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My New Year's Goal: To Be a Better Person

I don't often get personal on here, but feel the need to do so to start the new year. I've never really been one for New Year's resolutions. This year is different, however.

Last year was a bumpy, transitional year for me. For the longest time, I was battling early- to middle-life demons, from childhood sexual abuse to epilepsy to a brain tumor and subsequent surgery and beyond. I never fully dealt with the abuse I suffered as a child, for fear my attacker would come after me. This led me to depression, isolation, anxiety, and alcohol. With the help of those closest to me, I finally began the process of placing those demons behind me last year. I still have a ways to go, however, and hope I'm able to ultimately defeat said demons this year.

That's my ultimate goal. I no longer want to be in any way controlled by the demons of my past. I want to finally feel like I have some control over my life. I want to be a better man, a better father, a better boyfriend, a better person. I want to be someone my son can be proud about. I want to be the person I've always strived to be. I want to be able to look back at all the demons of my past and accurately state, "Bye, Felicia." I don't just want this for myself; I want this for my friends and family as well.

I've finally gotten my anxiety under control. Isolation is no longer a problem for me. I'm progressing in the right direction with regard to my depression. In addition to that, I've decided to stop drinking alcohol, at least for a while. It's done more harm than good and I just think it's a step forward in my aspiration to be a better person. The greatest buzz shouldn't come from a pill or a bottle; it should come from finding true happiness in one's life, and that's what I want. I consider myself a very lucky person overall. I couldn't ask for a better family, son, or girlfriend. It's high past time I turn the tables and make them feel just as fortunate to be associated with me. Given all I've been through in my 37 years, I feel grateful, even lucky, just to be alive. Now it's time to fully embrace and make the most of that life. Here's to each and every one of us helping ourselves or another in this new year. Cheers (a sip of water).

Comments

  1. Well, for what it's worth, this goofy dork over here thinks you're doing great and I consider myself very lucky to know you. So, I'll always be more than glad to cheer you on as you continue navigating through this journey called Life; bumps, potholes, smooth and shiny, or whatever pops up. You'll never have to walk alone, because just like Liam Neeson, I have a particular set of skills, except when I find you, I'll hug you instead of kill you haha. I'm a stubborn, goofy, Liam Neeson, Macgyver, Craig Ferguson's evil twin kind of oddball, but it is what it is. I'm ok with it anyway... Lol

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