I had some fun with the trending hashtags #ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump and #TrumpDayCareActivities on Twitter over the past couple of days. Here are my posts, ordered from the most popular to the least popular (all my tweets can be seen here - https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki):
1) A blind taxi driver who just lost everything in a divorce
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
197 Likes, 48 Retweets
2) A drug-addicted Pinocchio suffering from coke withdrawals
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
106 Likes, 20 Retweets
3) Removing black and brown crayons from the crayon box and tossing them in the garbage
#TrumpDayCareActivities
98 Likes, 26 Retweets
4) Marriage counselor Jerry Springer
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
85 Likes, 19 Retweets
5) A horoscope which reads, "The winning lottery number is going to be A, B, C, D, Pi, and 726."
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
68 Likes, 12 Retweets
6) A psychic with the last name of Scammer
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
66 Likes, 12 Retweets
7) Pushing around other kids, and when getting called out for it, blaming Obama
#TrumpDayCareActivities
48 Likes, 12 Retweets
8) A meteorologist giving a forecast while experiencing acid flashbacks
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
45 Likes, 11 Retweets
9) A hooker named Chastity
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
46 Likes, 9 Retweets
10) Setting the world record for tiniest hand turkey
#TrumpDayCareActivities
37 Likes, 11 Retweets
10) A slot machine called Master Thief
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
41 Likes, 7 Retweets
12) The Starbucks spell-checker
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
39 Likes, 8 Retweets
13) Refusing to run around outside due to an allegedly disabling papercut
#TrumpDayCareActivities
32 Likes, 13 Retweets
14) Balls handed to me by Tom Brady
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
30 Likes, 8 Retweets
15) Is told to draw circles, draws squares instead, gets told squares aren't circles, and calls it fake news
#TrumpDayCareActivities
29 Likes, 5 Retweets
16) A full-body condom that's gone through a car-wash 45 times
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
27 Likes, 5 Retweets
17) Clint Eastwood's talking chair
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
27 Likes, 4 Retweets
17) Direct TV during Hurricane Spectrum
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
28 Likes, 3 Retweets
19) Stevie Wonder at a shooting range
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
24 Likes, 6 Retweets
19) That 5th dentist who never approves of anything
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
26 Likes, 4 Retweets
21) Humpty Dumpty on an invisible wall
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
20 Likes, 8 Retweets
22) Roasting marshmallows with a pyromaniac named George Burns
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
21 Likes, 6 Retweets
23) Jack Daniels, when watching 3 am infomercials, with a credit card and phone nearby
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
22 Likes, 4 Retweets
24) Grabbing Barbie dolls by the pus*y
#TrumpDayCareActivities
20 Likes, 5 Retweets
24) Building a big, beautiful wall with invisible blocks
#TrumpDayCareActivities
20 Likes, 5 Retweets
26) A pregnant virgin car salesperson
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
18 Likes, 6 Retweets
26) The Dairy Queen diet plan
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
21 Likes, 3 Retweets
28) A drunken Christopher Columbus trying to find his intended destination
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
15 Likes, 8 Retweets
28) A cable company's arrival-time estimator
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
18 Likes, 5 Retweets
28) A mime singing the National Anthem
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
20 Likes, 3 Retweets
31) Continually shouting "covfefe," before saying, "Making English great again!"
#TrumpDayCareActivities
19 Likes, 1 Retweet
32) The ghost working over at Walmart's electronics
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
16 Likes, 1 Retweet
33) A hungover MapQuest
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
12 Likes, 3 Retweets
34) Listening to books being read while eating a bucket of fried chicken
#TrumpDayCareActivities
14 Likes, 1 Retweet
35) Asking for loans to create LEGO steaks and vodka
#TrumpDayCareActivities
10 Likes, 2 Retweets
36) Fashion advice from Oscar the Grouch
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
11 Likes, 0 Retweets
37) Lawyer Keyser Soze
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
10 Likes, 0 Retweets
38) Bernie Sanders' hair during a windstorm
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
8 Likes, 1 Retweet
39) Michael Bay rom-coms
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
6 Likes, 2 Retweets
40) Motivational speaker Ben Stein
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
2 Likes, 0 Retweets
Totals: 1,202 Likes, 307 Retweets (Averages of 30.1 Likes, 7.7 Retweets)
1) A blind taxi driver who just lost everything in a divorce
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
197 Likes, 48 Retweets
2) A drug-addicted Pinocchio suffering from coke withdrawals
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
106 Likes, 20 Retweets
3) Removing black and brown crayons from the crayon box and tossing them in the garbage
#TrumpDayCareActivities
98 Likes, 26 Retweets
4) Marriage counselor Jerry Springer
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
85 Likes, 19 Retweets
5) A horoscope which reads, "The winning lottery number is going to be A, B, C, D, Pi, and 726."
