#ThingsMoreTrustedThanTrump

I had some fun with the trending hashtag #ThingsMoreTrustedThanTrump on Twitter yesterday. Here are my posts, ordered from the most popular to the last popular (all my tweets can be seen here - https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki):

1) Dick Cheney's aim when bird-hunting
#ThingsMoreTrustedThanTrump
743 Likes, 274 Retweets

2) Edward Scissorhands as a volleyball partner
#ThingsMoreTrustedThanTrump
519 Likes, 162 Retweets

3) A cable company's expected arrival time
#ThingsMoreTrustedThanTrump
333 Likes, 121 Retweets

4) A blind dentist
#ThingsMoreTrustedThanTrump
319 Likes, 89 Retweets

5) A hooker by the name of Chastity
#ThingsMoreTrustedThanTrump
227 Likes, 49 Retweets

6) A doctor who says, "It appears you have strep throat, so I'm gonna give you a colonoscopy."
#ThingsMoreTrustedThanTrump
199 Likes, 47 Retweets

7) Doing shots of everclear on an empty stomach
#ThingsMoreTrustedThanTrump
170 Likes, 59 Retweets

8) Santa Claus and his flying reindeer bringing me a Red Ryder BB Gun
#ThingsMoreTrustedThanTrump
120 Likes, 20 Retweets

9) A busted Magic 8-ball
#ThingsMoreTrustedThanTrump
96 Likes, 27 Retweets

10) Drunken decisions with a smartphone in hand
#ThingsMoreTrustedThanTrump
99 Likes, 20 Retweets

11) Your undercover microwave while you're cooking nude in the kitchen
#ThingsMoreTrustedThanTrump
88 Likes, 20 Retweets

12) "Fake" news
#ThingsMoreTrustedThanTrump
58 Likes, 28 Retweets

13) Pepsi making a culturally-sensitive ad
#ThingsMoreTrustedThanTrump
59 Likes, 16 Retweets

14) Punxsutawney Phil's weather forecast while tripping on acid
#ThingsMoreTrustedThanTrump
64 Likes, 11 Retweets

15) A deceased psychic
#ThingsMoreTrustedThanTrump
47 Likes, 16 Retweets

16) Captain Hook on your bowling team
#ThingsMoreTrustedThanTrump
49 Likes, 12 Retweets

17) Trump's Oompa Loompa spray tan
#ThingsMoreTrustedThanTrump
45 Likes, 13 Retweets

18) Pinocchio after taking anti-truth serum
#ThingsMoreTrustedThanTrump
30 Likes, 13 Retweets

18) Sheldon Cooper's new book, "How to Get Women to Have Coitus With You"
#ThingsMoreTrustedThanTrump
34 Likes, 9 Retweets

20) Limp Bizkit doing a cover of Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You"
#ThingsMoreTrustedThanTrump
38 Likes, 4 Retweets

21) Golfing in the midst of Hurricane Apocalypse
#ThingsMoreTrustedThanTrump
36 Likes, 5 Retweets

22) Someone who cuts a Thanksgiving turkey with a spork
#ThingsMoreTrustedThanTrump
29 Likes, 8 Retweets

22) Adam Sandler winning an Oscar for one of his "Grown Ups" films
#ThingsMoreTrustedThanTrump
32 Likes, 5 Retweets

24) A sloth wins the Boston Marathon
#ThingsMoreTrustedThanTrump
27 Likes, 9 Retweets

24) Milli Vanilli winning "American Idol"
#ThingsMoreTrustedThanTrump
33 Likes, 3 Retweets

26) An amnesia-riddled fortune teller
#ThingsMoreTrustedThanTrump
23 Likes, 8 Retweets

27) Paul Ryan replacing Dustin Diamond as Screech Powers in "Saved By the Bell - The Movie"
#ThingsMoreTrustedThanTrump
21 Likes, 9 Retweets

28) A drag-racing Prius
#ThingsMoreTrustedThanTrump
23 Likes, 2 Retweets

29) The drugs Michele Bachmann has apparently been prescribed
#ThingsMoreTrustedThanTrump
20 Likes, 3 Retweets

30) My dog teaching a human anatomy course
#ThingsMoreTrustedThanTrump
22 Likes, 0 Retweets

31) Moonwalking around an ice skating rink in heels
#ThingsMoreTrustedThanTrump
16 Likes, 3 Retweets

32) That I will be Olivia Munn's post-Aaron Rodgers rebound
#ThingsMoreTrustedThanTrump
14 Likes, 3 Retweets

33) Michael Bay recreating the film "Gandhi"
#ThingsMoreTrustedThanTrump
14 Likes, 2 Retweets

34) The GEICO sumo wrestler winning the gold medal in figure skating
#ThingsMoreTrustedThanTrump
13 Likes, 2 Retweets

35) Stargazing at noon
#ThingsMoreTrustedThanTrump
12 Likes, 0 Retweets

35) Horoscopes written by a guy who goes by the name of tricky Rick
#ThingsMoreTrustedThanTrump
12 Likes, 0 Retweets

37) A mime's tour of inspirational speeches
#ThingsMoreTrustedThanTrump
10 Likes, 1 Retweet

Totals: 3,804 Likes, 1,073 Retweets (Averages of 102.8 Likes, 29.0 Retweets)

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun

The difference between "looking" and "checking out"

I may be way off with these numbers, but it's my approximation that at least 75% of individuals whom are involved in a serious relationship feel it's perfectly acceptable to "check out" members of the opposite sex they're not involved with. Meanwhile, approximately 25% either don't feel this is acceptable or aren't sure about the matter. I hadn't thought about this matter for a while, but since I've been dating a woman for about 8 months, the topic has been pondered about some. When reading or hearing others discuss this very issue, I often times hear comments similar to the following: "It's human nature to look." "There's nothing wrong with checking others out. I'm sure he/she does it too!" "It's fine to do it. Just don't tell your boyfriend/girlfriend about it or do it in front of them!" "It's natural to find people attractive." When observing the array of comments, I i

The verdict is in. To no one's surprise, Jonathan Hoenig has been found guilty of being an idiot.

Just recently, when discussing the Michael Brown shooting and whether or not race had anything to do with it, Fox News contributor Jonathan Hoenig said, "You know who talks about race? Racists." One moment while I provide Mr. Hoenig with the well deserved slow-clap. :: slow-claps for two seconds :: So, that was quite the line by Mr. Hoenig, wasn't it? "You know who talks about race? Racists." Well, wasn't he just talking about race? So, by his own words, I guess that makes him a racist. Also, if he wants to be consistent, does this mean that people whom talk about gender are sexists and people whom talk about sexual orientation are homophobes? With that line of thinking, Hoenig would engage in the following back-and-forths: Hoenig: "So, who are you voting for?" A woman: "The Democratic candidate, because he's been adamant about his support for equal rights for women." Hoenig: "You sexist feminist nazi!"

The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

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