Actor and notable "good guy" Matt Damon has come under fire in recent days for some comments he made regarding sexual assault and harassment in an interview on ABC News's Popcorn With Peter Travers. Given the incredibly hot-button status of the matter at this current juncture, perhaps it would have been wise for Damon to have gone a more cautious route, but I digress. Before providing my take on things, here's what Damon said to Travers:
- "I think we're in this watershed moment. I think it's great. I think it's wonderful that women are feeling empowered to tell their stories, and it's totally necessary ... I do believe that there's a spectrum of behavior, right? And we're going to have to figure - you know, there's a difference between, you know, patting someone on the butt and rape or child molestation, right? Both of those behaviors need to be confronted and eradicated without question, but they shouldn't be conflated, right? You know, we see somebody like Al Franken, right? - I personally would have preferred if they had an Ethics Committee investigation, you know what I mean? It's like at what point - you know, we're so energized to kind of get retribution, I think.
And we live in this culture of outrage and injury, and, you know, that we're going to have to correct enough to kind of go, 'Wait a minute. None of us came here perfect.' You know what I mean? ... The Louis C.K. thing, I don't know all the details. I don't do deep dives on this, but I did see his statement, which kind of, which [was] arresting to me. When he came out and said, 'I did this. I did these things. These women are telling the truth.' And I just remember thinking, 'Well, that's the sign of somebody who - well, we can work with that' ... Like, when I'm raising my kids, this constant personal responsibility is as important as anything else they learn before they go off in the world.
And the fear for me is that right now, we're in this moment where at the moment - and I hope it doesn't stay this way - the clearer signal to men and to younger people is, deny it. Because if you take responsibility for what you did, your life's going to get ruined ...
I mean, look, as I said, all of that behavior needs to be confronted, but there is a continuum. And on this end of the continuum where you have rape and child molestation or whatever, you know, that's prison. Right? And that's what needs to happen. OK? And then we can talk about rehabilitation and everything else. That's criminal behavior, and it needs to be dealt with that way. The other stuff is just kind of shameful and gross, and I just think ... I don't know Louis C.K.. I've never met him. I'm a fan of his, but I don't imagine he's going to do those things again. You know what I mean? I imagine the price that he's paid at this point is so beyond anything that he - I just think that we have to kind of start delineating between what these behaviors are."
- "When you see Al Franken taking a picture putting his hands on that woman's flak jacket and mugging for the camera, going like that, you know, that is just like a terrible joke, and it's not funny. It's wrong, and he shouldn't have done that ... But when you talk about Harvey and what he's accused of, there are no pictures of that. He knew he was up to no good. There's no witnesses. There's no pictures. There's no braggadocio ... So they don't belong in the same category."
While Damon said more in his interview, those were the two quotes which were most often cited and criticized. Not long after Damon's comments were published, social media became a mobscene, saying Damon was tone-deaf on the issue, largely because of his gender; that he was excusing Louis C.K.'s sexual misconduct; and was annoying because he came across as having all the answers. I'm sorry, but for as much as I applaud the seemingly countless women (and men) who have stood up and said #MeToo in recent weeks with regard to being sexually harassed or assaulted at some point in their lives, this is one battle we shouldn't be fighting.
First off, while it's true most sexual harassment and assault cases involve female victims, I'm getting a little tired of our seeming dismissal of male victims. It sometimes feels as though we hold a different standard for victims of such crimes depending on their gender. If a female is harassed or assaulted by a male, that's of course wrong. However, if a male is harassed or assaulted by a female, the question then rings, "Well, was she hot?" This is typically accompanied by such comments as, "That lucky bastard!" or "I bet you he wasn't complaining!" No matter the person's genitalia, sexual harassment and assault are wrong. Period. ...and just because most of such cases involve female victims doesn't mean we should dismiss male's opinions regarding the issue, because it's possible they were victims too.