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
68 Likes, 12 Retweets
6) A psychic with the last name of Scammer
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
66 Likes, 12 Retweets
7) Pushing around other kids, and when getting called out for it, blaming Obama
#TrumpDayCareActivities
48 Likes, 12 Retweets
8) A meteorologist giving a forecast while experiencing acid flashbacks
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
45 Likes, 11 Retweets
9) A hooker named Chastity
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
46 Likes, 9 Retweets
10) Setting the world record for tiniest hand turkey
#TrumpDayCareActivities
37 Likes, 11 Retweets
10) A slot machine called Master Thief
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
41 Likes, 7 Retweets
12) The Starbucks spell-checker
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
39 Likes, 8 Retweets
13) Refusing to run around outside due to an allegedly disabling papercut
#TrumpDayCareActivities
32 Likes, 13 Retweets
14) Balls handed to me by Tom Brady
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
30 Likes, 8 Retweets
15) Is told to draw circles, draws squares instead, gets told squares aren't circles, and calls it fake news
#TrumpDayCareActivities
29 Likes, 5 Retweets
16) A full-body condom that's gone through a car-wash 45 times
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
27 Likes, 5 Retweets
17) Clint Eastwood's talking chair
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
27 Likes, 4 Retweets
17) Direct TV during Hurricane Spectrum
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
28 Likes, 3 Retweets
19) Stevie Wonder at a shooting range
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
24 Likes, 6 Retweets
19) That 5th dentist who never approves of anything
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
26 Likes, 4 Retweets
21) Humpty Dumpty on an invisible wall
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
20 Likes, 8 Retweets
22) Roasting marshmallows with a pyromaniac named George Burns
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
21 Likes, 6 Retweets
23) Jack Daniels, when watching 3 am infomercials, with a credit card and phone nearby
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
22 Likes, 4 Retweets
24) Grabbing Barbie dolls by the pus*y
#TrumpDayCareActivities
20 Likes, 5 Retweets
24) Building a big, beautiful wall with invisible blocks
#TrumpDayCareActivities
20 Likes, 5 Retweets
26) A pregnant virgin car salesperson
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
18 Likes, 6 Retweets
26) The Dairy Queen diet plan
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
21 Likes, 3 Retweets
28) A drunken Christopher Columbus trying to find his intended destination
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
15 Likes, 8 Retweets
28) A cable company's arrival-time estimator
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
18 Likes, 5 Retweets
28) A mime singing the National Anthem
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
20 Likes, 3 Retweets
31) Continually shouting "covfefe," before saying, "Making English great again!"
#TrumpDayCareActivities
19 Likes, 1 Retweet
32) The ghost working over at Walmart's electronics
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
16 Likes, 1 Retweet
33) A hungover MapQuest
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
12 Likes, 3 Retweets
34) Listening to books being read while eating a bucket of fried chicken
#TrumpDayCareActivities
14 Likes, 1 Retweet
35) Asking for loans to create LEGO steaks and vodka
#TrumpDayCareActivities
10 Likes, 2 Retweets
36) Fashion advice from Oscar the Grouch
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
11 Likes, 0 Retweets
37) Lawyer Keyser Soze
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
10 Likes, 0 Retweets
38) Bernie Sanders' hair during a windstorm
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
8 Likes, 1 Retweet
39) Michael Bay rom-coms
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
6 Likes, 2 Retweets
40) Motivational speaker Ben Stein
#ThingsITrustMoreThanTrump
2 Likes, 0 Retweets
Totals: 1,202 Likes, 307 Retweets (Averages of 30.1 Likes, 7.7 Retweets)
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