I know people mean well when they can't think of anything else to say other than an old cliche they've heard since the time they were a fetus and their mother was listening to a radio show called, Dr. Coach: The Wisdom From An Ex-Football Coach That Became A Shrink. However, as I've mentioned in posts prior, when people tell me, "Everything happens for a reason" or "God has a plan," I then become at a loss for words. I kind of slowly nod my head, as I bite my tongue, and think to myself, "Really? Want to inform me about the reason for the Holocaust, child abuse, poverty? How was it all part of 'God's' plan?" I know people mean well when they say such things, but the phrases still irritate me, because when I hear such comments, to me it comes across as though the person wasn't actually listening to my specific story, that they don't truly know me, and that they didn't genuinely think about what they said before they said it.
Another couple of phrases I've heard a great deal of late which irritate me less than the two before-mentioned ones, but irritate me nonetheless, are, "God is so good" and "Another prayer has been answered."
Granted, I'm not a religious individual. If I had to label myself, it'd be as an agnostic or a humanist, but with a lean more toward the atheist than the theist side of the spectrum. I suppose I'd like to believe in a paradise (heaven) after death, of something greater than this world and life, but I often times have trouble believing such a thing. However, even with that and the fact some studies have suggested that people whom are sick and get prayed for have a better chance of survival than those whom don't get prayed for, whenever someone says, "Another prayer has been answered," I immediately think, "Well, that's kind of insensitive. What about all of the prayers that weren't answered? The child in the hospital after being struck by a car? The middle-aged man that gets a sudden stroke or heart attack? The mother who has health complications following the birth of her child?" Also, since so many prayers go unanswered, I have a hard time believing the prayers themselves actually work. I believe it has more to do with the ill individual being fully cognizant that people love him/her and are thinking about them, hoping they get over the obstacle on their way to a full recovery. If a person has nobody in their life whom cares for them at all, I have a hunch they'd be much more prone to giving up without much of a fight. However, if friends, family, and loved ones are constantly at a person's side while they're struggling in a hospital bed, I have to believe that person will often times feel more motivation to fight and get through the ordeal, which would lead to better survival rates.
The "God is so good" line bothers me more than the previously mentioned phrase, especially when the word "always" is included. Again, people can believe what they want, but I can all but guarantee when one person is overjoyed by "God's" blessings with the positive result of a particular situation, another person is saddened by the polar opposite result in a similar situation, and probably isn't thinking "God is (always) so good." Again, I guess I just see this phrase as insensitive, even though I know that's not the person's intention.
The reason these two phrases irritate me so much is because they come across as narcissistic and insensitive, which is odd when thinking about the concept of God and religion in general. When it comes to supposed die-hard believers, they tend to believe in one almighty being (God) there watching out for everyone. This being is supposedly omnipotent, omniscient, and benevolent, and he/she/it is greater than this world, this life, and in particular, each individual person (or family). So why is it that so many people believe God seems to be only watching out for them and not others? Why do they outwardly express that God is so good to them when that doesn't appear to be the case with many others?
Maybe it's because many people truly want to believe they're one of God's "chosen ones." People want to feel special, like a higher power is watching out for them and always has their back. While this outlook may result in less worry and stress during difficult times, when such sentiments are expressed outwardly, they come across as narcissistic and insensitive. Yes, we should all be grateful for many things in our lives, yet that doesn't warrant us the right to believe we're one of "God's" privileged few and express that belief to many others, especially those whom have recently been struck by tragedy or heartache.
Another couple of phrases I've heard a great deal of late which irritate me less than the two before-mentioned ones, but irritate me nonetheless, are, "God is so good" and "Another prayer has been answered."
Granted, I'm not a religious individual. If I had to label myself, it'd be as an agnostic or a humanist, but with a lean more toward the atheist than the theist side of the spectrum. I suppose I'd like to believe in a paradise (heaven) after death, of something greater than this world and life, but I often times have trouble believing such a thing. However, even with that and the fact some studies have suggested that people whom are sick and get prayed for have a better chance of survival than those whom don't get prayed for, whenever someone says, "Another prayer has been answered," I immediately think, "Well, that's kind of insensitive. What about all of the prayers that weren't answered? The child in the hospital after being struck by a car? The middle-aged man that gets a sudden stroke or heart attack? The mother who has health complications following the birth of her child?" Also, since so many prayers go unanswered, I have a hard time believing the prayers themselves actually work. I believe it has more to do with the ill individual being fully cognizant that people love him/her and are thinking about them, hoping they get over the obstacle on their way to a full recovery. If a person has nobody in their life whom cares for them at all, I have a hunch they'd be much more prone to giving up without much of a fight. However, if friends, family, and loved ones are constantly at a person's side while they're struggling in a hospital bed, I have to believe that person will often times feel more motivation to fight and get through the ordeal, which would lead to better survival rates.
The "God is so good" line bothers me more than the previously mentioned phrase, especially when the word "always" is included. Again, people can believe what they want, but I can all but guarantee when one person is overjoyed by "God's" blessings with the positive result of a particular situation, another person is saddened by the polar opposite result in a similar situation, and probably isn't thinking "God is (always) so good." Again, I guess I just see this phrase as insensitive, even though I know that's not the person's intention.
The reason these two phrases irritate me so much is because they come across as narcissistic and insensitive, which is odd when thinking about the concept of God and religion in general. When it comes to supposed die-hard believers, they tend to believe in one almighty being (God) there watching out for everyone. This being is supposedly omnipotent, omniscient, and benevolent, and he/she/it is greater than this world, this life, and in particular, each individual person (or family). So why is it that so many people believe God seems to be only watching out for them and not others? Why do they outwardly express that God is so good to them when that doesn't appear to be the case with many others?
Maybe it's because many people truly want to believe they're one of God's "chosen ones." People want to feel special, like a higher power is watching out for them and always has their back. While this outlook may result in less worry and stress during difficult times, when such sentiments are expressed outwardly, they come across as narcissistic and insensitive. Yes, we should all be grateful for many things in our lives, yet that doesn't warrant us the right to believe we're one of "God's" privileged few and express that belief to many others, especially those whom have recently been struck by tragedy or heartache.
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