Skip to main content

Trump breaks the world record for signed blank pieces of paper

In what he's hailing as his signature achievement, President Donald Trump just broke the world record for signing the most blank pieces of paper in one sitting.

To celebrate his accomplishment, while standing under a "Mission Accomplished Big League" banner, Donald Trump relayed the following message:

"My fellow Americans, what I did today was kind of a big deal. I can't describe just how big it is. Did you ever catch a big, like a really big fish? This is even bigger than that, believe me! I just broke a world record today, which means I did something more than anyone else did something, so that's something right there! This just goes to show all the doubters out there that, when I put my mind to something, I can accomplish anything! I was in the zone today, folks. Just one blank piece of paper after another, and boom, boom, boom, signed, done. My hand has never been that busy before, and it's been pretty busy. Just ask Access Hollywood. Anyway, this is just the start. My name on blank pieces of paper is how we make America great again!"

In response to this speech, Dictionary.com has added a picture of Trump next to the term blank.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun...

Face guarding is legal in college football and the NFL

I just wanted to remind fans and announcers especially, that face guarding is legal in both college football and the NFL. It all comes down to contact. So long as a defender doesn't make contact with an intended receiver, he doesn't have to turn around to play the ball. I can't tell you how many times every week I hear announcers talk about face guarding being a penalty. It's not. I even heard one announcer yesterday state, "If the defender doesn't turn around and play the ball, the ref will call pass interference every time." That's simply not true. Courtesy of referee Bill LeMonnier, he says this with regard to the rule at the college level (answered on 8/12/13): "NCAA rules on pass interference require the face guarding to have contact to be a foul. No contact, no foul by NCAA rules." In the NFL rule book, this is written:  "Actions that constitute defensive pass interference include but are not limited to: (a) Contact by a ...

Mentioned on Crooks and Liars and Hinterland Gazette!

Due to some tweets of mine, I got mentioned on the following two sites (all my tweets can be viewed here -  https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki ): https://crooksandliars.com/2019/04/trump-gives-stupid-advice-george https://hinterlandgazette.com/2019/03/istandwithschiff-is-trending-after-donald-trump-led-gop-attack-on-adam-schiff-backfires-spectacularly.html