Skip to main content

The Top Ten Ways to Make America Great Again (narrated by Donald Trump)

The Top Ten Ways to Make America Great Again (narrated by Donald Trump)

10. "Go nude horseback riding with my BFF, Vladimir Putin."

9. "To make 'bigly-big league' word of the year."

8. "Retweet white supremacists more times per second than I've cheated on all three of my wives."

7. "To ask all our fathers to give us tiny loans of $40 million or so like I did with mine."

6. "For us all to develop courageous bone spurs like I did during a time of war."

5. "For everyone to have a young and beautiful piece of ass like my daughter Ivanka."

4. "Use all my tax dollars to build yuge beautiful roads and schools, so none."

3. "Build big beautiful fences around our houses and make our neighbors pay for them."

2. "To all place bumper stickers on our cars that say, 'Support Family Values. F*ck Facts.'"

1. "Continue grabbing people by the pussy, starting with myself."
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun...
2 comments
Read more

The difference between "looking" and "checking out"

I may be way off with these numbers, but it's my approximation that at least 75% of individuals whom are involved in a serious relationship feel it's perfectly acceptable to "check out" members of the opposite sex they're not involved with. Meanwhile, approximately 25% either don't feel this is acceptable or aren't sure about the matter. I hadn't thought about this matter for a while, but since I've been dating a woman for about 8 months, the topic has been pondered about some. When reading or hearing others discuss this very issue, I often times hear comments similar to the following: "It's human nature to look." "There's nothing wrong with checking others out. I'm sure he/she does it too!" "It's fine to do it. Just don't tell your boyfriend/girlfriend about it or do it in front of them!" "It's natural to find people attractive." When observing the array of comments, I i...
Post a Comment
Read more