As I do every couple of weeks or so, I thought I'd share my Twitter trending-hashtag posts. These are from February 18th through today, February 28th. Here they are, ordered from the most popular to the least popular (all my tweets can be viewed at this link - https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki):
1) Rep. Meadows: "I brought a black woman here to dispute your claim that Donald Trump is a racist. I'm not going to let her speak. I'm just going to show her as a prop, because I'm classy like that - and not racist!"
#CohenHearing #Snark
2,316 Likes, 747 Retweets
2) I believe in science, facts, and equality. I believe in building bridges, not walls. I believe a government's purpose is to represent and help the people, not themselves. I believe no one is above the law. #ImTheRadicalLeft.
1,965 Likes, 483 Retweets
3) Jim Jordan: "Elijah Cummings will always be identified by this hearing!"
...and Jim Jordan will always be identified by letting grown men abuse college boys.
#CohenTestimony
574 Likes, 188 Retweets
4) Working backwards chronologically
3) Meadows contends he's not a racist.
2) Meadows attempts to prove that Trump isn't a racist by using a black woman as a prop.
1) Meadows says about Pres. Obama, "We will send him back home to Kenya..."
#CohenTestimony
497 Likes, 239 Retweets
5) Jim Jordan: "We're allowing a man who's lied at least 4 times, 4 times to testify today. That's just wrong! Meanwhile I will nod and smile whenever my hero, the great sexual abuser, fraud, conman - Donald Trump - utters one of his 8,000 alternative facts!"
#CohenTestimony #Snark
370 Likes, 114 Retweets
6) I loved Rep. Meadows' I'm-not-racist defense yesterday, saying, "I have nieces and nephews that are people of color. Not a lot of people know that."
Why? Are you embarrassed by them or something?
#CohenHearing
254 Likes, 49 Retweets
7) CNN: "Trump accused of committing federal crimes"
MSNBC: "Trump accused of committing federal crimes"
Newspapers: "Trump accused of committing federal crimes"
Fox: "NO COLLUSION!!!"
#CohenTestimony #Snark
189 Likes, 68 Retweets
8) I see #PatRobertson is trending. Why? Because nobody thinks about "gay sex" more than he does...
181 Likes, 49 Retweets
Jim Jordan: "We shouldn't be focused on the leader of our country being a racist, a conman, and a cheat. We also shouldn't focus on college boys being abused by their superiors. I'll do time. Pardon me, I yield my time."
#CohenTestimony #Snark
184 Likes, 46 Retweets
9) Rep. Green: "Who paid for you to be here today?!? Was it a top Democrat?!? It was George Soros, wasn't it?!? It was George fricking Soros, wasn't it?!?"
Cohen: "I paid."
Green: "Okay then. :: invisible mic drop ::"
#CohenHearing #Snark
170 Likes, 57 Retweets
10) Rep. Meadows: "Give me one example where Donald Trump showed himself to be a racist! Just one! Just one!"
Cohen: "I have a list here of 9,297 examples of Trump being racist. That's a low estimate. He gets on a roll sometimes & I can't keep up."
#CohenHearing #Snark
158 Likes, 45 Retweets
11) Jim Jordan is like the herpes of Congress. He just never goes away.
#CohenTestimony
170 Likes, 28 Retweets
12) GOP: "We're going to ask you a question now."
Cohen: "Okay, let me start by saying..."
GOP: "Don't answer the question. This is our time, not yours."
#CohenTestimony #Snark
138 Likes, 59 Retweets
13) Do you want to hear the truth?
Dems: "Aye!"
Reps: "F*ck no!"
#CohenTestimony #Snark
157 Likes, 37 Retweets
14) BREAKING NEWS: "The GOP has just released a book, entitled, 'How to Look Bigly Worse Than a Convicted Felon'"
#CohenTestimony #Snark
152 Likes, 41 Retweets
14) Rep. Miller: "This hearing is absurd! We need to focus on important matters, not that our president is a known: Liar, philanderer, sexual abuser, fraud, racist, sexist, and conman! Let's talk about Obama's tan suit instead!"
#CohenTestimony #Snark
152 Likes, 41 Retweets
16) Jim Jordan: "When you lied to your kids that Santa Claus was real, was that done to protect the president? When you destroyed a bunch of ants with a magnifying glass, was that done to protect the president?"