I say all this because I'm part of the #MeToo movement. I experienced sexual abuse once as a child. Due to being threatened by the perpetrator, I stayed mum about the incident for a number of years, for fear of my life. Being as young as I was, I remember feeling extraordinarily perplexed about the ordeal, uncertain about what had occurred, yet knowing it seemed wrong, and I felt frightened to the point of suffering mass seizures. I went through the phase of blaming myself, thinking I obviously wasn't "man" enough for fighting this abuser off me. This event and mindset left me rattled for a number of years, at least partially due to the unfair stigma we attach to male victims of sexual abuse. It reached the point where I almost took my own life. I'm not saying all this to try and one-up any female victims. I'm simply saying my story shouldn't be dismissed because of my gender. All victims of sexual harassment, assault, and abuse should be heard. No one should feel excluded from this conversation and movement. We have every right to feel anger at those whom have violated us, but we shouldn't allow that anger to drown out victims' voices who have already felt neglected for a number of years.
Now that you've read the condensed version of my #MeToo story, I'll respond to Matt Damon's comments. As I suggested earlier, for as much as I applaud the seemingly countless women (and men) who have stood up and said #MeToo in recent weeks with regard to being sexually harassed or assaulted at some point in their lives, this is one battle we shouldn't be fighting. Matt Damon isn't excusing anyone of sexual harassment or assault. He's simply saying, while some people have no conscience, feel no remorse, and can't be rehabilitated, some do and can and we should focus more attention on them than those who should be permanently locked in jail. Isn't this true across the spectrum of crimes? While, at some point in time, we have to say, "He/She is a lost cause," there are other occasions where positive change is possible? Why voice support for rehabilitation if we don't believe in it? Also, like Damon said, why does it seems as though people who admit to wrongdoings and show signs of feeling remorse, like Louis C.K., receive greater backlash than those who deny, deny, deny, like Donald Trump? Trump comes across as a man who's a lost cause when it comes to his mistreatment of women. What was the result? He got elected president. Louis C.K., on the other hand, has shown signs of being rehabilitatable, yet we as a society appear to be kicking him to the curb without looking back. I'm not defending the actions of Louis C.K. or any other man or woman who has subjected people to sexual improprieties. All I'm saying is it does absolutely no good to permanently lock out all wrongdoers if we can reach and help improve some of them.
As far as Matt Damon's "continuum" comment goes, I think what's made some people angry is that, if taken in a certain light, the actor could be construed as saying some forms of sexual harassment aren't as legitimate as others, and therefore, we can't take the victims' testimonies and the pain in which they feel quite as seriously. I can understand that. However, I don't think that's what he was saying, not intentionally anyhow. Perhaps he shouldn't have worded things as such, but he's right. I've been sexually harassed before. I've had my butt smacked or grabbed. While these occasions upset me, they had nowhere near the impact as the sexual abuse I suffered. I think where Damon screwed up and what he meant to say was that all forms of sexual harassment, assault, and abuse need to be taken seriously; all voices need to be heard and not minimized; but when it comes to the public's perception of celebrities, not to mention the legal system, pretending to grab a woman's chest as part of a bad joke is a far cry from raping a person or molesting a child. While, again, I can understand the building anger we all feel about all of these cases of sexual misconduct, but let's stand back for a moment and ask ourselves how we'd feel if our child had his or her butt smacked, was raped or molested, and then ask ourselves if Matt Damon was really out of line with his comments. He may not have spoken eloquently regarding the matter, but while I picture any and every parent hating the thought of their child getting their butt unwantingly smacked, those feelings of pain and outrage would multiply exponentially if they were molested or raped.
