Why the questions "Do I look a year older?" and "Do you feel a year older?" don't make a great deal of sense...
As I noted a few days ago, I turned 34-years-old last Saturday, and as I also noted, contrary to popular belief (or wishful thinking), I don't feel 24-years-old anymore.
When I was out one night last weekend, I was asked, "So, do you feel a year older?" This seems to be quite the common question whenever a person celebrates their birthday, especially after they reach the age of 30 or so. Another common question is asked by the person celebrating his or her birthday, which is, "Do I look a year older?" Whenever these questions arise, I want to get into the following back-and-forth, because they don't make a whole lot of sense when one thinks about them:
Dexter Shotsonthehouse: "So, it's your birthday, is it?"
Me: "Yeah, it is"
Dexter: "How old are you?"
Me: "34"
Dexter: "So, do you feel it now? Do you feel a year older?"
Me: "I feel a day older than I did yesterday."
Dexter: "How old were you then? 33?"
Me: "33-years 364-days-old. Today I feel 33-years 365-days-old or 34-years-old. Pretty crazy, right?"
Dexter: "Well, do you feel your age? 34?"
Me: "I don't know. What's 34 supposed to feel like?"
Dexter: "Gosh, I don't know. Older than 33 but younger than 35, I guess."
Me: "Well, are there certain signs I should be aware of to know whether or not I feel younger or older than 34, or if I feel my exact age?"
Dexter: "Uh, look, boy - I'm just talkin', just makin' conversation here. I just had a shot of Jim Daniels, Johnny Beam, and Jack Walker over here, so I'm in no mood for any kind of philosical conversation, alright?"
Me: "Okay then... Well, I should probably get home and get some decent shut-eye, for I turn 34-years 1-day-old tomorrow, but don't want to feel that old, whatever that means."
When people ask these questions, do they truly expect the person celebrating their birthday to clearly remember how they felt exactly one year prior - especially if they're of legal drinking age and had a few beers or glasses of wine on their previous birthday? I don't think so... So, yeah, whenever I'm asked these questions anymore, like I do with many other such questions, I either go the silent-with-a-facial-expression-that-says-are-you-fricking-kidding-me route or the smartass route. On that note, this 34-year 6-day-old guy better workout so he doesn't feel 34-years 19-days-old. Then again, if I pull a hamstring while doing the opening stretches, I may feel over 50.
When I was out one night last weekend, I was asked, "So, do you feel a year older?" This seems to be quite the common question whenever a person celebrates their birthday, especially after they reach the age of 30 or so. Another common question is asked by the person celebrating his or her birthday, which is, "Do I look a year older?" Whenever these questions arise, I want to get into the following back-and-forth, because they don't make a whole lot of sense when one thinks about them:
Dexter Shotsonthehouse: "So, it's your birthday, is it?"
Me: "Yeah, it is"
Dexter: "How old are you?"
Me: "34"
Dexter: "So, do you feel it now? Do you feel a year older?"
Me: "I feel a day older than I did yesterday."
Dexter: "How old were you then? 33?"
Me: "33-years 364-days-old. Today I feel 33-years 365-days-old or 34-years-old. Pretty crazy, right?"
Dexter: "Well, do you feel your age? 34?"
Me: "I don't know. What's 34 supposed to feel like?"
Dexter: "Gosh, I don't know. Older than 33 but younger than 35, I guess."
Me: "Well, are there certain signs I should be aware of to know whether or not I feel younger or older than 34, or if I feel my exact age?"
Dexter: "Uh, look, boy - I'm just talkin', just makin' conversation here. I just had a shot of Jim Daniels, Johnny Beam, and Jack Walker over here, so I'm in no mood for any kind of philosical conversation, alright?"
Me: "Okay then... Well, I should probably get home and get some decent shut-eye, for I turn 34-years 1-day-old tomorrow, but don't want to feel that old, whatever that means."
When people ask these questions, do they truly expect the person celebrating their birthday to clearly remember how they felt exactly one year prior - especially if they're of legal drinking age and had a few beers or glasses of wine on their previous birthday? I don't think so... So, yeah, whenever I'm asked these questions anymore, like I do with many other such questions, I either go the silent-with-a-facial-expression-that-says-are-you-fricking-kidding-me route or the smartass route. On that note, this 34-year 6-day-old guy better workout so he doesn't feel 34-years 19-days-old. Then again, if I pull a hamstring while doing the opening stretches, I may feel over 50.
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