#CohenHearing #Snark
131 Likes, 45 Retweets
17) Rep. Meadows: "I'm not racist! I know black people! One of my best friends is black! Sometimes I wish I was black, but that's only when I'm cooking fried chicken and having watermelons! You see? I'm not racist!"
#CohenHearing #Snark
147 Likes, 24 Retweets
18) Jim Jordan: "You know what I see?!? What I see are hundreds of unicorns! What I see is Jesus bowling! What I see is covfefe! That's what I see!"
#CohenHearing #Snark
136 Likes, 22 Retweets
19) Rep. Amash: "Okay, as a forewarning, I just got dared to be the only GOPer up here to not come across like a big giant as*hole."
#CohenTestimony #Snark
127 Likes, 21 Retweets
20) Rep. Miller: "You'll do anything to sell a few books!"
...and you'll do anything to betray this country.
#CohenTestimony
115 Likes, 27 Retweets
21) GOP: "We trust Trump and everyone he's ever trusted, but we don't trust you, Michael Cohen!"
Trump: "I trusted Michael Cohen for 10 years."
GOP: "Exactly!"
#CohenTestimony #Snark
103 Likes, 27 Retweets
22) Rep. Comer: "What we need to do is call up a more honest, credible witness!"
So Donald Trump is out of the question then...
#CohenHearing
105 Likes, 24 Retweets
23) Yes, #MichaelCohen lied to Congress, but why? Either out of loyalty to Trump or because he was directed to by the "president." So he was either covering for or ordered to commit a crime by Trump. Meanwhile The Donald has told over 8,000 lies since entering office.
90 Likes, 33 Retweets
24) Rep. Comer: "Was it Donald Trump's fault when you overslept for work on February 15th of 1993? Was it Donald Trump's fault when you were hungover the morning of a college algebra exam? Is it Donald Trump's fault you're so ugly? The defense rests, your honor."
#CohenHearing #Snark
80 Likes, 31 Retweets
25) Rep. Roy: "What's this about anyway? Whatever, I don't care. I'm going to spend my 5 minutes or however long it is to do a chant I know 100% of Americans who represent the 30% of real Americans agree with: Build a wall! Build a wall! Build a wall!"
#CohenTestimony #Snark
87 Likes, 22 Retweets
26) Jim Jordan: "While we were on break, I came across this article from something called 'The Onion.' Now listen to this very carefully: the headline reads, 'Michael Cohen Is Joseph Stalin Reincarnated.' Let that sink in for a minute..."
#CohenHearing #Snark
93 Likes, 13 Retweets
27) GOP: "Have you ever made a mistake?"
Cohen: "Yes"
GOP: "He is not a credible witness!"
#CohenTestimony #Snark
80 Likes, 23 Retweets
28) Dear GOP:
Hiring, having a friend or family member that's a POC doesn't mean you're not racist. Racists view such individuals as exceptions, not the rule. Until they stop prejudging the plurality based on skin color, they're racist. Period.
#CohenHearing
83 Likes, 16 Retweets
28) Rep. Higgins: "You know those TurboTax commercials where they say 'free' a lot? That's gonna be me today. Ready? Boxes. Boxes. Boxes. Boxes. Boxes. Boxes. Boxes. Boxes. Boxes. Boxes. The prosecution rests."
#CohenTestimony #Snark
84 Likes, 15 Retweets
28) Jim Jordan: "I'm just going to keep repeating myself, and louder every time, because what I say will become truer and truer and truer due to that. That's science!"
#CohenTestimony #Snark
87 Likes, 12 Retweets
31) Giuliani: "Whoever believes the testimony of liar Cohen is a damn fool!"
So says a "man" who constantly defends a person that's lied 8,000+ times in just over 2 years and once contended that "truth isn't truth."
#CohenTestimony
75 Likes, 22 Retweets
31) Rep. Higgins: "What's in the box?!? What's in the box?!? What's in the f*cking box?!?"
#CohenTestimony #Snark
76 Likes, 21 Retweets
33) Every other news network: "Trump found guilty of: rape, assault, battery, conspiracy, fraud, perjury, robbery, kidnapping, money laundering, and peeing on hookers"
Fox: "Donald Trump isn't a murderer!"
#CohenTestimony #Snark
75 Likes, 19 Retweets
34) Reading up on Al Capone, I can't help but notice all the similarities between him & Trump:
- Ordered others to do his dirty work
- Mentality of a 12-year-old
- Republican
- Came after blacks
- Got away with a lot before being found guilty of financial crimes
#PresidentsDay
72 Likes, 17 Retweets
35) Rep. Gosar: "I'm going to use my time to ask you questions and answer them myself, because that's what good lawyers do! Is it a good idea? Yes. Does it prove guilt when a lawyer answers his own questions about a defendant? Yes."
