Life has been pretty crazy these past couple months, so I've been unable to post as many blogs as has been typical. In any case, I took the time to try and catch up with my trending hashtag tweets since I last updated my readers on them, and here they are, ordered from the most to the least popular (all my tweets can be seen here - https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki):
1) Trump: "This caravan is bringing crime, violence and even terrorism."
Well, that settles it then. This "caravan" is composed of nothing but Donald Trump supporters...
#MAGABomber
3,406 Likes, 965 Retweets
2) Trump: "If Republicans did lose big to Democrats, they will overturn everything that we've done and they'll do it quickly and violently, and violently."
Yeah, you were saying?
#MAGABomber
1,293 Likes, 379 Retweets
3) Dear Trumpsters:
Terrorism is about inciting fear. When a bomb is delivered to a person, it incites fear. Whether or not the bomb goes off, it's still terrorism.
#MAGAbomber
836 Likes, 237 Retweets
4) McConnell: "Presidential harassment may not be a good strategy for House Democrats."
...so says a guy who at one time declared to the world that his main goal was to harass Obama's agenda to such a grand extent, it'd make him a one-term president.
#DemsTakeTheHouse
616 Likes, 271 Retweets
5) Trump: "How many years ago was it? I don't know."
Ford: "1982"
Trump: "Upstairs, downstairs, where was it? I don't know."
Ford: "Upstairs"
Just because you're an idiot who doesn't listen doesn't give you the right to mock a sexual assault victim.
#Trump #Ford
636 Likes, 214 Retweets
6) Dear Trumpsters:
Threatening Democrats with pipe bombs and then blaming the victims doesn't make you #AmericanPatriots. It makes you cultists, imbeciles, and terrorist sympathizers. Period.
#MAGABomber
571 Likes, 214 Retweets
7) So Beto O'Rourke just let out an f-bomb during his concession speech. How much do you want to bet GOPers will complain about that more than Trump bragging about sexually assaulting women?
#ElectionNight
630 Likes, 114 Retweets
8) Trump: "So there's these people getting bomb threats. They think that's tough? Step inside my shoes and get your words repeated by the media to the public. Nothing's tougher than that. So unfair."
.. and the Snowflake of the Year Award goes to Donald Trump! Congrats!
#MAGABomber
487 Likes, 151 Retweets
9) #MAGABomber sends threatening packages to the following Democrats: The Clintons, the Obamas, Maxine Waters, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, Eric Holder, John Brennan, and George Soros.
What Trump will inevitably say: "There are bad bombers on both sides, both sides."
#Snark
257 Likes, 104 Retweets
10) Trump: "Every candidate I campaigned for or whatever won bigly last night, believe me!"
Exceptions include:
- John Cox
- Walker Stapleton
- Randy Hultgren
- Rod Blum
- Kevin Yoder
- Kris Kobach
- John James
- Lena Epstein
- Bill Schuette
- Karin Housley
(Pt. 1)
#ElectionNight
231 Likes, 107 Retweets
11) The far-right calls terrorism #FakeBombs, facts #FakeNews, all in defense of a #FakePresident. When caught cheating on their spouses, they probably yell, "Honey, no big deal! That was a #FakeOrgasm!"
#MAGAbomber
248 Likes, 66 Retweets
12) Dear @realDonaldTrump:
Just so you're consistent for once, since you did this with regard to Hillary Clinton's "emails," you should probably start a "lock-her-up" chant at your rallies for your daughter, Ivanka. Just sayin'...
#IvankaTrump
236 Likes, 73 Retweets
13) Me: "The pipe bombs were an act of terrorism."
Trumpsters: "Nuh uh! It's only terrorism if it's for political reasons."
So bomb threats sent to two former Presidents, a former VP, a former Secretary of State, a former Attorney General, etc. isn't political? Gotcha.
#MAGABomber
236 Likes, 66 Retweets
14) Trump: "I'm a nationalist."
He left out a word: Russian.
#Maddow
163 Likes, 49 Retweets
15) #IVoted because we have a demented Oompa Loompa in the White House and need to give him a golden ticket to impeachment and prison.
#VoteBlue
176 Likes, 35 Retweets
16) Trump: "I'll give Pocahontas $1 million if she can prove she's Indian."
Warren: "Done. Show me the money!"
Trump: "No, I said Indian, meaning Cleveland Indian. I win. You lose. I'm president and you're not."
#ElizabethWarren #Snark
157 Likes, 47 Retweets
17) I just heard from a pair of Trumpsters that, after losing an estimated 30 House seats and control of the House, this election was a red wave. I suppose if they lost a football game 38-8, they'd say, "We so dominated! OMG! Covfefe!" Idiots...
