While I have time, I wanted to provide a bit more information on my latest book, A Collection of Satirical Short Stories: A Bigly Clever Title, which can be purchased for $12.50 on paperback at the following link - http://www.lulu.com/author/content_revise.php?fCID=21783548.
Here's the write-up on the back cover of the book:
While in nonsensical actuality Donald Trump's campaign slogan was "Make America great again!," it probably should have been either "Make facts fake again!" or "Make bigly stinky BS smell good again!" It's appeared to be the president's goal to transform the U.S. into bizarro world, where up is down, black is white, right is wrong, left is right, and a bouquet of herpes is a popular item at supermarkets every February 14th. Cite a fact? That's fake news. Cite fake news? That's a fact. So what do we do when the leader of our country tries turning reality on its head? Resort to 24-hour all-you-can-eat buffets, binge-drinking, and laughter, not necessarily in that order. That's where author Craig Rozniecki's fifteenth book, A Collection of Satirical Short Stories: A Bigly Clever Title, will come in handy! Not only is Rozniecki's latest work more nutritious than most fast-food, it goes with alcohol like April showers with May sponge baths, and has stimulated more laughter than watching grandma rap after inhaling medical marijuana and nitrous oxide! So join Rozniecki in attempting to cope with Trump's bizarro world, as he satirizes political events, religion, race, all the light topics you're advised to talk about on a first date, in his latest book, A Collection of Satirical Short Stories: A Bigly Clever Title.
Here now is the table of contents:
Contents
Introduction - The Reality of “Fake News” - p. 11
A hoodie-wearing Bill Belichick gets stopped and frisked for looking suspicious - p. 12
Referees to give Mike Pereira the silent treatment - p. 12
Bill O'Reilly Loses Cool While Miniature Golfing - p. 13
Jesus's First Words Upon His Return - p. 14
Cop shoots marathon runner as he crosses the finish line - p. 14
Prompterless Palin Gives High School Graduation Speech - p. 15
Marilyn Manson set to make a gospel album - p. 16
Dead Nationwide kid speaks out, says "April Fools!" to the country - p. 17
Speechless Sarah Palin drops mic after giving the best speech of her career - p. 18
Sherwin-Williams rejects all "Fifty Shades of Grey" - p. 19
Giuliani: "Most wives don't love their husbands." - p. 19
The GOP holds a "We Love America" rally - p. 20
America breaks up with Rudy Giuliani - p. 23
Bill O'Reilly to release a new book, entitled, "Killing Journalism" - p. 23
Brian Williams and Bill O'Reilly get into it with a bartender - p. 25
After attending a Bible reading, the Republican Party renounces Jesus - p. 26
GOP questions Obama's birth certificate, claims Israel's Netanyahu is their real president - p. 28
Modern day conservative ironically labels himself a freedom fighter - p. 29
Anti-vaxxers are now anti-toothpaste - p. 30
George W. Bush's private emails released, first graders asked to translate - p. 31
Hillary Clinton teaches Lindsey Graham how to send emails - p. 32
God's Political Admission - p. 33
Future Dance Instructor Floyd Mayweather - p. 35
John McClane; Jack Bauer; Rambo; Elmer Fudd; and Walker, Texas Ranger to join the GOP presidential race - p. 36
GOP proposes handing out drivers licenses without taking written, visual, or driving tests - p. 39
Donald Trump recites poems on open mic night - p. 40
Fact-checkers give up 48 hours after the debates - p. 41
Donald Trump takes obesity fight literally - p. 43
Fox & Friends introduce the game "The Six Degrees of Black Lives Matter" - p. 44
Mike Huckabee to become husband #5 for Kim Davis - p. 48
6-year-old Tommy Piledriver becomes the latest GOP spokesperson - p. 49
Introducing the new Republican talking Barbie doll - p. 50
GOP guarantees victory after presenting a black lesbian as their nominee - p. 52
Scott Walker, at 0% support, drops out of the race to help defeat Donald Trump - p. 53
