Skip to main content

What I learned in Week 10 of the NFL season

In Week 10 of the NFL season, I learned that...

- ...the New York Jets are the crazy uncle Tommy of the NFL, for they look best when they're not present.

- ..., when Bill Belichick is handed a shit sandwich, he turns it into two dozen roses.

- ...Lamar Jackson can throw the football about as far as Danny DeVito can throw Arnold Schwarzenegger.

- ...Nick Chubb is a smart man's Todd Gurley.

- ..., even though Drew Brees has cracked ribs, a collapsed lung, a torn heart, and a pair of missing hands, Sean Payton is still thinking about starting him over Jameis Winston.

- ..., when at confession last week, Bills and Cardinals fans didn't realize until Sunday that the hail marys were to be taken literally.

- ...the fade pass is about as useless as a Democrat voting in Wyoming.

- ..., at Thanksgiving dinner, deaf football fans will say, "We're truly grateful for not having to listen to Matt Millen's announcing on Sundays. Amen."

- ...Russell Wilson is celebrating Christmas early this year, as for the past couple weeks, he's been handing unsuspecting recipients free balls inside the red zone.

- ..., the NFC East is so bad, the nickname of the "Redskins" would be the least offensive thing about it this year.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun
2 comments
Read more

The difference between "looking" and "checking out"

I may be way off with these numbers, but it's my approximation that at least 75% of individuals whom are involved in a serious relationship feel it's perfectly acceptable to "check out" members of the opposite sex they're not involved with. Meanwhile, approximately 25% either don't feel this is acceptable or aren't sure about the matter. I hadn't thought about this matter for a while, but since I've been dating a woman for about 8 months, the topic has been pondered about some. When reading or hearing others discuss this very issue, I often times hear comments similar to the following: "It's human nature to look." "There's nothing wrong with checking others out. I'm sure he/she does it too!" "It's fine to do it. Just don't tell your boyfriend/girlfriend about it or do it in front of them!" "It's natural to find people attractive." When observing the array of comments, I i
Post a Comment
Read more

The verdict is in. To no one's surprise, Jonathan Hoenig has been found guilty of being an idiot.

Just recently, when discussing the Michael Brown shooting and whether or not race had anything to do with it, Fox News contributor Jonathan Hoenig said, "You know who talks about race? Racists." One moment while I provide Mr. Hoenig with the well deserved slow-clap. :: slow-claps for two seconds :: So, that was quite the line by Mr. Hoenig, wasn't it? "You know who talks about race? Racists." Well, wasn't he just talking about race? So, by his own words, I guess that makes him a racist. Also, if he wants to be consistent, does this mean that people whom talk about gender are sexists and people whom talk about sexual orientation are homophobes? With that line of thinking, Hoenig would engage in the following back-and-forths: Hoenig: "So, who are you voting for?" A woman: "The Democratic candidate, because he's been adamant about his support for equal rights for women." Hoenig: "You sexist feminist nazi!"
Post a Comment
Read more