#ElectionNight
158 Likes, 24 Retweets
18) Dear Trumpsters who've bad-mouthed me in recent days about the pipe bombs:
Told ya.
Sincerely,
The Loony Liberal
#MAGAbomber
156 Likes, 24 Retweets
19) Dear Senator Graham:
Go f*ck yourself.
Sincerely,
Sexual assault survivors
#LindseyGrahamCompromised
139 Likes, 38 Retweets
20) Trump: "Mexicans are rapists. Build a wall. Lock her up. Ban the Muslims. Knock the crap out of 'em. Separate parents from their children. Oh, but folks, please listen to me very carefully, it's time we come together. We need to come together, bigly."
#MAGAbomber #Snark
115 Likes, 38 Retweets
21) Dear GOP:
No matter the gerrymandering, voter suppression laws, or bomb threats, you're not going to keep us from voting on election day.
#MAGAbomber
110 Likes, 42 Retweets
22) Hewitt: "Cindy Hyde-Smith is a perfectly viable Republican candidate."
That says it all right there. The Republican Party is no longer the party of Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, or Eisenhower. They're the party of Cindy Hyde-Smith, Roy Moore, David Duke, and Donald Trump.
#Hewitt
108 Likes, 39 Retweets
23) Trump: "Grab women by the p*ssy."
A man excuses himself of sexual assault because DT said it was okay.
Trump: "Knock the crap out of 'em!"
Supporters send explosives to Dems.
GOP: "You see the negative impact movies, rock music, rap, and video games have on people?"
#Clintons
107 Likes, 36 Retweets
23) Trump: "Grab women by the p*ssy."
A man excuses himself of sexual assault because DT said it was okay.
Trump: "Knock the crap out of 'em!"
Supporters send explosives to Dems.
GOP: "You see the negative impact movies, rock music, rap, and video games have on people?"
#Clintons
107 Likes, 36 Retweets
25) Flake: "You have a drinking problem, an anger problem, and attempted to rape a woman? That's awful, just awful. I hope you realize what you've done, how much pain you've inflicted upon that woman and her family. Shame on you. Anyway, you're hired."
#JeffFlake #Snark
110 Likes, 30 Retweets
26) Dear @realDonaldTrump:
So, with the economy soaring (in spite of you), to lose so badly last night, that must mean the country thinks you really suck as president, bigly. Just sayin'.
#DemsTakeTheHouse
99 Likes, 30 Retweets
27) Trump: "I'm president and you're not. Na-na na-na boo-boo, stick your head in doo-doo."
Our "president," ladies and gentlemen...
#60Minutes #Snark
105 Likes, 21 Retweets
28) The BS poll of the day (maybe year), courtesy of Rasmussen:
50% of women approve of Trump
47% of non-whites and non-blacks approve of Trump
40% of blacks approve of Trump
Apparently no one knows "alternative facts" like #Rasmussen...
104 Likes, 18 Retweets
29) Dems won by a larger margin in these midterms than Reps did in 2010 when they netted 63 House seats. In how people voted, this was most certainly a blue wave. Even w/the GOP's cheating tactics, we won the House & are slowly undoing their undemocratic legislation.
#ElectionNight
85 Likes, 35 Retweets
29) Democrats flip a House seat in Oklahoma. Hey, fake president, where's this red wave you were speaking of again?
#ElectionNight pic.twitter.com/o17YbFd7mr
101 Likes, 19 Retweets
31) Trump encourages violence; a supporter of his kills a protester; a man excuses himself of sexual assault because the "president" ok'd it.
GOP: "Dems planted the bombs to change the narrative that they're a mob!"
Well, that's stupid. The GOP was always the mob party.
#MAGABomber
87 Likes, 28 Retweets
32) Trump: "I'm a nationalist!"
Congratulations. Muammar Gaddafi, Benito Mussolini, and Adolf Hitler approve of your message...
#HoustonRally
73 Likes, 34 Retweets
33) Dear Trumpsters:
We told you.
#FredTrump
78 Likes, 21 Retweets
34) #IVoted because I'd like America to be America again and not Russia.
#VoteBlue
78 Likes, 20 Retweets
35) Then
Trump: "My father gave me a small loan of $1 million."
Now
Trump: "My father gave me a tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, very tiny loan of $413 million."
#FredTrump #Snark
68 Likes, 25 Retweets
36) Trump: "I know the people working for me better than anyone, believe me. There's: Michael Bolton, Johnny Carson, Mike Piazza, Praying Mattis, Steve Perry, Betsy Boop, Jim Kelly, Winter Coats, Mick Jagger, etc."
#MichaelBolton #Snark
70 Likes, 19 Retweets
37) GOP: "You were sexually assaulted? By whom? Okay, let us close our eyes, point to a random name in this phone book, call that person, and see if they can confirm your claim. Well, I'm sorry, but Gus Lyingtooth here doesn't even know who you are. Case dismissed."