Conservatives start the "All Lives Sort Of Matter" movement - p. 54
Lack of vacation days leads to another government shutdown - p. 55
If they win the election, the GOP promises a permanent government shutdown - p. 56
The secret recipe of happiness according to the party of no - p. 57
Ben Carson makes a self-defense video - p. 58
Stoner Jeb's new campaign slogan - p. 59
Dubya Mentors Jeb - p. 60
Trump, Carson, and Fiorina suffered great confusion, migraines, & panic attacks hearing substantive debate answers - p. 61
Math Professor Jason Chaffetz - p. 62
GOP provides a gay marriage-gun violence link - p. 63
Marco Rubio has a dream! - p. 64
The GOP candidates make their debate demands - p. 65
Jeb's ever-changing campaign slogan - p. 66
Ben Carson unveils radical domestic Middle East strategy - p. 67
The best memory, the best sources, the best everything - p. 68
GOP candidates write New York Times op-ed - p. 68
GOP says it's too soon to talk about terrorism - p. 69
Donald Trump roasts everyone - p. 70
Donald Trump's genius plan - p. 71
Trump crosses "being known as the biggest a-hole in the world" off his bucket list - p. 72
Ben Carson preps for debate - p. 73
Trump focuses on himself during friend's eulogy - p. 73
Coach Rubio down 30 and confident - p. 74
Trump blames Jewish protesters for anger and violence at Nazi rally - p. 74
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell speaks out against "moocher 'Muricans" while on permanent vacation - p. 75
The party of family values selects Satan as its nominee - p. 77
Donald Trump Wins National Modesty Award - p. 78
Donald Trump celebrates National High Five Day - p. 79
Loser of the NFC Championship game, coach Ted Cruz announces his Super Bowl starting quarterback - p. 80
GOP promises to protect country from Muslim unicorns - p. 80
Protect the lives of puppy-monkey-babies! - p. 81
Donald Trump celebrates Cinco de Mayo - p. 82
Three months after Kasich gets KO'ed, he concedes defeat - p. 83
Louisville, Kentucky's record-breaking 2-minute concert - p. 83
Breaking Worthless News - p. 84
GOP forgives Trump after claiming his purge-the-families-of-Republican-Congresspeople idea was just a suggestion - p. 85
Louie Gohmert proposes nun-space-colony bill - p. 86
According to Joni Ernst, bread bags aren't just made for walking... - p. 86
GOP goes with a virgin surgeon over an experienced one - p. 87
The Inevitable Plagiartastic Donald Trump Speech - p. 88
Trump's Gettysburg Address - p. 88
GOP surprised giving the keys to a 6-year-old resulted in an accident - p. 89
The Good Die Now Act - p. 90
"Fewer Schools, More Smarter People" - p. 90
Sean Spicer takes kids' questions on Career Day - p. 92
Paul Ryan's balls join eHarmony - p. 95
GOP shocks the world by saying witnesses were of greater importance than Jesus's crucifixion - p. 96
With his approval numbers dropping, Trump takes credit for Obamacare - p. 96
Trump names May National Monogamy Appreciation month - p. 98
Trump promises to bring back VCR jobs - p. 98
Paul Ryan signs prenup without reading it - p. 99
GOP House passes the ASCA (American Steal Cars Act) - p. 100
Trump celebrates booking Pavarotti concert - p. 101
GOP House passes car insurance reform - p. 101
President Trump proposes the Obummer ban - p. 102
Conspiracies are facts and facts are conspiracies - p. 102
Jeff Sessions cannot recall what he had for breakfast 5 minutes ago - p. 104
GOP ponders dropping elephants on people - p. 106
Trump breaks the world record for signed blank pieces of paper - p. 107
Donald Trump punches child, demands apology - p. 108
Rick Perry talks earth-sizing - p. 109
NFL GM Donald Trump releases all players and fires all coaches - p. 109
After one game, new Yankees manager Donald Trump takes credit for team's 99-game win streak - p. 110
Climate change-denier Jim Inhofe claims the off-season proves balls aren't juiced in the major leagues - p. 110
Hurricane Gunfire - p. 111
