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Swingers' Central

I'm not certain why I haven't written about this crazy story yet. Perhaps I've been attempting to block it out or something to that extent. In any case, after this weekend, I feel the need to finally come forward with it.

So, about 4-5 weeks ago, I was at a pub and bumped into a married couple whom I had spoken with before. The husband seemed pretty nice and laid back. His wife appeared kind and even somewhat quiet at first, but then she got to drinking and become a little reckless. So, 4-5 weeks ago when I saw them, this woman apologized to me profusely, saying she wasn't usually like that, was a good person and is sorry if she ever offended me. She didn't seem to be drinking a whole lot that evening and didn't utter any perverse lines to me. She, her husband and I did a shot, played some music on the jukebox, joked around and after paying our tabs were about to head our separate ways when the guy asked if I'd like to come over for another drink. I was quite hesitant at first and asked how far away they lived. They responded by saying it wasn't very far at all and I mentioned I'd only be around for a short duration of time, but would stop by for a little bit.

When we arrived, we all went into the kitchen, where the husband poured us all a drink. His wife then started whispering something in his ear and I immediately became uncomfortable. He remained silent and getting agitated as she was, his wife began to raise her voice a bit, to the point where I could hear what she was saying - "Come on. That's why we brought him here in the first place. Let me do it!"

At that point, I felt EXTREMELY uncomfortable. This woman then came up behind me and started rubbing my shoulders right in front of her husband and I said, "Eh, what's going on here?"

Her husband then went into the next room to watch television and let his wife do the persuading. She came right up to me and said, "Okay. Here's the deal. We're going to go up to my room and f**k."

At that point, silence filled the room, before I said, "Eh, what? You're married and..."

Before I could finish, she cut me off and said, "Oh, don't worry. My husband wants us to. He wants to watch and tape us."

An even louder silence filled the room at the mention of this and I said, "That's not going to happen," to which she replied with, "Well, he doesn't have to tape us or even watch."

This cycle continued for a while until I finally said, "You know what? I'm just going to go" and I did. I wasn't sure where exactly I was, but would rather have been lost on the road somewhere near home than stay with that couple for even a minute longer.

When I spoke about it with some people at the bar, some of them said that there was a swinging community in the area and wouldn't be at all surprised if the before-mentioned couple was part of that.

For 4-5 weeks, this couple didn't enter the bar, until Friday night. The man seemed in a very good mood, said hi and seemed to pretend that nothing strange had happened previously. His wife sat right next to me, kept apologizing. Her eyes got watery and she repeated the same lines she had to be prior, that she's not usually like that, is a good person, etc.

She continued with this routine until she had a few drinks and her naughty side came out once again. Her husband was a few seats away and this woman kept asking if I wanted to engage in the horizontal mambo with her. I kept telling her no. She kept asking me why not and I'd simply say, "You're married with kids. I'm not going to be a home-wrecker. What you and your husband are into is fine. Whatever makes the two of you happy, but I'm not going to be a part of that."

She'd then ask me if I would sleep with her if she were single and I said, "That's hypothetical and pointless to answer. You are married. End of discussion."

At one point, after I rejected on having sex with her I don't know how many times, she asked if I'd just touch her. I was floored by this comment and asked, "What?"

She responded with, "Do you want to just reach down my pants and touch me right now? Please?"

I almost had to laugh. Really? At a public place? Right out in front? With her husband a few seats over and the two bar owners not far away? Eh, no. I wouldn't even if the two of us were alone, but in those circumstances? I found the question to be kind of comical.

The breaking point was when she asked if I had wanted to sleep with her husband and not her, before asking me, "If you were straight, would you want to f**k me?"

That was the time when I buried my face in my arms, shook my head from side to side, laughed and asked the bartenders to cash me out, because I had to get going.

Ah, quite the story, isn't it? I sometimes don't believe it actually happened. I mean, how could it, right? Geez... Sometimes I wonder if awkward situations follow me around to give me good writing material. That's what I've tried convincing myself of anyway. Denial - gotta love it!

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