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Trebek: "Total disaster." What is Trump's AP interview?

Donald Trump has never been known as an eloquent speaker, but even for him, his recent interview with the Associated Press was something special. Here are my ten favorite quotes from that interview, followed by my personal comments:

"So the Republican Party has various groups, all great people. They're all great people. But some are moderate, some are very conservative. The Democrats don't seem to have that nearly as much. You know the Democrats have, they don't have that. The Republicans do have that. And I think it's fine. But you know there's a pretty vast area in there. And I have a great relationship with all of them. Now, we have government not closing. I think we'll be in great shape on that. It's going very well. Obviously, that takes precedent."

While Bill Clinton infamously asked the question, "What is 'is'?" I'm now going to ask The Donald, "What is 'that'?"

"But President Xi, from the time I took office, they have not been currency manipulators. Because there's a certain respect because he knew I would do something or whatever. But more importantly than him not being a currency manipulator the bigger picture, bigger than even currency manipulation, if he's helping us with North Korea, with nuclear and all of the things that go along with it, who would call, what am i going to do, say, 'By the way, would you help us with North Korea? And also, you're a currency manipulator.' It doesn't work that way."

All I could make from this statement is that President Xi is at least two people, and, no, that's about it...

"Well the one thing I would say - and I say this to people - I never realized how big it was. Everything's so (unintelligible) like, you know the orders are so massive. I was talking to -"

Based on this short quote, I have a feeling the president is either talking about pizza or penises (no, not his own)...

"I don't want to comment. I just don't know yet. I mean, I have to see what's going on. I really do. But the wall is very important thing to - not only my base, but to the people. And even if it wasn't, I mean I'll do things that aren't necessarily popular. ... The wall is very important to stopping drugs."

It's now a wonder what Trump would have said had he wanted to comment. Chances are he'd just nod and smile, much like his Cabinet...

"I think $10 billion or less. And if I do a super-duper, higher, better, better security, everything else, maybe it goes a little bit more. But it's not going to be anywhere near (those) kind of numbers. And they're using those numbers; they're using the high numbers to make it sound impalatable (sic). And the fact it's going to cost much less money, just like the airplane I told you about, which I hope you can write about."

It's official; Donald Trump is going to release a song based off Brian Hyland's "Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini," entitled, "Super-Duper, Higher, Better, Better Security."

"When Wikileaks came out ... never heard of Wikileaks, never heard of it. When Wikileaks came out, all I was saying is, 'Well, look at all this information here, this is pretty good stuff.' You know, they tried to hack the Republican, the RNC, but we had good defenses. They didn't have good defenses, which is pretty bad management. But we had good defenses, they tried to hack both of them. They weren't able to get through to Republicans. No, I found it very interesting when I read this stuff and I said, 'Wow.' It was just a figure of speech. I said, 'Well, look at this. It's good reading."

The condensed version of this quote reads, "Wow. Very good stuff."

"No, I don't support or unsupport. It was just information. They shouldn't have allowed it to get out. If they had the proper defensive devices on their internet, you know, equipment, they wouldn't even allow the FBI. How about this - they get hacked, and the FBI goes to see them, and they won't let the FBI see their server. But do you understand, nobody ever writes it. Why wouldn't (former Hillary Clinton campaign chairman John) Podesta and Hillary Clinton allow the FBI to see the server? They brought in another company that I hear is Ukrainian-based."

When asked about the most famous quote from Shakespeare's Hamlet, Trump is likely to respond, "To support or to unsupport; that is the question."

"It could be an increase, then an increase. But not many more. I want to do the job, but not many more. ... This is an important story. I've done that. I've done more than any other president in the first 100 days and I think the first 100 days is an artificial barrier. And I'm scheduled ... the foundations have been set to do some great things. With foreign countries.  Look at, look at President Xi. I mean..."

"Mom, what's word salad?"

"Read this..." (the above quote)

"Three Democratic votes. OK. He's an Oxford scholar at the highest level. The No. 1, you know, one of the great academics, one of the great writers. No bad decisions with all ... nothing. He's like a..."

Redundant much? Well, based on this quote, I think we can safely assume who wasn't "an Oxford scholar, at the highest level, the no. 1, you know, one of the great academics, one of the great writers."

"It had 9.2 million people. It's the highest they've ever had. On any, on air, (CBS 'Face the Nation' host John) Dickerson had 5.2 million people. It's the highest 'Face the Nation' or as I call it, 'Deface the Nation.' It's the highest for 'Deface the Nation' since the World Trade Center. Since the World Trade Center came down. It's a tremendous advantage.

I have learned one thing, because I get treated very unfairly, that's what I call it, the fake media. And the fake media is not all of the media. You know they tried to say that the fake media was all the, no. The fake media is some of you. I could tell you who it is, 100 percent. Sometimes you're fake, but - but the fake media is some of the media. It bears no relationship to the truth. It's not that Fox treats me well, it's that Fox is the most accurate."

...and there we have it. Donald Trump has attempted to compare himself to the 9/11 attacks in a positive light. Given that, he'll probably one day say, "My wedding was so massive, so yuge, so tremendous. It was like the Titanic all over again - boom!"

https://apnews.com/c810d7de280a47e88848b0ac74690c83

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