I had some fun with (mostly trending) hashtags on Twitter over the past week. Here are my posts, ordered from the most popular to the least popular (all my tweets can be seen here - https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki):
1) Trump: "Some of these Russian bots are very fine people, believe me."
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
167 Likes, 39 Retweets
2) What's the difference between Dinesh D'Souza and the Tin Man?
The Tin Man at least wants a heart.
#GunReformNow #FloridaShooting
142 Likes, 46 Retweets
3) Dear The Donald:
Feeling the constant need to insult those who criticize you isn't a sign they're insecure. It's a sign you are. "Bigly."
#Oprah
138 Likes, 33 Retweets
4) #TwitterLockOut: The time when fake patriots complained about losing fake followers, claiming it was a conspiracy against a fake president, and it wasn't fake news.
115 Likes, 44 Retweets
5) The con artist formerly known as Drumpf
#ThingsIdLikeToSeeImpeached
100 Likes, 36 Retweets
6) I'm suddenly envisioning Trump in a twisted version of a Dos Equis commercial:
"He stands on a ladder when being introduced to a baby. He stuffs a watermelon down his pants on first dates. He pays blind people to call him sexy. He is the most insecure man in the world."
#Oprah
100 Likes, 28 Retweets
7) Donald Trump calling someone else insecure is like a nymphomaniac fly named Herpes calling another dirty.
#Oprah
85 Likes, 25 Retweets
8) "Are you a good Christian who has or hasn't banged a porn star while married to someone else?"
#MAGADatingSite
80 Likes, 27 Retweets
9) Trump: "I dated a Russian bot once. Her name was Covfefe. She's no longer a 10, though, believe me."
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
73 Likes, 15 Retweets
10) Trump: "How do we know these Russian bots are Russian? They could be Jinese, a 400-lb. guy in his basement, or Nambians."
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
76 Likes, 11 Retweets
11) Trump: "The smartest Russian bots in the world went to Trump University. That I can tell you. That I can tell you."
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
70 Likes, 16 Retwetes
12) No, the count is more like this:
Killed annually by guns
Adults 31,390; Kids 2,555
#GunReformNow #FloridaShooting
57 Likes, 28 Retweets
12) Trump: "We lost a lot of good bots out there today."
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
71 Likes, 14 Retweets
14) Pence: "I don't trust myself alone with a Russian bot."
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
50 Likes, 9 Retweets
15) Sessions: "Were these Russian bots that just got banned from Twitter in fact Russian bots that got banned from Twitter? I do not recall."
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
35 Likes, 9 Retweets
16) Remember when that uber-confident guy always talked about the size of his hands and penis; bragged about all the women he screwed; and had a knack for calling other men "little"? Me neither.
#Oprah
35 Likes, 8 Retweets
17) The definition of 'irony': On the week of #PresidentsDay, conservatives/Republicans took to Twitter to complain about the purge of Russian bots which helped their candidate win a presidential election, standing by his campaign slogan of "Make America Great Again."
#TwitterLockOut
28 Likes, 14 Retweets
18) Trump: "These bots were heroes because they were banned. I prefer my Russian bots to not be banned, okay?"
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
31 Likes, 4 Retweets
19) Trump: "When it comes to marriage equality and all that, it's like I've always said, one man, one Russian bot. Period."
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
26 Likes, 7 Retweets
20) Trump: "I will not be building a wall to block Russian bots, but I'm still gonna make the Mexicans pay for it, believe me."
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
26 Likes, 4 Retweets
20) Palin: "I can see Russian bots from my own house! You betcha!"
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
28 Likes, 2 Retweets
22) Trump: "When you're a star, Russian bots will let you do anything - grab 'em by the pu*sy, anything."
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
23 Likes, 4 Retweets
23) "Occupation: You've built everything you've touched; you're filling this out from a cardboard box behind a Waffle House; or you've done what all kids have done while growing up and accepted a tiny $1 million loan from your father?"
#MAGADatingSite
18 Likes, 8 Retweets
24) Trump: "If my daughter Ivanka were a Russian bot, perhaps I'd be dating her."
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
22 Likes, 1 Retweet
25) Trump: "A Russian bot would never kneel during our National Anthem song thing. I'm just sayin'. I'm just sayin'."