Trump Sabotages VehicleCare - p. 112
Acknowledgements - p. 113
About the Author - p. 114
Lastly (for now), here is the book's introduction:
Introduction - The Reality of “Fake News”
Ever since Donald Trump began running for president, the term fake news has been hotter than an oven-baked Heidi Klum when she was a 10. Anything from mainstream news articles to obvious propaganda to satire to old embarrassing unphotoshopped wedding photos have been referred to as fake news. So what is fake news? What it all comes down to is intent and follow-through. With mainstream news articles, the intent is to educate the public, and most of the time they’re successful in doing so. Just because one doesn’t want to believe the article doesn’t make it fake. If a New York Times article is titled, “Wife Uses KFC Spork to Chop Off Cheating Husband’s Penis While Listening to Bryan Adams’s ‘Cuts Like a Knife,” and there’s evidence to prove its accuracy, whether we’re that man or not, it’s true. When it comes to propaganda, the intent is to mislead readers into believing a lie to help enforce a political agenda. Again, whether or not we want to believe what the article suggests, it’s false. If a WorldNetDaily article seriously suggests that Barack Obama is both an illegal alien and an alien from a planet by the name of Kenya Kantcha, this is false. The intent of satire is to stimulate laughter while making a point, which may be exaggerated, but based of real life events. If George Carlin were to write the Bible, it’d likely be classified as satire, for he’d provide parables to teach the world some valuable lessons, yet integrate humor into the mix. So to sum up, mainstream news means real news, satire means exaggerated news in the form of comedy to make a larger point, and propaganda means bat-shit crazy fake news. That brings us to Craig Rozniecki’s fifteenth book, A Collection of Satirical Short Stories: A Bigly Clever Title. In this book, Rozniecki shares 100 satirical short stories which tackle serious subjects from Donald Trump to police brutality, from anti-vaxxers to Fifty Shades of Grey, from global warming to Marilyn Manson gospel albums, and beyond. In it, he’ll consistently provide you the truth through comedy, exaggeration, and a level of ridiculousness so over-the-top, it makes a Michael Bay film look like The Sound of Music. So enjoy A Collection of Satirical Short Stories: A Bigly Clever Title, which uses real news to poke fun of fake news.
Once again, the book can be ordered on paperback for $12.50 at the following link. Enjoy! - http://www.lulu.com/author/content_revise.php?fCID=21783548
Here's the write-up on the back cover of the book:
While in nonsensical actuality Donald Trump's campaign slogan was "Make America great again!," it probably should have been either "Make facts fake again!" or "Make bigly stinky BS smell good again!" It's appeared to be the president's goal to transform the U.S. into bizarro world, where up is down, black is white, right is wrong, left is right, and a bouquet of herpes is a popular item at supermarkets every February 14th. Cite a fact? That's fake news. Cite fake news? That's a fact. So what do we do when the leader of our country tries turning reality on its head? Resort to 24-hour all-you-can-eat buffets, binge-drinking, and laughter, not necessarily in that order. That's where author Craig Rozniecki's fifteenth book, A Collection of Satirical Short Stories: A Bigly Clever Title, will come in handy! Not only is Rozniecki's latest work more nutritious than most fast-food, it goes with alcohol like April showers with May sponge baths, and has stimulated more laughter than watching grandma rap after inhaling medical marijuana and nitrous oxide! So join Rozniecki in attempting to cope with Trump's bizarro world, as he satirizes political events, religion, race, all the light topics you're advised to talk about on a first date, in his latest book, A Collection of Satirical Short Stories: A Bigly Clever Title.
