I really don't want to jinx the early spring-like weather we're having across the country, but based on the fact the next week and a half here in central Ohio is supposed to be in the 50s and 60s, I'd like to believe that spring is here and the groundhog was wrong yet again.
As a child, I didn't really think a great deal about holiday traditions. However, the older I get, while I love spending time with family, friends, and loved ones over the major holidays, the more I think about some of these traditions, the more I have to roll my eyes, and mumble to myself, "Wow, we've really celebrated that for all these years?"
On Christmas, we celebrate Jesus' birthday by placing a bunch of wrapped gifts under a tree and exchanging them while listening to music about a big jolly old man named Santa Claus and his reindeer, even though Jesus wasn't actually born on December 25th. On Easter, we celebrate Jesus' supposed rise from the dead by filling baskets with candy and placing colored eggs in the yard for people to find. We also have holidays where we find an excuse to gain 10 lbs. by pigging out on food all day (Thanksgiving), dress in green and drink green beer and Irish whiskey (St. Patrick's Day), and dress up in costumes and knock on doors asking for candy (Halloween). Perhaps the silliest so-called holiday of all, though, is Groundhog Day, where we all gather around and ask a groundhog to predict whether or not it will be an early spring. If he doesn't see his shadow, there will be an early spring. However, if he does see his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter. This year, Punxsutawney Phil did see his shadow, but as usual, he appears to have been wrong, with winter ending two weeks earlier than anticipated. Excluding this early spring, the groundhog was accurate in his predictions just 39% of the time. So, yeah, if one were to just go by the opposite of Punxsutawney Phil's predictions, they'd be accurate approximately 61% of the time. Perhaps from this point forward, whatever Phil predicts, we should figure there's over a 3 in 5 chance that the opposite prediction is true.
Given the silly and ridiculous nature of Groundhog Day, might I suggest we start new holidays with the following traditions:
- In election years, a week before the actual election, we hold a nationally televised fight between an elephant and a donkey. If the elephant wins, the Republican candidate will likely win the election. However, if the donkey wins, the Democratic candidate will likely be the victor. Yes, PETA will love this one.
- Once a week, a high psychic will predict the winning lottery numbers on TMZ.
- On St. Patrick's Day every year, a drunken leprechaun tarot card reader will hold a one-hour special on ESPN where he fills out his March Madness bracket.
- On New Year's Eve, if a sloth runs the 40-yard dash in under 5 seconds, Ryan Seacrest will make out with Carson Daly and Armageddon will be upon us.
- On multiple occasions all throughout the day on a daily basis, people will draw random numbers out of a hat and give weather forecasts based on these very numbers. Actually, that might already be the case...
http://www.punxsutawney.info/
As a child, I didn't really think a great deal about holiday traditions. However, the older I get, while I love spending time with family, friends, and loved ones over the major holidays, the more I think about some of these traditions, the more I have to roll my eyes, and mumble to myself, "Wow, we've really celebrated that for all these years?"
On Christmas, we celebrate Jesus' birthday by placing a bunch of wrapped gifts under a tree and exchanging them while listening to music about a big jolly old man named Santa Claus and his reindeer, even though Jesus wasn't actually born on December 25th. On Easter, we celebrate Jesus' supposed rise from the dead by filling baskets with candy and placing colored eggs in the yard for people to find. We also have holidays where we find an excuse to gain 10 lbs. by pigging out on food all day (Thanksgiving), dress in green and drink green beer and Irish whiskey (St. Patrick's Day), and dress up in costumes and knock on doors asking for candy (Halloween). Perhaps the silliest so-called holiday of all, though, is Groundhog Day, where we all gather around and ask a groundhog to predict whether or not it will be an early spring. If he doesn't see his shadow, there will be an early spring. However, if he does see his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter. This year, Punxsutawney Phil did see his shadow, but as usual, he appears to have been wrong, with winter ending two weeks earlier than anticipated. Excluding this early spring, the groundhog was accurate in his predictions just 39% of the time. So, yeah, if one were to just go by the opposite of Punxsutawney Phil's predictions, they'd be accurate approximately 61% of the time. Perhaps from this point forward, whatever Phil predicts, we should figure there's over a 3 in 5 chance that the opposite prediction is true.
Given the silly and ridiculous nature of Groundhog Day, might I suggest we start new holidays with the following traditions:
- In election years, a week before the actual election, we hold a nationally televised fight between an elephant and a donkey. If the elephant wins, the Republican candidate will likely win the election. However, if the donkey wins, the Democratic candidate will likely be the victor. Yes, PETA will love this one.
- Once a week, a high psychic will predict the winning lottery numbers on TMZ.
- On St. Patrick's Day every year, a drunken leprechaun tarot card reader will hold a one-hour special on ESPN where he fills out his March Madness bracket.
- On New Year's Eve, if a sloth runs the 40-yard dash in under 5 seconds, Ryan Seacrest will make out with Carson Daly and Armageddon will be upon us.
- On multiple occasions all throughout the day on a daily basis, people will draw random numbers out of a hat and give weather forecasts based on these very numbers. Actually, that might already be the case...
http://www.punxsutawney.info/
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