Transcript for Podcast: "I Feel Snitty," Episode 62: "'(No) Winning' ('Arrogant Covidiot' Track 12)," is now available!

Podcast: "I Feel Snitty"

Episode 62: "(No) Winning" ("Arrogant Covidiot" Track 12)

Premiere Date: 5/29/20

Length: 9:11 (650 words)

Link: https://ifeelsnitty.podbean.com/e/no-winning/

Transcript:

“(No) Winning”

The day has finally come

The sun is shining high and bright

Ready to wait several hours in line

I’m about to cast my vote

My head high and proud

You are so going down

In the USA

We will no longer be ashamed

NBC calls it

Donald Trump got the sh*t kicked out of him

Tears stroll down his cheeks

As he asks Putin how they can still cheat

He then whines and tweets

Says prepare for his victory speech

He goes to the mic

Says he pulled off the biggest comeback

Even though he lost

He thinks the scoring is like golf

Who’s gonna tell him?

You can’t kick the ball till it goes in

The United States of America wins

As you become someone’s b*tch in prison

Russia cried today

A clothed Putin is riding horseback

His shirt staying on

As he thinks about dumping Don

Democracy wins

Democracy wins

Everyone wins if democracy wins

Democracy wins

Democracy wins

Everyone wins if democracy wins

Suppression laws blew up in their face

Gerrymandering got you nowhere

You’re not going to silence our voice

You can f*ck right off for all that we care

Tell a child not to reach into the jar

He’ll look at you, smirk, and head toward it right away

Strip the rights of which our soldiers died for

We’ll stand together and piss on your leg

We drank tons of water today

Drank 13 jugs of water today

We haven’t peed at all today

Your legs will get soaked today

About to spray

Make our mark today

Doesn’t matter what you do

What you do, say, or think

If you try to deny our rights

Burn our Constitution

We’ll make your tiny balls shrink

He awoke, then tuned in to Fox and Friends

Hoping Kilmeade and Douche give him positive spin

Searching for a sign

Just give him a line

A single word shall suffice

Just “win” will do

He thinks it’s coming

It’s going to happen

Fullest context is of no relevance

What happened?

Nobody liked you, everyone blocked you

What happened?

The mob has attacked you for being Trump

What happened?

Everyone blocked you, nobody liked you

What happened?

The mob has attacked you for being Trump

That’s what f*cking happened

Woo! Yeah!

You lost out on the West Coast

You lost on the East Coast too

You lost over on the islands

And made the desert blue

You lost with the young voters

You lost with boomers as well

You lost with family members

And porn stars you have blackmailed

You lost with the scientists

You lost with all the doctors

Muslims want to ban your a$$

Hispanics want to build a wall

We don’t want an arrogant covidiot

So we want you out

Get the hell out

Get the hell out

He’s about to fly far from here

It is January 20th of next year

With some TP stuck to his shoes

He’s trembling in fear

He’s facing lawsuits every which way

From laundering to an Al Capone wannabe

From Tijuana to Augusta, Maine

He wants outta here

As he leaves his jet-plane

Balance finally feels restored

America may possibly be somewhat sane again

After led by a yuge Cheeto

We have hit hell bottom

But can rise up and

Hope

We now have hope again

Hope

We now have hope again

The bullying will now stop

He finally got his due

He was quite weak after all

We melted this snowflake with our will and

Hope

We now have hope again

Hope

We now have hope again

Hope

We now have hope again

Hope

We now have hope again

Hope

We now have hope again

Hope

We now have hope again

Hope

We now have hope again

Hope

We now have hope again

Nobody liked you

Everyone blocked you

The mob has attacked you for being Trump

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun

The difference between "looking" and "checking out"

I may be way off with these numbers, but it's my approximation that at least 75% of individuals whom are involved in a serious relationship feel it's perfectly acceptable to "check out" members of the opposite sex they're not involved with. Meanwhile, approximately 25% either don't feel this is acceptable or aren't sure about the matter. I hadn't thought about this matter for a while, but since I've been dating a woman for about 8 months, the topic has been pondered about some. When reading or hearing others discuss this very issue, I often times hear comments similar to the following: "It's human nature to look." "There's nothing wrong with checking others out. I'm sure he/she does it too!" "It's fine to do it. Just don't tell your boyfriend/girlfriend about it or do it in front of them!" "It's natural to find people attractive." When observing the array of comments, I i

The verdict is in. To no one's surprise, Jonathan Hoenig has been found guilty of being an idiot.

Just recently, when discussing the Michael Brown shooting and whether or not race had anything to do with it, Fox News contributor Jonathan Hoenig said, "You know who talks about race? Racists." One moment while I provide Mr. Hoenig with the well deserved slow-clap. :: slow-claps for two seconds :: So, that was quite the line by Mr. Hoenig, wasn't it? "You know who talks about race? Racists." Well, wasn't he just talking about race? So, by his own words, I guess that makes him a racist. Also, if he wants to be consistent, does this mean that people whom talk about gender are sexists and people whom talk about sexual orientation are homophobes? With that line of thinking, Hoenig would engage in the following back-and-forths: Hoenig: "So, who are you voting for?" A woman: "The Democratic candidate, because he's been adamant about his support for equal rights for women." Hoenig: "You sexist feminist nazi!"

The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

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