#Kavanaugh #Snark
62 Likes, 26 Retweets
37) Headline: "Republicans try to blow up Clinton, Obama, and Soros"
Trump: "The Democrats have become an angry mob!"
Yeah, that makes sense...
#Clintons pic.twitter.com/k1FMogXnsW
69 Likes, 19 Retweets
39) Trump: "Knock the crap out of 'em."
Conway: "Trump is trying to heal the country."
#kellyanneconway
63 Likes, 23 Retweets
39) The only thing Donald Trump has earned in his entire life is a 70% BS grade on Politifact. Oh, and probably herpes.
#FredTrump
71 Likes, 15 Retweets
41) Bolton: "Why should I listen to it? I won't learn anything if I listen to it. I don't speak Arabic."
Given that logic, since you and the rest of the Trumpanzees only speak gobbledygook gibberish bullsh*t, I guess it's pretty pointless to listen to you too.
#JohnBolton
68 Likes, 17 Retweets
42) Possible Sarah Huckabee Sanders explanations for Donald Trump calling himself a nationalist:
- "Of course. He's a huge Washington Nationals fan."
- "Listen again. He said 'nation anal-ist'."
- "So you're against rationalists now?"
#HoustonRally #Snark
66 Likes, 14 Retweets
43) GOP: "It can't be proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that this man is a sexual predator. His history of alcoholism, angry tendencies, and lying under oath are irrelevant. Confirm this angry, beer-chugging, memory-losing, lying SOB now!"
#Kavanaugh #Snark
58 Likes, 21 Retweets
44) ...and Dems win control of the House, en route to Donald Trump going to the Big House!
#ElectionNight
64 Likes, 7 Retweets
45) GOP: "Punch that Democrat!"
A supporter then punches the Democrat.
GOP: "That should never have happened. There's no place in our society for that kind of thing. Shame on you!"
#Clintons
49 Likes, 21 Retweets
46) I wonder how long it will take for women to avenge payback on Senator Hatch, as they'll punch him in the face, he'll complain, and then they'll quip, "Grow up!"
#OrrinHatch #Kavanaugh
53 Likes, 13 Retweets
47) NRA: "The only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun, so long as that good guy isn't black."
#EmanticFitzgeraldBradfordJr
48 Likes, 14 Retweets
47) Dear @realDonaldTrump:
Don't cry. You're in the jungle, baby. You tried inciting civil war, so now this November rain is going to turn into a November tsunami. We're going to transform your "sh*tholes" into paradise cities. All we need is a little patience.
#AxlRose #VoteBlue
51 Likes, 11 Retweets
49) Wow, Donald Trump's as*holeometer is kicked up a bigly notch today, which is saying something...
#DemsTakeTheHouse
44 Likes, 12 Retweets
50) Headline: "DNA test shows strong evidence of Elizabeth Warren having Native American ancestry"
In other news, a separate such test showcased strong evidence that Donald Trump is 100% neanderthal.
#ElizabethWarren
43 Likes, 11 Retweets
51) The way Trump's talking, the U.S. is made up of 3 states: Florida, Ohio, and Georgia. He does realize the country is composed of 50 states, right? Okay, stupid question. The answer is probably no...
#DemsTakeTheHouse
49 Likes, 4 Retweets
52) Trump: "Your father was a murderer; your wife is ugly; and worst of all, you're a liar."
Cruz: "Wow... That's so... What I mean to say is, I think we should spend more time together."
Trump: "Me too. You're beautiful."
#HoustonRally #Snark
41 Likes, 10 Retweets
53) Hewitt: "You all got bomb threats? So what? At least you didn't get yelled at!"
#MAGABomber #Snark
41 Likes, 7 Retweets
54) #IVoted because it's cooler than smoking was back in the day, gives you a greater buzz, and doesn't include any of those nasty side-effects. Give it a try, kids.
#VoteBlue
37 Likes, 3 Retweets
55) Trump: "Sure, a lot of people died in the Holocaust, but it wasn't in our country, so..."
#60Minutes #Snark
26 Likes, 13 Retweets
55) Trump: "Get ready for part duh of the bigly tax cuts. This one goes out to the middle class income people - you know, those only making $1 million or so."
#GOPTaxScam #Snark
30 Likes, 9 Retweets
55) Trump: "There are Middle Easterners in the caravan thingy, trust me. I mean, there's always someone from the Middle East in every group in the Americas - you know, Virginians, Carolinians, Marylandonians, etc."
#MiddleEasterners #Snark
30 Likes, 9 Retweets
58) The LGBT community garners equal-marriage rights.