#CohenTestimony #Snark
69 Likes, 18 Retweets
36) Jordan: "We learned about Rosenstein saying he was thinking about using the 25th Amend to oust the president the people elected!"
Thanks for bringing that up. The question should be, "Why would Mr. Rosenstein utter such a thing about a guy who lost by 3 million?"
#CohenTestimony
63 Likes, 22 Retweets
37) Rep. Hice: "I ask for unanimous consent on this newspaper article I wrote in the bathroom during our most recent recess after consuming nine burritos. The title is, 'Michael Cohen Is Like Really Bad.' Thank you."
#CohenHearing #Snark
71 Likes, 13 Retweets
38) Dear @realDonaldTrump:
Proving the president is a treasonous fraud isn't betraying one's country. As a matter of fact, in this case at least, it's making America great again...
#PresidentsDay #McCabe #Treason
58 Likes, 25 Retweets
39) Headline: "Coast Guard officer accused of plotting to kill Democrats, journalists"
Trump: "There are bad domestic terrorists wanting to kill Democrats and the enemy of the people, the lamestream media, on both sides, both sides."
#CoastGuard #Snark
64 Likes, 17 Retweets
39) GOP: "If a woman stays with her husband for 10 years, then it seems obvious he never abused her. Forget the proof. Didn't happen."
#CohenTestimony #Snark
66 Likes, 15 Retweets
41) Jim Jordan: "Seriously?!? Your lawyer is willing to go without pay for 3 years?"
Cohen: "Yes"
Jordan: "When are you going to give us something to bite on? WTF?!? I yield my time."
#CohenTestimony #Snark
63 Likes, 16 Retweets
42) When Cohen was Trump's fixer by breaking laws, including lying
GOP: "Good guy! Terrific lawyer!"
When Cohen becomes Trump's f*cker-upper by telling the truth and trying to go straight
GOP: "Awful human being! He's always been a turrible lawyer!"
#CohenTestimony #Snark
61 Likes, 17 Retweets
43) Chaffetz: "Michael Cohen says he's a fool. No one can argue with that."
He also said Donald Trump is a racist, con-man, and cheat. No one can argue with that either.
#CohenHearing
67 Likes, 9 Retweets
44) GOP Rep #1: "Did you lie about X?"
Cohen: "Yes"
GOP Rep #2: "So did you lie about X?"
Cohen: "Yes"
GOP Rep #3: "Tell me, did you lie about X?"
Cohen: "Yes"
GOP Rep #4: "He said he's never lied yet is a convicted liar! Pathmosological liar!"
#CohenTestimony #Snark
65 Likes, 10 Retweets
45) Rep. Hice: "How much is Lanny Davis getting paid for all this nonsense? $5 billion? $145 zillion? He set you up with all this, didn't he? He sent you here, didn't he?!?"
Cohen: "No, & as far as I know, he's not getting paid anything."
Hice: "Okie dokie"
#CohenTestimony #Snark
52 Likes, 18 Retweets
45) Huck-Sanders: "It's pathetic felon Michael Cohen is getting a chance to spread lies to Congress!"
...as she continues to spread lies to the world, courtesy of soon-to-be felon Donald Trump.
#CohenTestimony
56 Likes, 14 Retweets
47) GOP: "We found a note written by a former classmate of Michael Cohen's from kindergarten who said he's never told the truth and will never tell the truth. She seems credible. Her name is apparently Cinnamon Nuts."
#CohenHearing #Snark
57 Likes, 11 Retweets
48) Dear @realDonaldTrump:
Proving another to be guilty of treason does not make one treasonous. If a prosecutor proves a defendant guilty of murder, the prosecutor doesn't then get a life-sentence.
#PresidentsDay #McCabe #Treason
46 Likes, 17 Retweets
49) Trump: "I'm not racist. I'm the least racist person you could ever know, believe me. But when a black man speaks, he's being racist. If he says 2 + 2 = 4, that's racist. Period."
#SpikeLee #Oscars #Snark
50 Likes, 11 Retweets
50) Jim Jordan: "Can you believe what's going on here? It seems pretty obvious. FDR came back to life, sprinkled some Tropical Punch Kool-Aid dust on his Democratic colleagues, and here we are. It's gotta be true. I saw it on YouTube."
