Transcript for Podcast: "I Feel Snitty," Episode 127: “Trickin’ Boomers” (parody based on the Biz Markie song, “Pickin’ Boogers”) now available!
Podcast: I Feel Snitty
Episode 127: “Trickin’ Boomers” (parody based on the Biz Markie song, “Pickin’ Boogers”)
Premiere Date: 3/12/21
Length: 4:33 (670 words)
Transcript:
You may be a bit older, but you’re still workin’
The GOP is here for ya
We’ll help you retire
That’s what we call it when you’re six feet under
Taxes will trickle down before you’re eighty – we’re trickin’ boomers
Workin’ the nine to five, livin’ paycheck to paycheck
Ship jobs overseas for America
We’ll downsize bigly just for your benefit
Trust us with the one percent tax cuts
Whether you are born with money or you are not
We’ll make sure you get a shot – so long as you’re white
Having a millionaire father couldn’t hurt, though
Actually, we’d highly suggest you do so
All the hand-me-downs from white father to white son
That’s how your hard work outta be done
Hey, you can do it too
Just work hard; never complain; and never sue
Trickin’ boomers
Trickin’ boomers
Trickin’ boomers
Trickin’ boomers
That’s not the lone reason you should vote for us
Now, we are not trying to be racist here
But that one black guy is lazy, so they all are
Hispanics can’t speak no proper English either
Them stupid Asians? Go back to Chinatown
Tokyo, China
Again, we’re not racist, so what we’re ‘bout to say can’t be racist
We promise to only take care of you – our white friends
No one else out there matters – even Ben Carson
We’ll lock up the blacks for merely jaywalking
Watching them so close – like Key and Peele’s official
We’ll build a wall to keep out the Juans and Joses
If they work cheap, though, they can build the wall themselves
If you’re made in China, you aren’t American
That’s why we’ve got nothin’ here that was made there
We’ll ban Muslims from entering this great country
Because, as the Constitution says, we’re all free
See? We’re just looking out for your best interests
Pointing out squirrels as we scam you out of millions
Getting you to blame the middle class, blame the poor
As we ride in our nine yachts and yell, “Four more!”
Trickin’ boomers
Trickin’ boomers
Trickin’ boomers
Trickin’ boomers
Ha!
Let’s lighten the mood and talk about the gays
They can marry? What’s next, men and blue jays?
What would be the point in that, since windmills kill birds?
See? This is how you know global warming isn’t real
Where were we? Birds, windmills, weather? Oh, gays
Homosapiens are abominations
Marriages will never be sacred again
Not even drunk marriages in Vegas
It’s all in the Bible – in Two Corinthians
It says, “Jesus loves all the little children”
“All the children of the world – ‘spec’ly you, you, and you”
“The exception: liking dicks and being a dude”
What are we s’pposed to do now?
Marry eleven or twelve ladies like Mormons?
This whole equality thing – it is just not fair
What in the world will these people think of next, equal pay?
We vow to save marriage right now
To make all your broken marriages seem special
It’s Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve
Being married to Melanie, sleeping with Stormy
Trickin’ boomers
Trickin’ boomers
Trickin’ boomers
Trickin’ boomers
So, now it’s time to get all religious and sh*t
The Democrats’ War on Christmas - that was just the start
They want to take God out of everything – even K-Mart
Jesus’s fake birthday was December 25th
Everyone, their mother Mary know this
Hippy Jesus – the ultimate capitalist
Always decked out in robes, sandals, and sh*t
He talked ‘bout giving to the poor, poorer, poorest
Which is why he always fought for tax cuts for the wealthiest
Money trickles down like bread, fish from Jesus
When on the cross, he talked ‘bout Reaganomics
JC may have been Jewish, but he was Christian just like us
Found the NRA, wrote the Second Amendment
He’s the perfect man, kinda like Donald J. Trump
They have much in common; gave it all up; sacrificed themselves
Yeah, we read the Bible, ev’ry day – that should be obvious
We hope you don’t, for we’re trickin’ boomers – Satan please help us
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