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What I learned in Week 12 of the NFL season

In Week 12 of the NFL season, I learned that...

- ...Chris Spielman believes if a defender kills a receiver before the pass arrives, he shouldn't be penalized for interference.

- ...Michigan football sucked harder than a prostitute on a lollipop she nicknamed Shaft.

- ...no one was more thrilled the Cowboys beat the Redskins on Thanksgiving Day than the Natives.

- ...the first rule of All-Talk-No-Fight Club is for Jacksonville Jaguars cornerback Jalen Ramsey to stop talking about All-Talk-No-Fight Club.

- ...not even Chuck Norris can take down Cleveland Browns tight end David Njoku.

- ...it's becoming increasingly more obvious that drunkards are in charge of the musical selections at NFL games, for after another Jagerbomb, the selector places the White Stripes' "Seven Nation Army" on repeat.

- ...the curse of Hue Jackson has officially left Cleveland and moved onto Cincinnati. Doctors refer to the curse as Hueorrhea Jacksonitis..

- ..., after the season, Philip Rivers and Tom Brady are bound to participate in a Pay-Per-View event called The Race. Vegas claims there's a 1 in 2 chance this will be just as exciting as The Match between Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson.

- ...Saquon will likely be added to the dictionary, meaning, "smoother than the other side of the pillow if the other side of the pillow were a baby's butt."

- ...the Pittsburgh Steelers' team song is apparently the Red Hot Chili Peppers' "Give It Away."
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  1. SarcasmMyShieldNovember 27, 2018 at 7:53 PM

    That's probably the same prostitute that sucked the chrome off my neighbor's trailer hitch. She sure gets around... lol

    ReplyDelete

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