"The Truman Show" starring Donald Trump

"This is Wolf Blitzer in the Situation Room, bringing situations you wouldn't normally be having in your room, in your room. We just received live breaking news here at CNN, as it appears O.J. Simpson is attempting to reenact scenes from Die Hard movies in downtown New York City. Apparently he's an incredibly bad shot, as no one has been injured or killed by his gunshots to this point. As you can see, the NYPD is doing everything in their power to not let O.J. have his 'yippee ki-yay' moment. It looks as if O.J. has run out of bullets and is running! He was just handed a football! The NYPD is coming after him! Oh, I'm being told we're going to break from this for a moment. We'll get you back to that as soon as we can, but as you can see, Donald Trump is about to tie his shoes. Oh, he's having a little bit of trouble with that right one, isn't he? There's that shake of the head, a heavy sigh. Okay, he's done the right one. Onto the left. I wonder if he always goes right before he goes left. That's something we'll have to watch very closely next time on The Situation Room. Well, if one thing's for certain, the president isn't an expert at tying shoes, but that's not what he was elected for, I'm guessing. Both his shoes are now tied. He's standing up, walking, surrounded by security, into a limo, and they're off to who knows where. Okay, so where were we with O.J.? I'm being told he's still running, but fumbled the football 20 yards ago. We'll check on that after a short commercial break and after we see whether or not President Trump has exited his vehicle and is walking, talking, blowing his nose, or eating a Whopper. Stay tuned!"