Skip to main content

Reviewing Independent's review of Muse's "Simulation Theory"

As I say at least a handful of times every year, some reviews should not be written. Whether it be for a movie, an album, or a play, some critics come across as biased - having a bone to pick with someone involved in the product. Such is the case with Roisin O'Connor's (Independent) review of Muse's latest album, Simulation Theory.

The article is titled, "An overly polished, politically paranoid mess," and starts with this gem: "Exasperated Muse fans probably had relatively low expectations for the British rock band's eighth record, given the quality of its predecessor, Drones."

Right from the start, it sounds as though Ms. O'Connor is bothered by something, almost like she's holding a grudge against the band.

She continues: 

"The question as to whether frontman Matt Bellamy is intent on turning Muse into a Spinal Tap-level parody of a band or if he still takes it seriously is a real distraction on Simulation Theory. Where 2009's The Resistance trod a thin line between Muse album and Queen tribute record - far too much of their new record sounds like the rejected scores from Daft Punk's Tron soundtrack, or The Neverending Story. This is the first Muse album to invite non-rock producers into the fold: chart pop and hip-hop stalwarts Mike Elizondo, Shellback and Timbaland are all present, and all responsible for the overly polished mess that ensues."

Okay, so it sounds like Ms. O'Connor is either a constant hater of the band or, like a lot of people as they age, she was a fan of the group's earlier material but can't stand the direction(s) they've taken since then. Please go on...

"The melodrama of opener 'Algorithm', with its low-pulsing synth line, is laughable, as is the wannabe menacing intro that vaguely mimics 'Knights of Cydonia' on 'Blockades'. Bellamy's lyrical conspiracy theories read like the drug-induced ramblings of a 16-year-old schoolboy: 'It's too late for a revolution/Brace for a final solution,' he preaches on the sluggish 'Thought Contagion'. You picture him drooling about 'thought pollution' and 'mind control' in front of a rapt, equally stoned audience."

No, I don't. Apparently she does, but I don't. The anger seems to be building in this piece. Maybe she's hungover and or turned down for sex the previous night or something. Let's see where she goes from here...

"His voice, and the band's technical skill, are still as impressive as ever - although on a song like 'Pressure' vocals are occasionally drowned out in the mix (which shouldn't happen to someone with a voice as good as Bellamy's). 'Pressure' itself is a pleasing semi-throwback to 2006's Black Holes and Revelations, with whispers and a chugging, heavy guitar riff that recalls 'Supermassive Black Hole'. It's one of the album's few high points."

Ah, so she's an old-school Muser. Now it's starting to make sense. Let's wrap this up, shall we?

"Simulation Theory seems to fall into two territories - songs are either half-hearted nods to the best of their heavier rock-opera back catalogue, or futuristic, electronic pop-heavy tracks that borrow from bands more adept at that particular sound, and the vast majority of which are burdened with Bellamy's political paranoia. For a new listener, it's baffling. For a former, diehard fan, it's disappointing."

Like everyone else, Ms. O'Connor has the right to her own opinion, but this review comes across as an angry ex-girlfriend writing a not-too-long-after-break-up blog about her former boyfriend. Album reviews are supposed to enlighten readers on what to expect if they were to purchase and listen to it. How in the world is this review supposed to accomplish that goal? Ms. O'Connor mentions just 4 of the album's 11 songs, describing one as "laughable," another as "sluggish," the third as vaguely similar to "Knights of Cydonia," and lastly, she describes the fourth song as a "pleasing semi-throwback," which gets "occasionally drowned out in the mix." That's the most descriptive she gets with any of the songs. If the reader isn't familiar with Muse's previous albums, they won't have any idea how any of the songs sound. They won't know about the songs from Black Holes and Revelations, including "Knights of Cydonia," and the terms "laughable" and "sluggish" are subjective. Not everyone finds the same things "laughable" and/or "sluggish." So, in other words, for those who'd never heard much from the band before, this review would have been worth less than a tossed-in-the-Grand-Canyon penny. 

I don't understand reviews like this. The final product doesn't serve its intended purpose, and is therefore worthless to the people at large. Instead of having an angry ex-girlfriend write a review about her former boyfriend, how about asking a complete stranger to do so? They won't come in with any biases for or against the band, won't have held any grudges or built up any anger they want to release out unto the world, and will likely come across as much more honest and informative than Roisin O'Connor did here. If writing this review provided Ms. O'Connor with some form of catharsis, then hey, that's great for her, but it doesn't do anything for readers. The Dollar Store called and even they're turning down this review. 

https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/reviews/muse-simulation-theory-album-review-tracklist-matt-bellamy-tour-dates-a8621991.html

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun...

The difference between "looking" and "checking out"

I may be way off with these numbers, but it's my approximation that at least 75% of individuals whom are involved in a serious relationship feel it's perfectly acceptable to "check out" members of the opposite sex they're not involved with. Meanwhile, approximately 25% either don't feel this is acceptable or aren't sure about the matter. I hadn't thought about this matter for a while, but since I've been dating a woman for about 8 months, the topic has been pondered about some. When reading or hearing others discuss this very issue, I often times hear comments similar to the following: "It's human nature to look." "There's nothing wrong with checking others out. I'm sure he/she does it too!" "It's fine to do it. Just don't tell your boyfriend/girlfriend about it or do it in front of them!" "It's natural to find people attractive." When observing the array of comments, I i...