Skip to main content

"The Truman Show" starring Donald Trump

"This is Wolf Blitzer in the Situation Room, bringing situations you wouldn't normally be having in your room, in your room. We just received live breaking news here at CNN, as it appears O.J. Simpson is attempting to reenact scenes from Die Hard movies in downtown New York City. Apparently he's an incredibly bad shot, as no one has been injured or killed by his gunshots to this point. As you can see, the NYPD is doing everything in their power to not let O.J. have his 'yippee ki-yay' moment. It looks as if O.J. has run out of bullets and is running! He was just handed a football! The NYPD is coming after him! Oh, I'm being told we're going to break from this for a moment. We'll get you back to that as soon as we can, but as you can see, Donald Trump is about to tie his shoes. Oh, he's having a little bit of trouble with that right one, isn't he? There's that shake of the head, a heavy sigh. Okay, he's done the right one. Onto the left. I wonder if he always goes right before he goes left. That's something we'll have to watch very closely next time on The Situation Room. Well, if one thing's for certain, the president isn't an expert at tying shoes, but that's not what he was elected for, I'm guessing. Both his shoes are now tied. He's standing up, walking, surrounded by security, into a limo, and they're off to who knows where. Okay, so where were we with O.J.? I'm being told he's still running, but fumbled the football 20 yards ago. We'll check on that after a short commercial break and after we see whether or not President Trump has exited his vehicle and is walking, talking, blowing his nose, or eating a Whopper. Stay tuned!"

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun...

Face guarding is legal in college football and the NFL

I just wanted to remind fans and announcers especially, that face guarding is legal in both college football and the NFL. It all comes down to contact. So long as a defender doesn't make contact with an intended receiver, he doesn't have to turn around to play the ball. I can't tell you how many times every week I hear announcers talk about face guarding being a penalty. It's not. I even heard one announcer yesterday state, "If the defender doesn't turn around and play the ball, the ref will call pass interference every time." That's simply not true. Courtesy of referee Bill LeMonnier, he says this with regard to the rule at the college level (answered on 8/12/13): "NCAA rules on pass interference require the face guarding to have contact to be a foul. No contact, no foul by NCAA rules." In the NFL rule book, this is written:  "Actions that constitute defensive pass interference include but are not limited to: (a) Contact by a ...