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#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews

I had some fun with the trending hashtag #ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews on Twitter the other day. Here are my posts, ordered from the most popular to the least popular (all my tweets can be viewed at this site - https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki):

1) Stevie Wonder as my Uber driver
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
699 Likes, 195 Retweets

2) A psychic who has to reschedule our appointment
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
90 Likes, 23 Retweets

3) Edward Scissorhands in a game of patty-cake
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
75 Likes, 16 Retweets

4) Text messages after drinking a bottle of wine and suddenly thinking everyone else is up at 3 in the morning
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
61 Likes, 18 Retweets

5) Drunken CNN anchors trying to intentionally fail a polygraph
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
44 Likes, 14 Retweets

6) An Indian restaurant, featuring only white employees, with an owner who calls himself Columbus
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
34 Likes, 8 Retweets

7) Someone who plays chess with Monopoly pieces and continually shouts that he took your thimble because of a self-made Community Chest card
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
30 Likes, 7 Retweets

8) Getting directions from a stoned and dyslexic Siri
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
30 Likes, 6 Retweets

9) Newborns' grasp of quantum physics
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
30 Likes, 5 Retweets

9) The Cleveland Browns winning more games in a season than Donald Trump has marriages
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
32 Likes, 3 Retweets

11) Amish dating sites
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
27 Likes, 6 Retweets

12) A doctor who attempts to make chit-chat with a corpse at a funeral
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
22 Likes, 9 Retweets

13) A giraffe wearing high-heels, doing the limbo
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
25 Likes, 5 Retweets

13) An alcoholic counselor who tells you to "Shoot for the bars!"
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
26 Likes, 4 Retweets

15) Mitch McConnell starring as Leonardo in the next "Ninja Turtle" movie
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
22 Likes, 6 Retweets

15) A 3 am infomercial, selling a video entitled, "How To Win Yesterday's Lottery"
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
24 Likes, 4 Retweets

17) A broken clock which finds a way to be right only once a day
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
20 Likes, 7 Retweets

18) The country of Nambia becoming a democracy
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
22 Likes, 4 Retweets

19) A Captain Hook full-body massage
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
18 Likes, 7 Retweets

20) An alleged drug dealer name Sheriff Gotcha
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
18 Likes, 6 Retweets

20) A law firm called Liar Lawyer Liars
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
21 Likes, 3 Retweets

22) Someone singing the "Star-Spangled Banner" with Trump dentures
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
19 Likes, 4 Retweets

23) Flat-earther astronauts
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
18 Likes, 4 Retweets

23) A tarot card reader who continually tells me, "Go fish!"
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
20 Likes, 2 Retweets

25) A sloth at a 40-meter dash
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
14 Likes, 7 Retweets

25) A virgin praying for octuplets
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
16 Likes, 5 Retweets

27) That 5th dentist...
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
#FourOutOfFiveDentistsAgree
15 Likes, 5 Retweets

28) A 6-second ab workout
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
15 Likes, 3 Retweets

29) A first date at a bar called Not So Happy Endings
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
15 Likes, 2 Retweets

30) Tom Brady's deflated balls
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
14 Likes, 2 Retweets

30) A mime doing my eulogy
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
15 Likes, 1 Retweet

30) A melted snowman fighting the War on Christmas
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
15 Likes, 1 Retweet

33) A cat with only four lives, who goes by the name Lucky
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
11 Likes, 4 Retweets

33) Calling tails on a two-headed coin
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
15 Likes, 0 Retweets

35) Turning a piggy bank into bacon
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
9 Likes, 5 Retweets

35) A palm reader who holds my elbows
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
12 Likes, 2 Retweets

35) A get-rich-quick scheme called "Suckers!"
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
12 Likes, 2 Retweets

38) The decision-making skills of inevitable horror film victims
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
10 Likes, 3 Retweets

38) People with the birth name Tricky Rick
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
11 Likes, 2 Retweets

38) A Titanic sequel
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
13 Likes, 0 Retweets

41) A storm which goes by the name Hurricane Apocalypse Now
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
9 Likes, 2 Retweets

41) A Ben Stein motivational speech, entitled, "Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?"
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
10 Likes, 1 Retweet

41) A crash test dummy pilot
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
10 Likes, 1 Retweet

44) A broken down Prius at a drag race
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
7 Likes, 3 Retweets

44) A fortune which reads, "Your Luck will soon change once you cross paths with a six-horned unicorn."
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
8 Likes, 2 Retweets

44)Hallmark Christmas movies at Oscar time
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
8 Likes, 2 Retweets

44) That, regardless of the weapon which was used, Donald Trump committed the crime in the library
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews #ImGuessingLeadPipe
9 Likes, 1 Retweet

44) A hungover Grumpy Smurf
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
9 Likes, 1 Retweet

49) A robot who goes by the name Stiffy entering a break-dance competition
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
6 Likes, 2 Retweets

49) A book entitled, "Bullsh*ttery 101: How To Bullsh*t a Bullsh*tter"
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
7 Likes, 1 Retweet

49) Don King's hair during a Category 5 hurricane
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
8 Likes, 0 Retweets

49) An obese frat brother's BnB diet (Beer 'n' Bacon)
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
8 Likes, 0 Retweets

49) A Super Soaker at an Old West fast draw
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
8 Likes, 0 Retweets

54) After moaning they love you during coitus, your partner saying, "You know I just want to be friends, right?"
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
#SheldonCooperWordUsage
5 Likes, 2 Retweets

54) An ant doing hurdles
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
6 Likes, 1 Retweet

54) 2017 New Year's resolutions made on December 31st of that year
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
7 Likes, 0 Retweets

57) A horoscope written by an increasingly long-nosed Pinocchio
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
5 Likes, 1 Retweet

58) A man who goes by the name Dudley McDuddington starring in a Dos Equis commercial
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
2 Likes, 1 Retweet

Totals: 1,771 Likes, 431 Retweets (Averages of 30.5 Likes, 7.4 Retweets)
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