When it comes right down to it, all voices in the #MeToo movement need to be heard. None should be dismissed for any innate (or other) reason. At the same time, sexual misconduct isn't a one-size-fits-all issue; we shouldn't judge all alleged perpetrators in the same light; and for as difficult as it may be, we need to do all we can to reach those whom have committed such misdeeds but show a sense of remorse, and help them break the cycle. If we dismiss some victims' voices and deny treatable perpetrators help, the cycle will continue. The only way to stop it is through discussion, awareness, and rehabilitation.
http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/matt-damon-opens-harvey-weinstein-sexual-harassment-confidentiality/story?id=51792548
- "I think we're in this watershed moment. I think it's great. I think it's wonderful that women are feeling empowered to tell their stories, and it's totally necessary ... I do believe that there's a spectrum of behavior, right? And we're going to have to figure - you know, there's a difference between, you know, patting someone on the butt and rape or child molestation, right? Both of those behaviors need to be confronted and eradicated without question, but they shouldn't be conflated, right? You know, we see somebody like Al Franken, right? - I personally would have preferred if they had an Ethics Committee investigation, you know what I mean? It's like at what point - you know, we're so energized to kind of get retribution, I think.
And we live in this culture of outrage and injury, and, you know, that we're going to have to correct enough to kind of go, 'Wait a minute. None of us came here perfect.' You know what I mean? ... The Louis C.K. thing, I don't know all the details. I don't do deep dives on this, but I did see his statement, which kind of, which [was] arresting to me. When he came out and said, 'I did this. I did these things. These women are telling the truth.' And I just remember thinking, 'Well, that's the sign of somebody who - well, we can work with that' ... Like, when I'm raising my kids, this constant personal responsibility is as important as anything else they learn before they go off in the world.
And the fear for me is that right now, we're in this moment where at the moment - and I hope it doesn't stay this way - the clearer signal to men and to younger people is, deny it. Because if you take responsibility for what you did, your life's going to get ruined ...
I mean, look, as I said, all of that behavior needs to be confronted, but there is a continuum. And on this end of the continuum where you have rape and child molestation or whatever, you know, that's prison. Right? And that's what needs to happen. OK? And then we can talk about rehabilitation and everything else. That's criminal behavior, and it needs to be dealt with that way. The other stuff is just kind of shameful and gross, and I just think ... I don't know Louis C.K.. I've never met him. I'm a fan of his, but I don't imagine he's going to do those things again. You know what I mean? I imagine the price that he's paid at this point is so beyond anything that he - I just think that we have to kind of start delineating between what these behaviors are."
- "When you see Al Franken taking a picture putting his hands on that woman's flak jacket and mugging for the camera, going like that, you know, that is just like a terrible joke, and it's not funny. It's wrong, and he shouldn't have done that ... But when you talk about Harvey and what he's accused of, there are no pictures of that. He knew he was up to no good. There's no witnesses. There's no pictures. There's no braggadocio ... So they don't belong in the same category."
While Damon said more in his interview, those were the two quotes which were most often cited and criticized. Not long after Damon's comments were published, social media became a mobscene, saying Damon was tone-deaf on the issue, largely because of his gender; that he was excusing Louis C.K.'s sexual misconduct; and was annoying because he came across as having all the answers. I'm sorry, but for as much as I applaud the seemingly countless women (and men) who have stood up and said #MeToo in recent weeks with regard to being sexually harassed or assaulted at some point in their lives, this is one battle we shouldn't be fighting.
First off, while it's true most sexual harassment and assault cases involve female victims, I'm getting a little tired of our seeming dismissal of male victims. It sometimes feels as though we hold a different standard for victims of such crimes depending on their gender. If a female is harassed or assaulted by a male, that's of course wrong. However, if a male is harassed or assaulted by a female, the question then rings, "Well, was she hot?" This is typically accompanied by such comments as, "That lucky bastard!" or "I bet you he wasn't complaining!" No matter the person's genitalia, sexual harassment and assault are wrong. Period. ...and just because most of such cases involve female victims doesn't mean we should dismiss male's opinions regarding the issue, because it's possible they were victims too.