Trumpsters: "This is an attack on Christianity!"
Bomb threats are sent to several Democrats.
Trumpsters: "That's just one of those strange coinkydink things."
#MAGABomber
29 Likes, 9 Retweets
58) Trump: "Hey, if House dems investigate me for criminal activity, I'll investigate them for investigating me, so there!"
#DemsTakeTheHouse #Snark
35 Likes, 3 Retweets
60) Obama: "Don't boo; vote!"
It's sad that, if Trump were to counter this message with, "Don't bomb; vote!," it'd actually make sense. This is where we are today...
#JamesClapper #CoryBooker #MAGABomber
31 Likes, 6 Retweets
61) John Bolton in school
Principal: "You have to take a foreign language in order to graduate. How about Spanish?"
Bolton: "But I don't speak Spanish..."
#JohnBolton #Snark
26 Likes, 7 Retweets
62) Trump: "I'm telling you, the blacks, vote for the GOP! By the way, Robert E. Lee was a great general. David Duke is a good guy. What other racists should I praise right now? Anyway, vote Republican, blacks. What more do you have to lose?"
#RobertELee #Snark
22 Likes, 10 Retweets
62) Trump: "Here's my current rankings:
1) Me
2) Me
3) Me
4) Russia
5) Ivanka
6) Saudi Arabia
Like I've always said, #AmericaFirst!"
#Snark
23 Likes, 9 Retweets
64) Facts, logic, grammar, morality, questions, laws, numbers, honesty, modesty, fidelity, brains, history, peace, love, harmony, science, studies, democracy, etc.
#OtherTrumpPhobias
25 Likes, 4 Retweets
64) Want a bear whose hair goes the way of the wind much like his opinions? Want a bear so tiny and ugly he makes you feel strong and handsome? Introducing #TrumpyBear. Warning: Trumpy Bear has been known to not let go once he grabs onto you, which could result in death.
26 Likes, 3 Retweets
66) GOP after Trump gets a blowjob from an intern: "We didn't know it was a bad idea."
#Snark #IvankasEmails
21 Likes, 4 Retweets
67) GOP/NRA: "The right of the white people to keep and bear Arms shall not be infringed. If anyone else bears Arms, they shall be shot dead, because equality."
#EmanticFitzgeraldBradfordJr #2ndAmendment
15 Likes, 8 Retweets
67) If Trump were an NFL coach who experienced an offseason like the GOP experienced in the midterms last night:
"Our defense is a lil better; we have like no offense anymore; & our special teams are worse than last year. So yeah, we're better than ever, bigly!"
#ElectionNight #Snark
17 Likes, 6 Retweets
67) Trump: "Sure, Ivanka killed a guy, but she didn't burn her confession letter like crooked Hillary did, so she's okay. Murder isn't murder if you admit to it."
#Snark #IvankasEmails
20 Likes, 3 Retweets
70) I find it interesting that it's both #MeanGirlsDay and #NationalBoyfriendDay...
18 Likes, 2 Retweets
71) If GOPers continue down the "false flag" path: "Many years ago, this liberal had a psychic vision of Dems election problems, so he registered as Rep., voted for Trump, & sent bombs to lots of libs to help them win elections."
No, that's not crazy at all...
#MAGABomber
14 Likes, 3 Retweets
72) #Trump2020Landslide
Landslide (noun): "Earth moving down a hillside very rapidly, destroying everything in its path."
Destroying everything in his path, including democracy? Yeah, Trump's been doing that since 1/20/17...
15 Likes, 1 Retweet
73) Trump: "I love nations big and bigger, so of course I'm a nationalist. If you're not a nationalist, you're a racist. Fact."
#HoustonRally #Snark
11 Likes, 3 Retweets
73) 2012
GOP nominee: "We built it!"
2016 nominee: "You know that saying, 'If you build it, he will come'? That's bullsh*t. If my daddy builds it and gives me $400 million, I'll become rich. So yeah, I built that!"
#FredTrump #Snark
12 Likes, 2 Retweets
73) It's been announced that 147-year-old Mike DeWine has won the Ohio governor's race...
#ElectionNight
13 Likes, 1 Retweet
76) Signs you're getting old: You see #WeLoveYouSoMuchDemi trending on Twitter and your first thought is, "Why in the world is Demi Moore trending on Twitter? I haven't heard about her in ages!" pic.twitter.com/EQkrGfN0NQ
12 Likes, 1 Retweet
77) Freezing John Malkovich
#GetAMovieCold
7 Likes, 0 Retweets
78) Eternal Darkness of the Spotless Mind
#GetAMovieCold
4 Likes, 1 Retweet
78) Words of wisdom from Jason Witten: "They need to stick it on up in there."
