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What I learned in Week 16 of the NFL season...

In Week 16 of the NFL season, I learned that...

- ...Chris Long is said to enjoy his honeymoon before the wedding.

- ..."Eli's coming!" appears to hold a starkly different meaning to defenses today than it did a few years ago.

- ...the league's two main concerns are: 1) Head injuries and 2) Bringing attention to the Salvation Army.

- ...there's a 50/50 chance Jerry Jones will blame his Cowboys not making the postseason on Obamacare.

- ...the favorite for Coach of the Year has to be Jeff Fisher, for without him leaving the team after last season, the Los Angeles Rams wouldn't be the team they are today.

- ...starting quarterbacks have been placed on the endangered species list.

- ...the Cleveland Browns are so bad, Santa Claus even refused to give them coal for Christmas.

- ...the only thing worse than the Denver Broncos offense is the Grown Ups movies while sleep deprived and starving.

- ...the Detroit Lions broke the world record for gift-giving this holiday season. Good for them.

- ...Bill Belichick and James Harrison are working diligently on SpyGate 2.0.
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