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
20 Likes, 2 Retweets
26) Trump: "Look very carefully. This authentic Obama birth certificate is a phony, but over here, this Russian bot birth certificate is real. Just look at it with all that metal and stuff. So real."
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
17 Likes, 4 Retweets
27) Trump: "Russian bots, sh*tholes, covfefe, Nambia, porn stars named after weather patterns. Make America Great Again!"
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
18 Likes, 2 Retweets
28) It's about time Dinesh D'Souza got a heart and a brain...
#GunReformNow #FloridaShooting
17 Likes, 2 Retweets
29) Trump: "Just like with words, I know bots; I have the best Russian bots, believe me!"
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
17 Likes, 1 Retweet
30) "Edjewkayshun: I can say my A, B, D's; I went to Pennsylvania once; I can memorize eating pi; or three words - Trump University?"
#MAGADatingSite
14 Likes, 2 Retweets
30) Trump: "I know more about botting than the Russian bots do, believe me."
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
15 Likes, 1 Retweet
30) Romney: "Russian bots are people, my friend."
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
16 Likes, 0 Retweets
30) Perry: "If I were to spell 'bot,' I'd use three letters: 'b,' 'o,' and mm, I forget that third one. Oops."
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
16 Likes, 0 Retweets
34) Trump: "Obamacare is a disaster, folks. We need to repeal it now, bigly, because it's destroying the Russian bot community."
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
13 Likes, 1 Retweet
35) "Race: What is the likelihood you'll have to one day climb Trump's big beautiful wall to see me? My name is Javier, so take a wild guess; my profession is wall-climbing; or I'm white, you idiot?"
#MAGADatingSite
8 Likes, 2 Retweets
36) "Appearance: Are you a 10? Heidi Klum in her prime; Heidi Klum now; Carly Fiorina's 'persona;' or all of the above?"
#MAGADatingSite
6 Likes, 3 Retweets
37) Trump: "Russian bots are not Russian or bots. That's just fake news!"
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
7 Likes, 1 Retweet
Totals: 1,784 Likes, 453 Retweets (Averages of 48.2 Likes, 12.2 Retweets)
1) Trump: "Some of these Russian bots are very fine people, believe me."
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
167 Likes, 39 Retweets
2) What's the difference between Dinesh D'Souza and the Tin Man?
The Tin Man at least wants a heart.
#GunReformNow #FloridaShooting
142 Likes, 46 Retweets
3) Dear The Donald:
Feeling the constant need to insult those who criticize you isn't a sign they're insecure. It's a sign you are. "Bigly."
#Oprah
138 Likes, 33 Retweets
4) #TwitterLockOut: The time when fake patriots complained about losing fake followers, claiming it was a conspiracy against a fake president, and it wasn't fake news.
115 Likes, 44 Retweets
5) The con artist formerly known as Drumpf
#ThingsIdLikeToSeeImpeached
100 Likes, 36 Retweets
6) I'm suddenly envisioning Trump in a twisted version of a Dos Equis commercial:
"He stands on a ladder when being introduced to a baby. He stuffs a watermelon down his pants on first dates. He pays blind people to call him sexy. He is the most insecure man in the world."
#Oprah
100 Likes, 28 Retweets
7) Donald Trump calling someone else insecure is like a nymphomaniac fly named Herpes calling another dirty.
#Oprah
85 Likes, 25 Retweets
8) "Are you a good Christian who has or hasn't banged a porn star while married to someone else?"
#MAGADatingSite
80 Likes, 27 Retweets
9) Trump: "I dated a Russian bot once. Her name was Covfefe. She's no longer a 10, though, believe me."
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
73 Likes, 15 Retweets
10) Trump: "How do we know these Russian bots are Russian? They could be Jinese, a 400-lb. guy in his basement, or Nambians."
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
76 Likes, 11 Retweets
11) Trump: "The smartest Russian bots in the world went to Trump University. That I can tell you. That I can tell you."
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
70 Likes, 16 Retwetes
12) No, the count is more like this:
Killed annually by guns
Adults 31,390; Kids 2,555
#GunReformNow #FloridaShooting
57 Likes, 28 Retweets
12) Trump: "We lost a lot of good bots out there today."