#MondayNightFootball
5 Likes, 0 Retweets
Totals: 13,902 Likes, 3,857 Retweets (Averages of 176.0 Likes, 48.8 Retweets)
1) Trump: "This caravan is bringing crime, violence and even terrorism."
Well, that settles it then. This "caravan" is composed of nothing but Donald Trump supporters...
#MAGABomber
3,406 Likes, 965 Retweets
2) Trump: "If Republicans did lose big to Democrats, they will overturn everything that we've done and they'll do it quickly and violently, and violently."
Yeah, you were saying?
#MAGABomber
1,293 Likes, 379 Retweets
3) Dear Trumpsters:
Terrorism is about inciting fear. When a bomb is delivered to a person, it incites fear. Whether or not the bomb goes off, it's still terrorism.
#MAGAbomber
836 Likes, 237 Retweets
4) McConnell: "Presidential harassment may not be a good strategy for House Democrats."
...so says a guy who at one time declared to the world that his main goal was to harass Obama's agenda to such a grand extent, it'd make him a one-term president.
#DemsTakeTheHouse
616 Likes, 271 Retweets
5) Trump: "How many years ago was it? I don't know."
Ford: "1982"
Trump: "Upstairs, downstairs, where was it? I don't know."
Ford: "Upstairs"
Just because you're an idiot who doesn't listen doesn't give you the right to mock a sexual assault victim.
#Trump #Ford
636 Likes, 214 Retweets
6) Dear Trumpsters:
Threatening Democrats with pipe bombs and then blaming the victims doesn't make you #AmericanPatriots. It makes you cultists, imbeciles, and terrorist sympathizers. Period.
#MAGABomber
571 Likes, 214 Retweets
7) So Beto O'Rourke just let out an f-bomb during his concession speech. How much do you want to bet GOPers will complain about that more than Trump bragging about sexually assaulting women?
#ElectionNight
630 Likes, 114 Retweets
8) Trump: "So there's these people getting bomb threats. They think that's tough? Step inside my shoes and get your words repeated by the media to the public. Nothing's tougher than that. So unfair."
.. and the Snowflake of the Year Award goes to Donald Trump! Congrats!
#MAGABomber
487 Likes, 151 Retweets
9) #MAGABomber sends threatening packages to the following Democrats: The Clintons, the Obamas, Maxine Waters, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, Eric Holder, John Brennan, and George Soros.
What Trump will inevitably say: "There are bad bombers on both sides, both sides."
#Snark
257 Likes, 104 Retweets
10) Trump: "Every candidate I campaigned for or whatever won bigly last night, believe me!"
Exceptions include:
- John Cox
- Walker Stapleton
- Randy Hultgren
- Rod Blum
- Kevin Yoder
- Kris Kobach
- John James
- Lena Epstein
- Bill Schuette
- Karin Housley
(Pt. 1)
#ElectionNight
231 Likes, 107 Retweets
11) The far-right calls terrorism #FakeBombs, facts #FakeNews, all in defense of a #FakePresident. When caught cheating on their spouses, they probably yell, "Honey, no big deal! That was a #FakeOrgasm!"
#MAGAbomber
248 Likes, 66 Retweets
12) Dear @realDonaldTrump:
Just so you're consistent for once, since you did this with regard to Hillary Clinton's "emails," you should probably start a "lock-her-up" chant at your rallies for your daughter, Ivanka. Just sayin'...
#IvankaTrump
236 Likes, 73 Retweets
13) Me: "The pipe bombs were an act of terrorism."
Trumpsters: "Nuh uh! It's only terrorism if it's for political reasons."
So bomb threats sent to two former Presidents, a former VP, a former Secretary of State, a former Attorney General, etc. isn't political? Gotcha.
#MAGABomber
236 Likes, 66 Retweets
14) Trump: "I'm a nationalist."
He left out a word: Russian.
#Maddow
163 Likes, 49 Retweets
15) #IVoted because we have a demented Oompa Loompa in the White House and need to give him a golden ticket to impeachment and prison.
#VoteBlue
176 Likes, 35 Retweets
16) Trump: "I'll give Pocahontas $1 million if she can prove she's Indian."
Warren: "Done. Show me the money!"
Trump: "No, I said Indian, meaning Cleveland Indian. I win. You lose. I'm president and you're not."
#ElizabethWarren #Snark
157 Likes, 47 Retweets
17) I just heard from a pair of Trumpsters that, after losing an estimated 30 House seats and control of the House, this election was a red wave. I suppose if they lost a football game 38-8, they'd say, "We so dominated! OMG! Covfefe!" Idiots...
#ElectionNight
158 Likes, 24 Retweets
18) Dear Trumpsters who've bad-mouthed me in recent days about the pipe bombs:
Told ya.
