Online dating is an interesting phenomenon which appears to be steadily growing in popularity. While I've given such sites a gander on multiple occasions, despite its growing popularity, I see many pros and cons about such sites.
As far as pros go, I think the main one is, unlike when attempting to start a conversation with someone at a bar and only going off their physical appearance to prompt you to do so, these sites provide a great deal more information, which can be quite helpful. As I've always said, no matter how physically attractive a person might be, that attraction can only hold my interest for so long before I get bored and lose complete interest in getting to know her better, and I start thinking, "Well, if I had known she couldn't hold a decent conversation before approaching her, I would have saved myself this headache and not talked to her at all." At least with online profiles, it can save people time, energy, and money on Advil, because they'll have a hefty amount of information in front of them, and can then decide whether or not to initiate a conversation with the other person or respond to a message they were sent.
When it comes to cons, the most glaring of which appears to typically be different for men and women. For women, they simply receive a much larger quantity of emails than men, and unfortunately, some of these messages are so perverse, they often times result in the sender getting blocked or kicked off the site. Often times, women (especially women with pictures, and attractive ones at that) will get so overloaded with emails that they won't have the time to go through them all and will wind up deactivating their accounts as a result. For men, the main con is the fact that due to the numbers, the odds are much less in our favor of receiving a response and making the communication last than it is for women. Business Insider conducted a study on the matter, and it showed that while women have a 17.5% chance of receiving a response from a man around their age, men have just a 4% chance of receiving a response from a woman around their age. Looking at things a bit deeper, the average man will have a 50% chance of receiving at least one response if he messages 18 women, whereas for the average woman, she'll have a 50% chance of receiving at least one response if she messages just 5 men. If we want to be 90% certain we'll receive at least one response, women would have to send 13 messages and men would have to send 58. If we want to 99% certain we'll receive at least one response, women would have to send 25 messages and men would have to send 114. Based on these numbers, while I've never resorted to such a tactic, it's no wonder that some guys give up attempting to personalize their messages and just copy and paste the same message to 114 different women.
In having experienced and researched online dating, it comes across to me as the biggest bar in the world with a futuristic quality to it, where while wearing special glasses and looking at a member, a person can read all of another's profile information before deciding whether or not to start a conversation. Given the drastically different experiences men and women tend to have on such sites, as I mentioned previously, I wonder how this would play out in an actual bar-type of setting (no, not a futuristic one). I'll attempt to explore that from both a woman's and man's perspective.
Setting: A bar by the name of Horndogs
Perspective: Woman's
:: a long line forms to talk to a pretty woman sitting at the bar ::
Jeremy Wienerschnitzel: "So, like, you're hot and stuff...""
Susanna Oh: "Thanks"
Jeremy: "That's it?"
Susanna: "Do you have anything else to say?"
Jeremy: "Uh, like, no"
Susanna: "Okay, next..."
Justin Timberflake: "Hi"
Susanna: "Hello"
Justin: "How's it going?"
Susanna: "Fine, and yourself?"
Justin: "Pretty good"
Susanna: "...and?"
Justin: "...and what?"
Susanna: "Okay, next..."
Jerome Yankmyjunk: "Hey hot stuff. So, how's abouts we go back to my pick-up truck and we take selfies of each other completely naked?"
Susanna: "Yuck! No! ...and doesn't 'selfie' imply you're taking a picture of yourself? How could we then take 'selfies' of one another?"
Jerome: "Baby, you don't know whatcha missing... ...and come on - who cares? How about myselfie and yourselfie get our selfies into my truck and..."
Susanna: "Please leave... Okay, next..."
Chester Saintly: "Well, hello there."
Susanna: "Hi"
Chester: "My name's Chester. What's yours?"
Susanna: "Susanna"
Chester: "Well, it's nice to meet you, Susanna. Are you from around here?"
Susanna: "Just moved here about a year ago actually."
Chester: "That's very cool. I haven't lived her too long either. Where are you from?"
