Skip to main content

GOP ponders dropping elephants on people

Even though polls are showcasing a public approval rating of just 17% for the Obamacare-repeal-and-replace bill, Republican lawmakers appear to be on the verge of going ahead with their healthcare reform package, which would include the death of 23 million people via elephants pummeling them after being dropped from the Statue of Liberty.

With regard to the measure, House Speaker Paul Ryan had this to say:

"Obamacare is failing. People are spending way too much money. There aren't enough options. People are going bankrupt. It's just not working. So what we need to do is offer a sure-fire option, and that's dropping a 12,000 lb. animal from 305 feet in the air right onto a person who will no longer have to worry about paying Obamacare's ridiculous premiums!"

After hearing this, it's been rumored that Lady Liberty altered her pose from holding a torch to giving herself a facepalm.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun...

The difference between "looking" and "checking out"

I may be way off with these numbers, but it's my approximation that at least 75% of individuals whom are involved in a serious relationship feel it's perfectly acceptable to "check out" members of the opposite sex they're not involved with. Meanwhile, approximately 25% either don't feel this is acceptable or aren't sure about the matter. I hadn't thought about this matter for a while, but since I've been dating a woman for about 8 months, the topic has been pondered about some. When reading or hearing others discuss this very issue, I often times hear comments similar to the following: "It's human nature to look." "There's nothing wrong with checking others out. I'm sure he/she does it too!" "It's fine to do it. Just don't tell your boyfriend/girlfriend about it or do it in front of them!" "It's natural to find people attractive." When observing the array of comments, I i...