Sincerely,
The Loony Liberal
#MAGAbomber
156 Likes, 24 Retweets
19) Dear Senator Graham:
Go f*ck yourself.
Sincerely,
Sexual assault survivors
#LindseyGrahamCompromised
139 Likes, 38 Retweets
20) Trump: "Mexicans are rapists. Build a wall. Lock her up. Ban the Muslims. Knock the crap out of 'em. Separate parents from their children. Oh, but folks, please listen to me very carefully, it's time we come together. We need to come together, bigly."
#MAGAbomber #Snark
115 Likes, 38 Retweets
21) Dear GOP:
No matter the gerrymandering, voter suppression laws, or bomb threats, you're not going to keep us from voting on election day.
#MAGAbomber
110 Likes, 42 Retweets
22) Hewitt: "Cindy Hyde-Smith is a perfectly viable Republican candidate."
That says it all right there. The Republican Party is no longer the party of Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, or Eisenhower. They're the party of Cindy Hyde-Smith, Roy Moore, David Duke, and Donald Trump.
#Hewitt
108 Likes, 39 Retweets
23) Trump: "Grab women by the p*ssy."
A man excuses himself of sexual assault because DT said it was okay.
Trump: "Knock the crap out of 'em!"
Supporters send explosives to Dems.
GOP: "You see the negative impact movies, rock music, rap, and video games have on people?"
#Clintons
107 Likes, 36 Retweets
23) Trump: "Grab women by the p*ssy."
A man excuses himself of sexual assault because DT said it was okay.
Trump: "Knock the crap out of 'em!"
Supporters send explosives to Dems.
GOP: "You see the negative impact movies, rock music, rap, and video games have on people?"
#Clintons
107 Likes, 36 Retweets
25) Flake: "You have a drinking problem, an anger problem, and attempted to rape a woman? That's awful, just awful. I hope you realize what you've done, how much pain you've inflicted upon that woman and her family. Shame on you. Anyway, you're hired."
#JeffFlake #Snark
110 Likes, 30 Retweets
26) Dear @realDonaldTrump:
So, with the economy soaring (in spite of you), to lose so badly last night, that must mean the country thinks you really suck as president, bigly. Just sayin'.
#DemsTakeTheHouse
99 Likes, 30 Retweets
27) Trump: "I'm president and you're not. Na-na na-na boo-boo, stick your head in doo-doo."
Our "president," ladies and gentlemen...
#60Minutes #Snark
105 Likes, 21 Retweets
28) The BS poll of the day (maybe year), courtesy of Rasmussen:
50% of women approve of Trump
47% of non-whites and non-blacks approve of Trump
40% of blacks approve of Trump
Apparently no one knows "alternative facts" like #Rasmussen...
104 Likes, 18 Retweets
29) Dems won by a larger margin in these midterms than Reps did in 2010 when they netted 63 House seats. In how people voted, this was most certainly a blue wave. Even w/the GOP's cheating tactics, we won the House & are slowly undoing their undemocratic legislation.
#ElectionNight
85 Likes, 35 Retweets
29) Democrats flip a House seat in Oklahoma. Hey, fake president, where's this red wave you were speaking of again?
#ElectionNight pic.twitter.com/o17YbFd7mr
101 Likes, 19 Retweets
31) Trump encourages violence; a supporter of his kills a protester; a man excuses himself of sexual assault because the "president" ok'd it.
GOP: "Dems planted the bombs to change the narrative that they're a mob!"
Well, that's stupid. The GOP was always the mob party.
#MAGABomber
87 Likes, 28 Retweets
32) Trump: "I'm a nationalist!"
Congratulations. Muammar Gaddafi, Benito Mussolini, and Adolf Hitler approve of your message...
#HoustonRally
73 Likes, 34 Retweets
33) Dear Trumpsters:
We told you.
#FredTrump
78 Likes, 21 Retweets
34) #IVoted because I'd like America to be America again and not Russia.
#VoteBlue
78 Likes, 20 Retweets
35) Then
Trump: "My father gave me a small loan of $1 million."
Now
Trump: "My father gave me a tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, very tiny loan of $413 million."
#FredTrump #Snark
68 Likes, 25 Retweets
36) Trump: "I know the people working for me better than anyone, believe me. There's: Michael Bolton, Johnny Carson, Mike Piazza, Praying Mattis, Steve Perry, Betsy Boop, Jim Kelly, Winter Coats, Mick Jagger, etc."
#MichaelBolton #Snark
70 Likes, 19 Retweets
37) GOP: "You were sexually assaulted? By whom? Okay, let us close our eyes, point to a random name in this phone book, call that person, and see if they can confirm your claim. Well, I'm sorry, but Gus Lyingtooth here doesn't even know who you are. Case dismissed."