I say all this because I'm part of the #MeToo movement. I experienced sexual abuse once as a child. Due to being threatened by the perpetrator, I stayed mum about the incident for a number of years, for fear of my life. Being as young as I was, I remember feeling extraordinarily perplexed about the ordeal, uncertain about what had occurred, yet knowing it seemed wrong, and I felt frightened to the point of suffering mass seizures. I went through the phase of blaming myself, thinking I obviously wasn't "man" enough for fighting this abuser off me. This event and mindset left me rattled for a number of years, at least partially due to the unfair stigma we attach to male victims of sexual abuse. It reached the point where I almost took my own life. I'm not saying all this to try and one-up any female victims. I'm simply saying my story shouldn't be dismissed because of my gender. All victims of sexual harassment, assault, and abuse should be heard. No one should feel excluded from this conversation and movement. We have every right to feel anger at those whom have violated us, but we shouldn't allow that anger to drown out victims' voices who have already felt neglected for a number of years.
Now that you've read the condensed version of my #MeToo story, I'll respond to Matt Damon's comments. As I suggested earlier, for as much as I applaud the seemingly countless women (and men) who have stood up and said #MeToo in recent weeks with regard to being sexually harassed or assaulted at some point in their lives, this is one battle we shouldn't be fighting. Matt Damon isn't excusing anyone of sexual harassment or assault. He's simply saying, while some people have no conscience, feel no remorse, and can't be rehabilitated, some do and can and we should focus more attention on them than those who should be permanently locked in jail. Isn't this true across the spectrum of crimes? While, at some point in time, we have to say, "He/She is a lost cause," there are other occasions where positive change is possible? Why voice support for rehabilitation if we don't believe in it? Also, like Damon said, why does it seems as though people who admit to wrongdoings and show signs of feeling remorse, like Louis C.K., receive greater backlash than those who deny, deny, deny, like Donald Trump? Trump comes across as a man who's a lost cause when it comes to his mistreatment of women. What was the result? He got elected president. Louis C.K., on the other hand, has shown signs of being rehabilitatable, yet we as a society appear to be kicking him to the curb without looking back. I'm not defending the actions of Louis C.K. or any other man or woman who has subjected people to sexual improprieties. All I'm saying is it does absolutely no good to permanently lock out all wrongdoers if we can reach and help improve some of them.
As far as Matt Damon's "continuum" comment goes, I think what's made some people angry is that, if taken in a certain light, the actor could be construed as saying some forms of sexual harassment aren't as legitimate as others, and therefore, we can't take the victims' testimonies and the pain in which they feel quite as seriously. I can understand that. However, I don't think that's what he was saying, not intentionally anyhow. Perhaps he shouldn't have worded things as such, but he's right. I've been sexually harassed before. I've had my butt smacked or grabbed. While these occasions upset me, they had nowhere near the impact as the sexual abuse I suffered. I think where Damon screwed up and what he meant to say was that all forms of sexual harassment, assault, and abuse need to be taken seriously; all voices need to be heard and not minimized; but when it comes to the public's perception of celebrities, not to mention the legal system, pretending to grab a woman's chest as part of a bad joke is a far cry from raping a person or molesting a child. While, again, I can understand the building anger we all feel about all of these cases of sexual misconduct, but let's stand back for a moment and ask ourselves how we'd feel if our child had his or her butt smacked, was raped or molested, and then ask ourselves if Matt Damon was really out of line with his comments. He may not have spoken eloquently regarding the matter, but while I picture any and every parent hating the thought of their child getting their butt unwantingly smacked, those feelings of pain and outrage would multiply exponentially if they were molested or raped.
When it comes right down to it, all voices in the #MeToo movement need to be heard. None should be dismissed for any innate (or other) reason. At the same time, sexual misconduct isn't a one-size-fits-all issue; we shouldn't judge all alleged perpetrators in the same light; and for as difficult as it may be, we need to do all we can to reach those whom have committed such misdeeds but show a sense of remorse, and help them break the cycle. If we dismiss some victims' voices and deny treatable perpetrators help, the cycle will continue. The only way to stop it is through discussion, awareness, and rehabilitation.
http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/matt-damon-opens-harvey-weinstein-sexual-harassment-confidentiality/story?id=51792548
Comments
Post a Comment