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
71 Likes, 14 Retweets
14) Pence: "I don't trust myself alone with a Russian bot."
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
50 Likes, 9 Retweets
15) Sessions: "Were these Russian bots that just got banned from Twitter in fact Russian bots that got banned from Twitter? I do not recall."
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
35 Likes, 9 Retweets
16) Remember when that uber-confident guy always talked about the size of his hands and penis; bragged about all the women he screwed; and had a knack for calling other men "little"? Me neither.
#Oprah
35 Likes, 8 Retweets
17) The definition of 'irony': On the week of #PresidentsDay, conservatives/Republicans took to Twitter to complain about the purge of Russian bots which helped their candidate win a presidential election, standing by his campaign slogan of "Make America Great Again."
#TwitterLockOut
28 Likes, 14 Retweets
18) Trump: "These bots were heroes because they were banned. I prefer my Russian bots to not be banned, okay?"
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
31 Likes, 4 Retweets
19) Trump: "When it comes to marriage equality and all that, it's like I've always said, one man, one Russian bot. Period."
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
26 Likes, 7 Retweets
20) Trump: "I will not be building a wall to block Russian bots, but I'm still gonna make the Mexicans pay for it, believe me."
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
26 Likes, 4 Retweets
20) Palin: "I can see Russian bots from my own house! You betcha!"
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
28 Likes, 2 Retweets
22) Trump: "When you're a star, Russian bots will let you do anything - grab 'em by the pu*sy, anything."
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
23 Likes, 4 Retweets
23) "Occupation: You've built everything you've touched; you're filling this out from a cardboard box behind a Waffle House; or you've done what all kids have done while growing up and accepted a tiny $1 million loan from your father?"
#MAGADatingSite
18 Likes, 8 Retweets
24) Trump: "If my daughter Ivanka were a Russian bot, perhaps I'd be dating her."
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
22 Likes, 1 Retweet
25) Trump: "A Russian bot would never kneel during our National Anthem song thing. I'm just sayin'. I'm just sayin'."
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
20 Likes, 2 Retweets
26) Trump: "Look very carefully. This authentic Obama birth certificate is a phony, but over here, this Russian bot birth certificate is real. Just look at it with all that metal and stuff. So real."
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
17 Likes, 4 Retweets
27) Trump: "Russian bots, sh*tholes, covfefe, Nambia, porn stars named after weather patterns. Make America Great Again!"
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
18 Likes, 2 Retweets
28) It's about time Dinesh D'Souza got a heart and a brain...
#GunReformNow #FloridaShooting
17 Likes, 2 Retweets
29) Trump: "Just like with words, I know bots; I have the best Russian bots, believe me!"
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
17 Likes, 1 Retweet
30) "Edjewkayshun: I can say my A, B, D's; I went to Pennsylvania once; I can memorize eating pi; or three words - Trump University?"
#MAGADatingSite
14 Likes, 2 Retweets
30) Trump: "I know more about botting than the Russian bots do, believe me."
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
15 Likes, 1 Retweet
30) Romney: "Russian bots are people, my friend."
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
16 Likes, 0 Retweets
30) Perry: "If I were to spell 'bot,' I'd use three letters: 'b,' 'o,' and mm, I forget that third one. Oops."
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
16 Likes, 0 Retweets
34) Trump: "Obamacare is a disaster, folks. We need to repeal it now, bigly, because it's destroying the Russian bot community."
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
13 Likes, 1 Retweet
35) "Race: What is the likelihood you'll have to one day climb Trump's big beautiful wall to see me? My name is Javier, so take a wild guess; my profession is wall-climbing; or I'm white, you idiot?"
#MAGADatingSite
8 Likes, 2 Retweets
36) "Appearance: Are you a 10? Heidi Klum in her prime; Heidi Klum now; Carly Fiorina's 'persona;' or all of the above?"
#MAGADatingSite
6 Likes, 3 Retweets
37) Trump: "Russian bots are not Russian or bots. That's just fake news!"
#TwitterLockOut #Snark
7 Likes, 1 Retweet
Totals: 1,784 Likes, 453 Retweets (Averages of 48.2 Likes, 12.2 Retweets)
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