweets

6) Environmental Destruction Agency
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
137 Likes, 89 Retweets

7) Department of Gropery
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
157 Likes, 67 Retweets

8) Department of Wrong, Wrong, Wrong
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
142 Likes, 60 Retweets

9) Department of Rich Tax-Evader Lives Matter
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
138 Likes, 51 Retweets

10) Department of Gold Toilet Security
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
127 Likes, 41 Retweets

11) Secretary of Telling It Like It Isn't
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
115 Likes, 37 Retweets

12) Department of Two Corinthians
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
112 Likes, 39 Retweets

13) "To nuke or not to nuke? Magic 8-Ball, what do you think?"
#TrumpsFirstOrder
98 Likes, 27 Retweets

14) Department of Rich Daddy Loans
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
79 Likes, 30 Retweets

15) To get his 75 pending lawsuits dismissed
#TrumpsFirstOrder
73 Likes, 24 Retweets

16) To take some time off in order to go nude horseback riding with Vladimir Putin
#TrumpsFirstOrder
69 Likes, 25 Retweets

17) President of Russia
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
62 Likes, 26 Retweets

18) Secretary of Denying Offensive Tweets
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
62 Likes, 21 Retweets

18) Secretary of White Supremacist Retweets
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
63 Likes, 20 Retweets

20) Department of the Poorly Educated
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
51 Likes, 22 Retweets

20) To build a big beautiful firewall to keep facts away
#TrumpsFirstOrder
57 Likes, 16 Retweets

22) Department of Douchery
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
39 Likes, 24 Retweets

23) Department of Bigly Education
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
42 Likes, 19 Retweets

24) Telling his sons to conduct an experiment with a freezer to disprove global warming
#TrumpsFirstOrder
45 Likes, 13 Retweets

25) Department of Rich Old White Guys (okay, this one is actually true)
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
42 Likes, 10 Retweets

26) Secretary of Contradictions
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
37 Likes, 14 Retweets

27) Department of Mistresses
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
38 Likes, 12 Retweets

28) To have his ghostwriter start the new book, "How to Make Russia Great Again"
#TrumpsFirstOrder
35 Likes, 13 Retweets

29) Department of Alternate Reality
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
29 Likes, 14 Retweets

30) Department of Making America Grate Again
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
29 Likes, 13 Retweets

30) "From this day forward, everyone shall refer to me as Mr. Bigly."
#TrumpsFirstOrder
34 Likes, 8 Retweets

30) Department of Wherever, Whoever, However, and Whatever
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
35 Likes, 7 Retweets

33) To name himself the Secretary of Douchebaggery
#TrumpsFirstOrder
30 Likes, 11 Retweets

34) Secretary of Idiocracy
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
30 Likes, 9 Retweets

34) Secretary of You Can't Always Get What You Want
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
31 Likes, 8 Retweets

36) Telling fathers to provide their kids with "very very small" $1 million loans
#TrumpsFirstOrder
26 Likes, 12 Retweets

36) Department of Fact-Checking Fact-Checkers
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
32 Likes, 6 Retweets

38) Secretary of http://RussianSingles.com
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
25 Likes, 12 Retweets

38) Secretary of the Daily National Enquirer Briefing
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
28 Likes, 9 Retweets

38) To make our national book "Two Corinthians"
#TrumpsFirstOrder
29 Likes, 8 Retweets

38) Angry Gibberish Translator
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
31 Likes, 6 Retweets

42) The Con-Science Department
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
25 Likes, 11 Retweets

43) Secretary of Projection
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
26 Likes, 9 Retweets

44) Department Sh*t Jesus Wouldn't Do
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
24 Likes, 10 Retweets

45) Department of Denial
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
23 Likes, 10 Retweets

45) Department of Drumpf's Insecurity
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
24 Likes, 9 Retweets

45) Secretary of The Best Words
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
24 Likes, 9 Retweets

48) To make a cameo in another porn - this one by the title of, "Orange Is the New Shrinkage"
#TrumpsFirstOrder
26 Likes, 5 Retweets

49) Department of Crookedness
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
23 Likes, 7 Retweets

50) Department of Overcompensation
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
23 Likes, 5 Retweets

51) Department of Devolution
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
19 Likes, 5 Retweets

52) Department That's What She Said (Michelle Obama)
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
17 Likes, 5 Retweets

53) Department of Sign Violence Prevention
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
17 Likes, 4 Retweets

54) Orange Man's Chief of Staff
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
16 Likes, 3 Retweets

55) Department of Bigly Big League
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
15 Likes, 3 Retweets

56) To make Donald Drumpf again
#TrumpsFirstOrder
14 Likes, 3 Retweets

57) Department of Defending DT's Fallacies
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
11 Likes, 5 Retweets

58) Department of Like Treasuring Treasured Treasury or Something
#NewTrumpCabinetPositions
10 Likes, 3 Retweets

Totals: 3,807 Likes, 1,405 Retweets (Averages of 65.6 Likes, 24.2 Retweets)

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun...

Trump's Lie Tally at the CNN Debate

1) "We had the greatest economy in the history of our country. We had never done so well. Every – everybody was amazed by it. Other countries were copying us." 2) "But the thing we never got the credit for, and we should have, is getting us out of that COVID mess." 3) "The only jobs he created are for illegal immigrants and bounceback jobs; they’re bounced back from the COVID." 4) "Not going to drive them higher. It’s just going to cause countries that have been ripping us off for years, like China and many others, in all fairness to China – it’s going to just force them to pay us a lot of money, reduce our deficit tremendously, and give us a lot of power for other things." (tariffs) 5) "He also said he inherited 9 percent inflation." 6) "No, he inherited almost no inflation and it stayed that way for 14 months. And then it blew up under his leadership, because they spent money like a bunch of people that didn’t know what t...