#Kavanaugh #Snark
62 Likes, 26 Retweets
37) Headline: "Republicans try to blow up Clinton, Obama, and Soros"
Trump: "The Democrats have become an angry mob!"
Yeah, that makes sense...
#Clintons pic.twitter.com/k1FMogXnsW
69 Likes, 19 Retweets
39) Trump: "Knock the crap out of 'em."
Conway: "Trump is trying to heal the country."
#kellyanneconway
63 Likes, 23 Retweets
39) The only thing Donald Trump has earned in his entire life is a 70% BS grade on Politifact. Oh, and probably herpes.
#FredTrump
71 Likes, 15 Retweets
41) Bolton: "Why should I listen to it? I won't learn anything if I listen to it. I don't speak Arabic."
Given that logic, since you and the rest of the Trumpanzees only speak gobbledygook gibberish bullsh*t, I guess it's pretty pointless to listen to you too.
#JohnBolton
68 Likes, 17 Retweets
42) Possible Sarah Huckabee Sanders explanations for Donald Trump calling himself a nationalist:
- "Of course. He's a huge Washington Nationals fan."
- "Listen again. He said 'nation anal-ist'."
- "So you're against rationalists now?"
#HoustonRally #Snark
66 Likes, 14 Retweets
43) GOP: "It can't be proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that this man is a sexual predator. His history of alcoholism, angry tendencies, and lying under oath are irrelevant. Confirm this angry, beer-chugging, memory-losing, lying SOB now!"
#Kavanaugh #Snark
58 Likes, 21 Retweets
44) ...and Dems win control of the House, en route to Donald Trump going to the Big House!
#ElectionNight
64 Likes, 7 Retweets
45) GOP: "Punch that Democrat!"
A supporter then punches the Democrat.
GOP: "That should never have happened. There's no place in our society for that kind of thing. Shame on you!"
#Clintons
49 Likes, 21 Retweets
46) I wonder how long it will take for women to avenge payback on Senator Hatch, as they'll punch him in the face, he'll complain, and then they'll quip, "Grow up!"
#OrrinHatch #Kavanaugh
53 Likes, 13 Retweets
47) NRA: "The only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun, so long as that good guy isn't black."
#EmanticFitzgeraldBradfordJr
48 Likes, 14 Retweets
47) Dear @realDonaldTrump:
Don't cry. You're in the jungle, baby. You tried inciting civil war, so now this November rain is going to turn into a November tsunami. We're going to transform your "sh*tholes" into paradise cities. All we need is a little patience.
#AxlRose #VoteBlue
51 Likes, 11 Retweets
49) Wow, Donald Trump's as*holeometer is kicked up a bigly notch today, which is saying something...
#DemsTakeTheHouse
44 Likes, 12 Retweets
50) Headline: "DNA test shows strong evidence of Elizabeth Warren having Native American ancestry"
In other news, a separate such test showcased strong evidence that Donald Trump is 100% neanderthal.
#ElizabethWarren
43 Likes, 11 Retweets
51) The way Trump's talking, the U.S. is made up of 3 states: Florida, Ohio, and Georgia. He does realize the country is composed of 50 states, right? Okay, stupid question. The answer is probably no...
#DemsTakeTheHouse
49 Likes, 4 Retweets
52) Trump: "Your father was a murderer; your wife is ugly; and worst of all, you're a liar."
Cruz: "Wow... That's so... What I mean to say is, I think we should spend more time together."
Trump: "Me too. You're beautiful."
#HoustonRally #Snark
41 Likes, 10 Retweets
53) Hewitt: "You all got bomb threats? So what? At least you didn't get yelled at!"
#MAGABomber #Snark
41 Likes, 7 Retweets
54) #IVoted because it's cooler than smoking was back in the day, gives you a greater buzz, and doesn't include any of those nasty side-effects. Give it a try, kids.
#VoteBlue
37 Likes, 3 Retweets
55) Trump: "Sure, a lot of people died in the Holocaust, but it wasn't in our country, so..."
#60Minutes #Snark
26 Likes, 13 Retweets
55) Trump: "Get ready for part duh of the bigly tax cuts. This one goes out to the middle class income people - you know, those only making $1 million or so."
#GOPTaxScam #Snark
30 Likes, 9 Retweets
55) Trump: "There are Middle Easterners in the caravan thingy, trust me. I mean, there's always someone from the Middle East in every group in the Americas - you know, Virginians, Carolinians, Marylandonians, etc."
#MiddleEasterners #Snark
30 Likes, 9 Retweets
58) The LGBT community garners equal-marriage rights.
Trumpsters: "This is an attack on Christianity!"
Bomb threats are sent to several Democrats.
Trumpsters: "That's just one of those strange coinkydink things."
