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Trump promises to bring back VCR jobs

After promising to bring back jobs in the coal-mining industry, jobs which have been on the decline for the past three decades, President Donald Trump continued his push forward by turning to the past by saying he was also going to bring back VCR-related jobs, jobs which have pretty much gone the way of the Dodo bird. In his nationally televised speech on Wednesday night, Trump said the following:

"When I said I was going to bring back jobs that don't exist anymore and make America great again, I meant every word of that, believe me! I already told coal miners about the invisible jobs I'll be giving them. In a week or two, I'll be telling the world about my plan to bring back telegraph jobs. It's gonna be terrific, just fantastic, people! Today, though, I'm gonna tell you about a new, a new old industry I'm gonna bring back. Not only will we have coal-mining and telegraph-type jobs again, but I'm bringing back VCR jobs! I'm not sure anyone owns them anymore or if they could be of use to anyone anymore, but I'm gonna force every household to have at least one VCR, because, you know, freedom! Blockbuster will be back! That local movie store place by you that's called something like All Star Videos or whatever will be back! You'll have to be kind and rewind again! I mean, who doesn't miss paying extra for not rewinding these things? I mean, seriously?!? This will force camcorders to be made again. This will make more people have back problems, so we'll need more chiropractors! The number of jobs this is gonna create is just gonna be unbelievable, believe me! So, in conclusion, VCRs, be kind and rewind, pay fines, make America great again!"

After hearing his proposal, the public seems all but certain that his new jobs plan will all but end the job of one person come 2021 - President Donald J. Trump.

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