The linguistic acrobatics of Donald Trump and those who work with or for him are quite amazing. I suppose they would have to be since the man appears to be unable of admitting a mistake, all the while lying approximately 69% of the time, according to Pulitzer Prize-winning fact-checker Politifact.com.
When Trump made claims that the size of his inauguration crowd was larger than that of Obama's, Kellyanne Conway called it an "alternative fact."
More recently, after the president admitted that he was under investigation in a tweet, one of his lawyer's came out and said that he wasn't under investigation. Ms. Conway added to this, suggesting that Trump was merely trying to place a spotlight on irony with his tweet.
In many other such scenarios, Trump or his spokespeople have excused the president, suggesting he was just being sarcastic, not to take his tweets seriously, that he was being taken out of context, or how he was interpreted didn't match his intent.
Hell, if we go back even further, after months of claiming then President Barack Obama's birth certificate wasn't authentic and his claim being debunked numerous times by reputable fact-checkers, instead of finally admitting he was wrong about his birther theory, Trump took credit for Obama's real birth certificate coming forward.
Given all this, expect the the following conversation to occur at some point during the Trump presidency:
Reporter: "Trump tweeted earlier that the Nile was a river in Mississippi. He does realize the river isn't even in North America, let alone Mississippi, right?"
Kellyanne Conway: "You misunderstood him. He was just giving alternative geography. Next question."
Reporter: "When the president tweeted the other day that he wouldn't mind fingering Jennifer Lopez, what did he mean? Was he being as perverted as he came across?"
Conway: "No, of course not. He was just saying that he's a big fan of J-Lo. He thinks she's #1, you know, fingering her."
Reporter: "What on earth was President Trump thinking when he said Mexicans are only good for making tacos?"
Conway: "He was speaking metaphorically. Tacos can mean anything. They can symbolize houses, lives, dreams, anything. When I was growing up and asked what I wanted to be when I became an adult, I simply held up a taco. True story."
Reporter: "Okay, I want to get this right, but at 3:33 in the morning a couple of days ago, Donald Trump tweeted, 'I'm the smartest fajoudem like ever!" What is 'fajoudem'?"
Conway: "If you don't know, I can't tell you. You have to discover it yourself. The truth is we're all fajoudems. Donald Trump is just the smartest one. Next..."
Reporter: "Just yesterday, Trump spoke at a mosque and said, 'I'm going to kill every Muslim in the world, bigly, and literally!' He..."
Conway: "I'm going to cut you off right there. The president has received a lot of backlash for that comment, but he was taken out of context and what he said shouldn't be taken literally. I think anyone with half a brain knows that, when Donald Trump says 'literally,' he really means, you know, not that. He just simply means he'll tweet to Muslims on Twitter and say something like, 'SAD!' and that's it. It's really not that big a deal."
Reporter: "TMZ just posted video of Donald Trump recently making out with a woman who wasn't his wife. What's the story there?"
Conway: "Look, here's how that went down. A supermodel told the president she bets she's a better kisser than Melania, so the president told his wife about this, she told him to make out with the model to prove her wrong, and that's the end of the story."
Reporter: "Donald Trump claimed that the 11th Commandment in the Bible is 'Thou shalt not do Obamacare.' He realizes that's factually incorrect, right?"
Conway: "The 1st Amendment of the U.S. Constitution permits him to hold an opinion about the Bible. Period!"
Reporter: "Why did the president start feeling Russia on the map while saying, 'I want to grab you by the p*ssy'?"
Conway: "You misheard him. He said, 'Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, bigly Russia has to go.'"
Reporter: "While standing behind Miss Universe, the president made a hole with his left hand, and kept inserting two fingers from his right hand in and out of it, while nodding toward her, and making a humping motion in her direction. Would you care to explain his inappropriate behavior and apologize on his behalf?"
Conway: "There is nothing to apologize for. The president has almost perfect health, but his one defect is what his doctors call BPS or Bigly Pelvic Spasms. It's not something to joke around about. He was also using sign language to say that words were about to emanate from the woman's mouth. Okay, I've got time for one more question."
Reporter: "This month's jobs report shows 85,000 jobs were created. After the report's release, the president stated that 5 million jobs were created. Why tell such an egregious lie?"