#MAGABomber
29 Likes, 9 Retweets
58) Trump: "Hey, if House dems investigate me for criminal activity, I'll investigate them for investigating me, so there!"
#DemsTakeTheHouse #Snark
35 Likes, 3 Retweets
60) Obama: "Don't boo; vote!"
It's sad that, if Trump were to counter this message with, "Don't bomb; vote!," it'd actually make sense. This is where we are today...
#JamesClapper #CoryBooker #MAGABomber
31 Likes, 6 Retweets
61) John Bolton in school
Principal: "You have to take a foreign language in order to graduate. How about Spanish?"
Bolton: "But I don't speak Spanish..."
#JohnBolton #Snark
26 Likes, 7 Retweets
62) Trump: "I'm telling you, the blacks, vote for the GOP! By the way, Robert E. Lee was a great general. David Duke is a good guy. What other racists should I praise right now? Anyway, vote Republican, blacks. What more do you have to lose?"
#RobertELee #Snark
22 Likes, 10 Retweets
62) Trump: "Here's my current rankings:
1) Me
2) Me
3) Me
4) Russia
5) Ivanka
6) Saudi Arabia
Like I've always said, #AmericaFirst!"
#Snark
23 Likes, 9 Retweets
64) Facts, logic, grammar, morality, questions, laws, numbers, honesty, modesty, fidelity, brains, history, peace, love, harmony, science, studies, democracy, etc.
#OtherTrumpPhobias
25 Likes, 4 Retweets
64) Want a bear whose hair goes the way of the wind much like his opinions? Want a bear so tiny and ugly he makes you feel strong and handsome? Introducing #TrumpyBear. Warning: Trumpy Bear has been known to not let go once he grabs onto you, which could result in death.
26 Likes, 3 Retweets
66) GOP after Trump gets a blowjob from an intern: "We didn't know it was a bad idea."
#Snark #IvankasEmails
21 Likes, 4 Retweets
67) GOP/NRA: "The right of the white people to keep and bear Arms shall not be infringed. If anyone else bears Arms, they shall be shot dead, because equality."
#EmanticFitzgeraldBradfordJr #2ndAmendment
15 Likes, 8 Retweets
67) If Trump were an NFL coach who experienced an offseason like the GOP experienced in the midterms last night:
"Our defense is a lil better; we have like no offense anymore; & our special teams are worse than last year. So yeah, we're better than ever, bigly!"
#ElectionNight #Snark
17 Likes, 6 Retweets
67) Trump: "Sure, Ivanka killed a guy, but she didn't burn her confession letter like crooked Hillary did, so she's okay. Murder isn't murder if you admit to it."
#Snark #IvankasEmails
20 Likes, 3 Retweets
70) I find it interesting that it's both #MeanGirlsDay and #NationalBoyfriendDay...
18 Likes, 2 Retweets
71) If GOPers continue down the "false flag" path: "Many years ago, this liberal had a psychic vision of Dems election problems, so he registered as Rep., voted for Trump, & sent bombs to lots of libs to help them win elections."
No, that's not crazy at all...
#MAGABomber
14 Likes, 3 Retweets
72) #Trump2020Landslide
Landslide (noun): "Earth moving down a hillside very rapidly, destroying everything in its path."
Destroying everything in his path, including democracy? Yeah, Trump's been doing that since 1/20/17...
15 Likes, 1 Retweet
73) Trump: "I love nations big and bigger, so of course I'm a nationalist. If you're not a nationalist, you're a racist. Fact."
#HoustonRally #Snark
11 Likes, 3 Retweets
73) 2012
GOP nominee: "We built it!"
2016 nominee: "You know that saying, 'If you build it, he will come'? That's bullsh*t. If my daddy builds it and gives me $400 million, I'll become rich. So yeah, I built that!"
#FredTrump #Snark
12 Likes, 2 Retweets
73) It's been announced that 147-year-old Mike DeWine has won the Ohio governor's race...
#ElectionNight
13 Likes, 1 Retweet
76) Signs you're getting old: You see #WeLoveYouSoMuchDemi trending on Twitter and your first thought is, "Why in the world is Demi Moore trending on Twitter? I haven't heard about her in ages!" pic.twitter.com/EQkrGfN0NQ
12 Likes, 1 Retweet
77) Freezing John Malkovich
#GetAMovieCold
7 Likes, 0 Retweets
78) Eternal Darkness of the Spotless Mind
#GetAMovieCold
4 Likes, 1 Retweet
78) Words of wisdom from Jason Witten: "They need to stick it on up in there."
#MondayNightFootball
5 Likes, 0 Retweets
Totals: 13,902 Likes, 3,857 Retweets (Averages of 176.0 Likes, 48.8 Retweets)
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