Susanna: "Cleveland"
Chester: "Ah, very nice. I've been there a few times. I loved checking out the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame there. What kind of music do you like?"
Susanna: "Chester, look, you seem like a really nice guy, but based on all these other morons and perverts I've met tonight, I'm having a hard time believing you are who you present yourself to be, so let's please end this conversation before something goes wrong."
Chester: "Oh, okay, well, here's my number if you ever change your mind."
Susanna: "Alright, okay, next..."
Douglas Schwingometer: "Damn, girl! You so fine, I'm going to make you mine! How about..."
Susanna: "How about never? Okay, next..."
Bruce Somighty: :: flexes his biceps :: "So, do you like guys with big arms and small dingalings because of steroids?"
Susanna: :: gasps :: "Next!"
Justin Beaver: "I want you to have my babies!"
Susanna: "Okay, that's it! I've had it! I'm leaving! Chester, I'll call you."
Setting: At a bar by the name of All By Himself
Perspective: Men's
Christopher Studly: :: looks around, twiddles his thumbs :: "I'm so nervous tonight!"
Bartender James Beam: "How come?"
Christopher: "I just emailed 114 women in the area to meet me here."
James: "114? Holy crap! Business will be rocking tonight!"
Christopher: "Well, I don't know. I sent them all a few days ago and haven't heard back from any of them yet."
James: "Keep your head up, kid. Out of 114, I'd think at least 20 or 30 will show up, you know? What time did you tell them you'd be here?"
Christopher: "I said about 7 pm. What time is it?"
James: "11:30"
Christopher: "It's just not my night, I guess, is it?"
James: "I guess not and I'm really sorry to hear about that - I could use the business. Wait, who's that walking through the door there?"
Christopher: "That's it! That's her! She's the one!"
James: "Oh yeah? Which one of the 114 is she?"
Christopher: "Crap! I don't know! But, whoever it is - whether it's BMineValentine69, ShortAndPuffy1907, or AlwaysPMSn, she's the one for me; I'm telling you!"
Ginger Spicecake: "Hey, Chris, right?"
Christopher: "Yeah! Most people call me Christopher, but you can call me Chris...."
Ginger: "It's Ginger."
Christopher: "I was just going to say that! I'm so glad you could make it, Ginger. Pretty name by the way."
Ginger: "Yeah, well, I was bored and didn't have much else to do, so I thought, why not take a chance, you know?"
Christopher: "Awesome! So, can I buy you a drink?"
Ginger: "Yeah, sure. I'll have a Cosmo."
Christopher: "That'll be one Cosmo. Please put that on my tab. Thanks."
Ginger: :: takes a sip of her drink, checks her phone :: "Oh, I'm sorry to do this to you, Chris, but another member on the site - some guy that goes by the name FreeFootlong - just asked me to go to his place, so I think I'm going to head over there. It was nice meeting you. If his screen name was inaccurate at all, I'll think about getting back in touch with you. Take care."
Christopher: "Okay, you too, Ginger."
Bartender James Beam: "Sorry about that, man. Do you want me to get rid of that Cosmo?"
Christopher: "No thanks. I might as well finish it."
James: "Maybe she wasn't the one after all, you know?"
Christopher: "Yeah, well, I screwed it all up at the beginning - not remembering her user name or actual name. If I had just remembered her user name, I probably would have remembered that her actual name was Ginger."
James: "So what was her user name?"
Christopher: "Firecrotch"
James: "Wow - that's pretty hot..."
Christopher: "Yeah, I bet it is..."
James: "No, no... I was saying it was pretty hot - 'fire'crotch. Get it? Nevermind..."
Christopher: "Oh, that's very funny."
James: "Oh, here comes another one. Nevermind - it's a dude."
Christopher: "That could be the one too!"
James: "Say what?"
Christopher: "Well, I guess I figured if I wound up going 0 for 114 with women, I should probably keep my options open, so I asked two guys to meet me here too."
James: "Two you say? Here comes another one."
