Skip to main content

The Top Ten Donald Trump Denialist Quotes

After Donald Trump erroneously claimed he would have disarmed the Parkland, Florida school shooter with his bare hands had he been there, I thought I'd have some fun with some other potential Donald Trump never-would-ever-happen quotes. Here they are...

The Top Ten Donald Trump Denialist Quotes
10. "If I had been in Jina when they were about to invent the global warming hoax, I would have said, 'Hey, Jiiina! Cool it!,' and that would have been the end of it, folks."

9. "In the Civil War, I woulda beaten both sides with my bare hands."

8. "Darth Vader woulda died in the opening scene of Star Wars if I had been in it. I'm just sayin'. I'm just sayin'."

7. "If I had been around salt water during Hurricane Katrina, I woulda run out to it, started swimming in it, hit it with my bare hands, and it would've stopped, believe me."

6. "If I were God, I woulda created the world in 5 days."

5. "I've always said this. If I had been the 5th Beatle, John Legend woulda never gotten shot or dated that Yoko Ono chick."

4. "I've thought long and hard about this, and if I had been at that concert in Vegas when the guy shot all those people, I would have thrown my private paper airplane and killed him on the spot. I guarantee it. I guarantee it."

3. "I woulda only needed a rubberband & a Blockbuster card to kill Hitler."

2. "I really think if I had been there, I would have jumped on to the iceberg and pushed the Titanic away from it with my bare hands. I really do."

1. (drumroll) "I'm gonna build a wall and make Mexico pay for it."
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun
2 comments
Read more

The difference between "looking" and "checking out"

I may be way off with these numbers, but it's my approximation that at least 75% of individuals whom are involved in a serious relationship feel it's perfectly acceptable to "check out" members of the opposite sex they're not involved with. Meanwhile, approximately 25% either don't feel this is acceptable or aren't sure about the matter. I hadn't thought about this matter for a while, but since I've been dating a woman for about 8 months, the topic has been pondered about some. When reading or hearing others discuss this very issue, I often times hear comments similar to the following: "It's human nature to look." "There's nothing wrong with checking others out. I'm sure he/she does it too!" "It's fine to do it. Just don't tell your boyfriend/girlfriend about it or do it in front of them!" "It's natural to find people attractive." When observing the array of comments, I i
Post a Comment
Read more

The verdict is in. To no one's surprise, Jonathan Hoenig has been found guilty of being an idiot.

Just recently, when discussing the Michael Brown shooting and whether or not race had anything to do with it, Fox News contributor Jonathan Hoenig said, "You know who talks about race? Racists." One moment while I provide Mr. Hoenig with the well deserved slow-clap. :: slow-claps for two seconds :: So, that was quite the line by Mr. Hoenig, wasn't it? "You know who talks about race? Racists." Well, wasn't he just talking about race? So, by his own words, I guess that makes him a racist. Also, if he wants to be consistent, does this mean that people whom talk about gender are sexists and people whom talk about sexual orientation are homophobes? With that line of thinking, Hoenig would engage in the following back-and-forths: Hoenig: "So, who are you voting for?" A woman: "The Democratic candidate, because he's been adamant about his support for equal rights for women." Hoenig: "You sexist feminist nazi!"
Post a Comment
Read more