Skip to main content

Trump promises to bring back VCR jobs

After promising to bring back jobs in the coal-mining industry, jobs which have been on the decline for the past three decades, President Donald Trump continued his push forward by turning to the past by saying he was also going to bring back VCR-related jobs, jobs which have pretty much gone the way of the Dodo bird. In his nationally televised speech on Wednesday night, Trump said the following:

"When I said I was going to bring back jobs that don't exist anymore and make America great again, I meant every word of that, believe me! I already told coal miners about the invisible jobs I'll be giving them. In a week or two, I'll be telling the world about my plan to bring back telegraph jobs. It's gonna be terrific, just fantastic, people! Today, though, I'm gonna tell you about a new, a new old industry I'm gonna bring back. Not only will we have coal-mining and telegraph-type jobs again, but I'm bringing back VCR jobs! I'm not sure anyone owns them anymore or if they could be of use to anyone anymore, but I'm gonna force every household to have at least one VCR, because, you know, freedom! Blockbuster will be back! That local movie store place by you that's called something like All Star Videos or whatever will be back! You'll have to be kind and rewind again! I mean, who doesn't miss paying extra for not rewinding these things? I mean, seriously?!? This will force camcorders to be made again. This will make more people have back problems, so we'll need more chiropractors! The number of jobs this is gonna create is just gonna be unbelievable, believe me! So, in conclusion, VCRs, be kind and rewind, pay fines, make America great again!"

After hearing his proposal, the public seems all but certain that his new jobs plan will all but end the job of one person come 2021 - President Donald J. Trump.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun...

The difference between "looking" and "checking out"

I may be way off with these numbers, but it's my approximation that at least 75% of individuals whom are involved in a serious relationship feel it's perfectly acceptable to "check out" members of the opposite sex they're not involved with. Meanwhile, approximately 25% either don't feel this is acceptable or aren't sure about the matter. I hadn't thought about this matter for a while, but since I've been dating a woman for about 8 months, the topic has been pondered about some. When reading or hearing others discuss this very issue, I often times hear comments similar to the following: "It's human nature to look." "There's nothing wrong with checking others out. I'm sure he/she does it too!" "It's fine to do it. Just don't tell your boyfriend/girlfriend about it or do it in front of them!" "It's natural to find people attractive." When observing the array of comments, I i...