Christopher: "Crap!"
http://www.businessinsider.com/online-dating-message-statistics-2013-7
http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/online-dating-tips-advice/is-online-dating-different-for-men-and-women/
As far as pros go, I think the main one is, unlike when attempting to start a conversation with someone at a bar and only going off their physical appearance to prompt you to do so, these sites provide a great deal more information, which can be quite helpful. As I've always said, no matter how physically attractive a person might be, that attraction can only hold my interest for so long before I get bored and lose complete interest in getting to know her better, and I start thinking, "Well, if I had known she couldn't hold a decent conversation before approaching her, I would have saved myself this headache and not talked to her at all." At least with online profiles, it can save people time, energy, and money on Advil, because they'll have a hefty amount of information in front of them, and can then decide whether or not to initiate a conversation with the other person or respond to a message they were sent.
When it comes to cons, the most glaring of which appears to typically be different for men and women. For women, they simply receive a much larger quantity of emails than men, and unfortunately, some of these messages are so perverse, they often times result in the sender getting blocked or kicked off the site. Often times, women (especially women with pictures, and attractive ones at that) will get so overloaded with emails that they won't have the time to go through them all and will wind up deactivating their accounts as a result. For men, the main con is the fact that due to the numbers, the odds are much less in our favor of receiving a response and making the communication last than it is for women. Business Insider conducted a study on the matter, and it showed that while women have a 17.5% chance of receiving a response from a man around their age, men have just a 4% chance of receiving a response from a woman around their age. Looking at things a bit deeper, the average man will have a 50% chance of receiving at least one response if he messages 18 women, whereas for the average woman, she'll have a 50% chance of receiving at least one response if she messages just 5 men. If we want to be 90% certain we'll receive at least one response, women would have to send 13 messages and men would have to send 58. If we want to 99% certain we'll receive at least one response, women would have to send 25 messages and men would have to send 114. Based on these numbers, while I've never resorted to such a tactic, it's no wonder that some guys give up attempting to personalize their messages and just copy and paste the same message to 114 different women.
In having experienced and researched online dating, it comes across to me as the biggest bar in the world with a futuristic quality to it, where while wearing special glasses and looking at a member, a person can read all of another's profile information before deciding whether or not to start a conversation. Given the drastically different experiences men and women tend to have on such sites, as I mentioned previously, I wonder how this would play out in an actual bar-type of setting (no, not a futuristic one). I'll attempt to explore that from both a woman's and man's perspective.
Setting: A bar by the name of Horndogs
Perspective: Woman's
:: a long line forms to talk to a pretty woman sitting at the bar ::
Jeremy Wienerschnitzel: "So, like, you're hot and stuff...""
Susanna Oh: "Thanks"
Jeremy: "That's it?"
Susanna: "Do you have anything else to say?"
Jeremy: "Uh, like, no"
Susanna: "Okay, next..."
Justin Timberflake: "Hi"
Susanna: "Hello"
Justin: "How's it going?"
Susanna: "Fine, and yourself?"
Justin: "Pretty good"
Susanna: "...and?"
Justin: "...and what?"
Susanna: "Okay, next..."
Jerome Yankmyjunk: "Hey hot stuff. So, how's abouts we go back to my pick-up truck and we take selfies of each other completely naked?"
Susanna: "Yuck! No! ...and doesn't 'selfie' imply you're taking a picture of yourself? How could we then take 'selfies' of one another?"
Jerome: "Baby, you don't know whatcha missing... ...and come on - who cares? How about myselfie and yourselfie get our selfies into my truck and..."
Susanna: "Please leave... Okay, next..."
Chester Saintly: "Well, hello there."
Susanna: "Hi"
Chester: "My name's Chester. What's yours?"
Susanna: "Susanna"
Chester: "Well, it's nice to meet you, Susanna. Are you from around here?"
Susanna: "Just moved here about a year ago actually."
Chester: "That's very cool. I haven't lived her too long either. Where are you from?"
Susanna: "Cleveland"
Chester: "Ah, very nice. I've been there a few times. I loved checking out the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame there. What kind of music do you like?"
