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Trump names May National Monogamy Appreciation month

Following his announcement to make April National Sexual Assault Awareness month, 20+-time alleged sexual predator Donald Trump decided to declare May National Monogamy Appreciation month. The thrice married president, who has admitted to cheating on all three of his wives, had this to say regarding the matter:

"I am hereby calling the month of May the National Mano, Mono, Monogamy Appreciation month. I'll just call it mono from this point forward. Mono is very important to marriage. All three of my wives thought I had mono, but they were mistaken. It's like I've always said, to make a marriage work, you need three things: 1) Sex, 2) Lots of money, 3) A beautiful piece of ass, and 4) Mono. You can't spell marriage without mono. Fact! Google it! So guys, this coming May, be sure to give all your wives mono. They will bigly appreciate it, believe me!"

Not long after this statement was made, rumors began circulating that Trump meant to say mahogany, the month of wood, but instead of admitting he made a mistake, will stick with monogamy, the month about which he knows nothing.

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