Skip to main content

Hurricane Gunfire

"Good evening. This is Don Rother bringing you some breaking news. We've just received word that there's some kind of shootout in the downtown area tonight. Bringing us this breaking news is our very own Shelly Storm. Shelly, what can you tell us?"

"Thanks, Don. As you can see and hear behind me, it's like a war zone out here. There are bullets flying right past me. I saw a couple of knives being thrown. I believe I even saw a rocket launcher going off a few minutes ago. If you're in the downtown area, I can't tell you enough, do not go outside. Go to the safest area in your home, stock up on your essentials, and pray. Nobody should be out here to witness this, placing their lives at risk in the process. I've seen my life flash before my eyes on at least five occasions tonight. Okay, one of the gunmen is getting closer to me. I'm going to go try and talk to him. Remember kids, do not do this at home. Excuse me, sir? Oh, I've been hit! Don, I've been hit! I..."

"Shelly?!? Shelly?!? I believe we've lost Shelly. Someone try to get her back, would you? I don't know what we'd do without her brave, yet stupidly unnecessary reporting. We'll be right back after these messages."
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun...
2 comments
Read more

Face guarding is legal in college football and the NFL

I just wanted to remind fans and announcers especially, that face guarding is legal in both college football and the NFL. It all comes down to contact. So long as a defender doesn't make contact with an intended receiver, he doesn't have to turn around to play the ball. I can't tell you how many times every week I hear announcers talk about face guarding being a penalty. It's not. I even heard one announcer yesterday state, "If the defender doesn't turn around and play the ball, the ref will call pass interference every time." That's simply not true. Courtesy of referee Bill LeMonnier, he says this with regard to the rule at the college level (answered on 8/12/13): "NCAA rules on pass interference require the face guarding to have contact to be a foul. No contact, no foul by NCAA rules." In the NFL rule book, this is written:  "Actions that constitute defensive pass interference include but are not limited to: (a) Contact by a ...
2 comments
Read more

Mentioned on Crooks and Liars and Hinterland Gazette!

Due to some tweets of mine, I got mentioned on the following two sites (all my tweets can be viewed here -  https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki ): https://crooksandliars.com/2019/04/trump-gives-stupid-advice-george https://hinterlandgazette.com/2019/03/istandwithschiff-is-trending-after-donald-trump-led-gop-attack-on-adam-schiff-backfires-spectacularly.html
Post a Comment
Read more