Susanna: "Chester, look, you seem like a really nice guy, but based on all these other morons and perverts I've met tonight, I'm having a hard time believing you are who you present yourself to be, so let's please end this conversation before something goes wrong."
Chester: "Oh, okay, well, here's my number if you ever change your mind."
Susanna: "Alright, okay, next..."
Douglas Schwingometer: "Damn, girl! You so fine, I'm going to make you mine! How about..."
Susanna: "How about never? Okay, next..."
Bruce Somighty: :: flexes his biceps :: "So, do you like guys with big arms and small dingalings because of steroids?"
Susanna: :: gasps :: "Next!"
Justin Beaver: "I want you to have my babies!"
Susanna: "Okay, that's it! I've had it! I'm leaving! Chester, I'll call you."
Setting: At a bar by the name of All By Himself
Perspective: Men's
Christopher Studly: :: looks around, twiddles his thumbs :: "I'm so nervous tonight!"
Bartender James Beam: "How come?"
Christopher: "I just emailed 114 women in the area to meet me here."
James: "114? Holy crap! Business will be rocking tonight!"
Christopher: "Well, I don't know. I sent them all a few days ago and haven't heard back from any of them yet."
James: "Keep your head up, kid. Out of 114, I'd think at least 20 or 30 will show up, you know? What time did you tell them you'd be here?"
Christopher: "I said about 7 pm. What time is it?"
James: "11:30"
Christopher: "It's just not my night, I guess, is it?"
James: "I guess not and I'm really sorry to hear about that - I could use the business. Wait, who's that walking through the door there?"
Christopher: "That's it! That's her! She's the one!"
James: "Oh yeah? Which one of the 114 is she?"
Christopher: "Crap! I don't know! But, whoever it is - whether it's BMineValentine69, ShortAndPuffy1907, or AlwaysPMSn, she's the one for me; I'm telling you!"
Ginger Spicecake: "Hey, Chris, right?"
Christopher: "Yeah! Most people call me Christopher, but you can call me Chris...."
Ginger: "It's Ginger."
Christopher: "I was just going to say that! I'm so glad you could make it, Ginger. Pretty name by the way."
Ginger: "Yeah, well, I was bored and didn't have much else to do, so I thought, why not take a chance, you know?"
Christopher: "Awesome! So, can I buy you a drink?"
Ginger: "Yeah, sure. I'll have a Cosmo."
Christopher: "That'll be one Cosmo. Please put that on my tab. Thanks."
Ginger: :: takes a sip of her drink, checks her phone :: "Oh, I'm sorry to do this to you, Chris, but another member on the site - some guy that goes by the name FreeFootlong - just asked me to go to his place, so I think I'm going to head over there. It was nice meeting you. If his screen name was inaccurate at all, I'll think about getting back in touch with you. Take care."
Christopher: "Okay, you too, Ginger."
Bartender James Beam: "Sorry about that, man. Do you want me to get rid of that Cosmo?"
Christopher: "No thanks. I might as well finish it."
James: "Maybe she wasn't the one after all, you know?"
Christopher: "Yeah, well, I screwed it all up at the beginning - not remembering her user name or actual name. If I had just remembered her user name, I probably would have remembered that her actual name was Ginger."
James: "So what was her user name?"
Christopher: "Firecrotch"
James: "Wow - that's pretty hot..."
Christopher: "Yeah, I bet it is..."
James: "No, no... I was saying it was pretty hot - 'fire'crotch. Get it? Nevermind..."
Christopher: "Oh, that's very funny."
James: "Oh, here comes another one. Nevermind - it's a dude."
Christopher: "That could be the one too!"
James: "Say what?"
Christopher: "Well, I guess I figured if I wound up going 0 for 114 with women, I should probably keep my options open, so I asked two guys to meet me here too."
James: "Two you say? Here comes another one."
Christopher: "Crap!"
http://www.businessinsider.com/online-dating-message-statistics-2013-7
http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/online-dating-tips-advice/is-online-dating-different-for-men-and-women/
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