Here now is the table of contents:
Contents
Introduction - The Reality of “Fake News” - p. 11
A hoodie-wearing Bill Belichick gets stopped and frisked for looking suspicious - p. 12
Referees to give Mike Pereira the silent treatment - p. 12
Bill O'Reilly Loses Cool While Miniature Golfing - p. 13
Jesus's First Words Upon His Return - p. 14
Cop shoots marathon runner as he crosses the finish line - p. 14
Prompterless Palin Gives High School Graduation Speech - p. 15
Marilyn Manson set to make a gospel album - p. 16
Dead Nationwide kid speaks out, says "April Fools!" to the country - p. 17
Speechless Sarah Palin drops mic after giving the best speech of her career - p. 18
Sherwin-Williams rejects all "Fifty Shades of Grey" - p. 19
Giuliani: "Most wives don't love their husbands." - p. 19
The GOP holds a "We Love America" rally - p. 20
America breaks up with Rudy Giuliani - p. 23
Bill O'Reilly to release a new book, entitled, "Killing Journalism" - p. 23
Brian Williams and Bill O'Reilly get into it with a bartender - p. 25
After attending a Bible reading, the Republican Party renounces Jesus - p. 26
GOP questions Obama's birth certificate, claims Israel's Netanyahu is their real president - p. 28
Modern day conservative ironically labels himself a freedom fighter - p. 29
Anti-vaxxers are now anti-toothpaste - p. 30
George W. Bush's private emails released, first graders asked to translate - p. 31
Hillary Clinton teaches Lindsey Graham how to send emails - p. 32
God's Political Admission - p. 33
Future Dance Instructor Floyd Mayweather - p. 35
John McClane; Jack Bauer; Rambo; Elmer Fudd; and Walker, Texas Ranger to join the GOP presidential race - p. 36
GOP proposes handing out drivers licenses without taking written, visual, or driving tests - p. 39
Donald Trump recites poems on open mic night - p. 40
Fact-checkers give up 48 hours after the debates - p. 41
Donald Trump takes obesity fight literally - p. 43
Fox & Friends introduce the game "The Six Degrees of Black Lives Matter" - p. 44
Mike Huckabee to become husband #5 for Kim Davis - p. 48
6-year-old Tommy Piledriver becomes the latest GOP spokesperson - p. 49
Introducing the new Republican talking Barbie doll - p. 50
GOP guarantees victory after presenting a black lesbian as their nominee - p. 52
Scott Walker, at 0% support, drops out of the race to help defeat Donald Trump - p. 53
Conservatives start the "All Lives Sort Of Matter" movement - p. 54
Lack of vacation days leads to another government shutdown - p. 55
If they win the election, the GOP promises a permanent government shutdown - p. 56
The secret recipe of happiness according to the party of no - p. 57
Ben Carson makes a self-defense video - p. 58
Stoner Jeb's new campaign slogan - p. 59
Dubya Mentors Jeb - p. 60
Trump, Carson, and Fiorina suffered great confusion, migraines, & panic attacks hearing substantive debate answers - p. 61
Math Professor Jason Chaffetz - p. 62
GOP provides a gay marriage-gun violence link - p. 63
Marco Rubio has a dream! - p. 64
The GOP candidates make their debate demands - p. 65
Jeb's ever-changing campaign slogan - p. 66
Ben Carson unveils radical domestic Middle East strategy - p. 67
The best memory, the best sources, the best everything - p. 68
GOP candidates write New York Times op-ed - p. 68
GOP says it's too soon to talk about terrorism - p. 69
Donald Trump roasts everyone - p. 70
Donald Trump's genius plan - p. 71
Trump crosses "being known as the biggest a-hole in the world" off his bucket list - p. 72
Ben Carson preps for debate - p. 73
Trump focuses on himself during friend's eulogy - p. 73
Coach Rubio down 30 and confident - p. 74
Trump blames Jewish protesters for anger and violence at Nazi rally - p. 74
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell speaks out against "moocher 'Muricans" while on permanent vacation - p. 75
The party of family values selects Satan as its nominee - p. 77
Donald Trump Wins National Modesty Award - p. 78
Donald Trump celebrates National High Five Day - p. 79
Loser of the NFC Championship game, coach Ted Cruz announces his Super Bowl starting quarterback - p. 80
GOP promises to protect country from Muslim unicorns - p. 80
Protect the lives of puppy-monkey-babies! - p. 81
Donald Trump celebrates Cinco de Mayo - p. 82
Three months after Kasich gets KO'ed, he concedes defeat - p. 83
Louisville, Kentucky's record-breaking 2-minute concert - p. 83
Breaking Worthless News - p. 84