Conway: "That wasn't a lie. It was a false truth."
When Trump made claims that the size of his inauguration crowd was larger than that of Obama's, Kellyanne Conway called it an "alternative fact."
More recently, after the president admitted that he was under investigation in a tweet, one of his lawyer's came out and said that he wasn't under investigation. Ms. Conway added to this, suggesting that Trump was merely trying to place a spotlight on irony with his tweet.
In many other such scenarios, Trump or his spokespeople have excused the president, suggesting he was just being sarcastic, not to take his tweets seriously, that he was being taken out of context, or how he was interpreted didn't match his intent.
Hell, if we go back even further, after months of claiming then President Barack Obama's birth certificate wasn't authentic and his claim being debunked numerous times by reputable fact-checkers, instead of finally admitting he was wrong about his birther theory, Trump took credit for Obama's real birth certificate coming forward.
Given all this, expect the the following conversation to occur at some point during the Trump presidency:
Reporter: "Trump tweeted earlier that the Nile was a river in Mississippi. He does realize the river isn't even in North America, let alone Mississippi, right?"
Kellyanne Conway: "You misunderstood him. He was just giving alternative geography. Next question."
Reporter: "When the president tweeted the other day that he wouldn't mind fingering Jennifer Lopez, what did he mean? Was he being as perverted as he came across?"
Conway: "No, of course not. He was just saying that he's a big fan of J-Lo. He thinks she's #1, you know, fingering her."
Reporter: "What on earth was President Trump thinking when he said Mexicans are only good for making tacos?"
Conway: "He was speaking metaphorically. Tacos can mean anything. They can symbolize houses, lives, dreams, anything. When I was growing up and asked what I wanted to be when I became an adult, I simply held up a taco. True story."
Reporter: "Okay, I want to get this right, but at 3:33 in the morning a couple of days ago, Donald Trump tweeted, 'I'm the smartest fajoudem like ever!" What is 'fajoudem'?"
Conway: "If you don't know, I can't tell you. You have to discover it yourself. The truth is we're all fajoudems. Donald Trump is just the smartest one. Next..."
Reporter: "Just yesterday, Trump spoke at a mosque and said, 'I'm going to kill every Muslim in the world, bigly, and literally!' He..."
Conway: "I'm going to cut you off right there. The president has received a lot of backlash for that comment, but he was taken out of context and what he said shouldn't be taken literally. I think anyone with half a brain knows that, when Donald Trump says 'literally,' he really means, you know, not that. He just simply means he'll tweet to Muslims on Twitter and say something like, 'SAD!' and that's it. It's really not that big a deal."
Reporter: "TMZ just posted video of Donald Trump recently making out with a woman who wasn't his wife. What's the story there?"
Conway: "Look, here's how that went down. A supermodel told the president she bets she's a better kisser than Melania, so the president told his wife about this, she told him to make out with the model to prove her wrong, and that's the end of the story."
Reporter: "Donald Trump claimed that the 11th Commandment in the Bible is 'Thou shalt not do Obamacare.' He realizes that's factually incorrect, right?"
Conway: "The 1st Amendment of the U.S. Constitution permits him to hold an opinion about the Bible. Period!"
Reporter: "Why did the president start feeling Russia on the map while saying, 'I want to grab you by the p*ssy'?"
Conway: "You misheard him. He said, 'Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, bigly Russia has to go.'"
Reporter: "While standing behind Miss Universe, the president made a hole with his left hand, and kept inserting two fingers from his right hand in and out of it, while nodding toward her, and making a humping motion in her direction. Would you care to explain his inappropriate behavior and apologize on his behalf?"
Conway: "There is nothing to apologize for. The president has almost perfect health, but his one defect is what his doctors call BPS or Bigly Pelvic Spasms. It's not something to joke around about. He was also using sign language to say that words were about to emanate from the woman's mouth. Okay, I've got time for one more question."
Reporter: "This month's jobs report shows 85,000 jobs were created. After the report's release, the president stated that 5 million jobs were created. Why tell such an egregious lie?"
Conway: "That wasn't a lie. It was a false truth."
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