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Deep Thoughts with Bobby Bowden

Former Florida State head football coach Bobby Bowden recently came under fire when the 87-year-old was interviewed by Mike Golic. During their discussion, Bowden said this:

"My last years at Florida State, 65 or 70% of my boys did not have a daddy at home. They were raised by mommas, sweet ol' mommas. Thank god for them mommas. Or grandmomma. Many times it was grandmomma, or big sister, or aunt. But where's the man? A boy needs a male figure. And the girls do too. Somebody to discipline them and make them be a man. I used to kid about this, you know, they grow and wanna be like their momma.

A boy needs a male figure. And the girls do too. Somebody to discipline them and make them be a man. I used to kid about this you know, they grow up and they want to be like their mama. That's the way they were raised. That's why they wear earrings."

After Golic provided a nervous laugh and attempted to change the subject, Bowden chimed in by saying, "I'm kidding about that."

Regardless of whether or not Bowden was kidding around, he comes across like an old man who has either become more racially insensitive as he's aged or a man who has less of a chance getting a stand-up gig than a sumo wrestler has of figure skating in a Geico commercial (perhaps both)...

So, pretending for a moment that Bowden was being serious with his comments, I predict he'll make the following claims in the future:

- "I'm anti-vaccine, and do you know why? Because it seems like all these people who get vaccines wind up getting tattoos. The first step to an unhealthy needle habit of tattoos is a healthy needle habit of vaccines."

- "What is it with these nipple rings? You know, when I was drunk one time, this guy at a bar I was at, Rufus I think his name was, told me that his son got bit on the nipple by a pit bull one time and wound up getting his nipple pierced. So, I think America has a real important question to ask itself: Yes or no to pit bulls and nipple rings?"

- "You know how I know global warming isn't real? Burkas."

- "I think that Subway guy, Jared Fogle or whatever, is the reason for all these baggy pants. It's like people are bragging that they lost weight as they walk around with their pants falling down. The problem with this is, well, we know what that sick Fogle got himself into, right? So do we really want to risk these young men becoming pedophiles because they're wearing baggy pants? I don't think so. Subway, eat fresh? No, it's more like, Subway, boxers showing."

- "We need to stop lying to our kids. Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy. We lie to them about pretty much everything in their young lives. One lie we don't hear about very often is that saying about having eyes in the back of your head. What has this led to? An epidemic of putting hats on backwards. Spin those hats around, kids! You don't have eyes in the back of your head, there's no Santa, no Easter Bunny, no Tooth Fairy, but God and the Devil, those things are real!"

http://ftw.usatoday.com/2017/01/bobby-bowden-earrings-mike-and-mike

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