GOP forgives Trump after claiming his purge-the-families-of-Republican-Congresspeople idea was just a suggestion - p. 85
Louie Gohmert proposes nun-space-colony bill - p. 86
According to Joni Ernst, bread bags aren't just made for walking... - p. 86
GOP goes with a virgin surgeon over an experienced one - p. 87
The Inevitable Plagiartastic Donald Trump Speech - p. 88
Trump's Gettysburg Address - p. 88
GOP surprised giving the keys to a 6-year-old resulted in an accident - p. 89
The Good Die Now Act - p. 90
"Fewer Schools, More Smarter People" - p. 90
Sean Spicer takes kids' questions on Career Day - p. 92
Paul Ryan's balls join eHarmony - p. 95
GOP shocks the world by saying witnesses were of greater importance than Jesus's crucifixion - p. 96
With his approval numbers dropping, Trump takes credit for Obamacare - p. 96
Trump names May National Monogamy Appreciation month - p. 98
Trump promises to bring back VCR jobs - p. 98
Paul Ryan signs prenup without reading it - p. 99
GOP House passes the ASCA (American Steal Cars Act) - p. 100
Trump celebrates booking Pavarotti concert - p. 101
GOP House passes car insurance reform - p. 101
President Trump proposes the Obummer ban - p. 102
Conspiracies are facts and facts are conspiracies - p. 102
Jeff Sessions cannot recall what he had for breakfast 5 minutes ago - p. 104
GOP ponders dropping elephants on people - p. 106
Trump breaks the world record for signed blank pieces of paper - p. 107
Donald Trump punches child, demands apology - p. 108
Rick Perry talks earth-sizing - p. 109
NFL GM Donald Trump releases all players and fires all coaches - p. 109
After one game, new Yankees manager Donald Trump takes credit for team's 99-game win streak - p. 110
Climate change-denier Jim Inhofe claims the off-season proves balls aren't juiced in the major leagues - p. 110
Hurricane Gunfire - p. 111
Trump Sabotages VehicleCare - p. 112
Acknowledgements - p. 113
About the Author - p. 114
Lastly (for now), here is the book's introduction:
Introduction - The Reality of “Fake News”
Ever since Donald Trump began running for president, the term fake news has been hotter than an oven-baked Heidi Klum when she was a 10. Anything from mainstream news articles to obvious propaganda to satire to old embarrassing unphotoshopped wedding photos have been referred to as fake news. So what is fake news? What it all comes down to is intent and follow-through. With mainstream news articles, the intent is to educate the public, and most of the time they’re successful in doing so. Just because one doesn’t want to believe the article doesn’t make it fake. If a New York Times article is titled, “Wife Uses KFC Spork to Chop Off Cheating Husband’s Penis While Listening to Bryan Adams’s ‘Cuts Like a Knife,” and there’s evidence to prove its accuracy, whether we’re that man or not, it’s true. When it comes to propaganda, the intent is to mislead readers into believing a lie to help enforce a political agenda. Again, whether or not we want to believe what the article suggests, it’s false. If a WorldNetDaily article seriously suggests that Barack Obama is both an illegal alien and an alien from a planet by the name of Kenya Kantcha, this is false. The intent of satire is to stimulate laughter while making a point, which may be exaggerated, but based of real life events. If George Carlin were to write the Bible, it’d likely be classified as satire, for he’d provide parables to teach the world some valuable lessons, yet integrate humor into the mix. So to sum up, mainstream news means real news, satire means exaggerated news in the form of comedy to make a larger point, and propaganda means bat-shit crazy fake news. That brings us to Craig Rozniecki’s fifteenth book, A Collection of Satirical Short Stories: A Bigly Clever Title. In this book, Rozniecki shares 100 satirical short stories which tackle serious subjects from Donald Trump to police brutality, from anti-vaxxers to Fifty Shades of Grey, from global warming to Marilyn Manson gospel albums, and beyond. In it, he’ll consistently provide you the truth through comedy, exaggeration, and a level of ridiculousness so over-the-top, it makes a Michael Bay film look like The Sound of Music. So enjoy A Collection of Satirical Short Stories: A Bigly Clever Title, which uses real news to poke fun of fake news.
Once again, the book can be ordered on paperback for $12.50 at the following link. Enjoy! - http://www.lulu.com/author/content_revise.php?fCID=21783548
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