#CohenTestimony #Snark
52 Likes, 6 Retweets
50) Rep. Green: "Liar! Liar! Liar! Michael Cohen is a liar! So what if Donald Trump told him to lie?!? That's irrelevant! If Donald Trump paid a person to kill another, should he get charged?!? Hell to the no! Not guilty, your honor!"
#CohenHearing #Snark
48 Likes, 10 Retweets
52) Rep. Meadows: "I'm not the racist; you're the racist, Muslim lady!"
#CohenHearing #Snark
47 Likes, 5 Retweets
53) Dear GOP Reps:
Cohen has lied. This is a known fact. You may want to bang on a different drum, though, b/c here's the Politifact scorecard of the man you're defending:
Grades: 655
True: 29 (4%)
False/Mostly False/Pants on Fire: 458 (70%)
https://www.politifact.com/personalities/donald-trump/ …
#CohenTestimony
36 Likes, 15 Retweets
54) Rep. Hice: "You said you've lied but are not a liar. By definition, you are a liar. Everyone is, but your lies count for more than others. You also said someone's facts are incorrect. Facts are correct, especially alternative ones uttered by our president."
#CohenTestimony #Snark
36 Likes, 14 Retweets
54) Rep. Meadows: "Mr. Chairman, I just had a vision of a blow-up doll named Floaty catching Michael Cohen in the act of robbing a 9-11 convenience store. Please accept that as evidence he's not a credible witness."
#CohenHearing #Snark
40 Likes, 10 Retweets
54) Rep. Gibbs: "I'm going to mumble for a while. Ever seen 'Charlie Brown?' That voice is me." - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6p1Ck0ab80 …
#CohenTestimony #Snark
43 Likes, 7 Retweets
57) Meadows: "Let's get this circus started!"
#CohenTestimony #Snark
41 Likes, 7 Retweets
58) Then
Trump: "I hire the best people."
Now
Trump fires said people.
Combined
Trump: "I fire the best people."
#PresidentsDay #Snark
35 Likes, 8 Retweets
58) Rep. Foxx: "Will you commit to never doing or saying anything after leaving our presence here today?"
Cohen: "No"
Foxx: "So this is all about making money then? I rest my case."
#CohenTestimony #Snark
39 Likes, 4 Retweets
60) GOP: "Jesus preaches forgiveness. We're believers in Jesus. We follow his every word. We will never forgive you."
#CohenTestimony #Snark
34 Likes, 8 Retweets
61) Rep. Massie: "Isn't the fact you're a failed lawyer prove Donald Trump has never made a mistake? Isn't that simple logic you'd learn in grade school?"
#CohenTestimony #Snark
34 Likes, 6 Retweets
62) The next time Mark Meadows gets called out for racism
- "I've never told anyone this before, but one time I watched a black guy play basketball on TV. I also asked several of them to shine my shoes. I asked very politely, believe me. I'm so not a racist!"
#CohenHearing #Snark
34 Likes, 4 Retweets
63) Rep. Meadows: "You're a nice guy?!? You're a nice guy?!? You're a stupid motherf*ckin' piece of f*ckin' sh*t who should be electrocuted by that son of a b*tch from 'The Green Mile!' F*ck you and your nice guy bullsh*t! I'm a nice guy, g*ddammit!"
#CohenHearing #Snark
28 Likes, 9 Retweets
64) Jim Jordan: "I'm the biggest Jesus-believer in the world, but I don't believe in Jesus-moments. So you worked for Trump for 10 years? If he was that awful, you wouldn't do that. You couldn't do that. It's impossible. Amen."
#CohenHearing #Snark
26 Likes 8 Retweets
65) Rep. Roy: "I'd like to ask for unanimous consent on a tweet from someone with the username LyinSHolePerson, which says, 'Michael Cohen's real name is O.J. Simpson.' I yield my lies, I mean time."
#CohenHearing #Snark
29 Likes, 3 Retweets
66) Trump: "What's with all these exhibits? Whenever I go to court, my team presents alternative facts. We made it up to 534 one time."
#CohenTestimony #Snark
17 Likes, 5 Retweets
67) Cohen: "I was Donald Trump's personal attorney for 10 years."
Trump: "Yeah, but he was just a coffee-boy attorney. When I raised my right hand in the courtroom, he'd stand up and ask the judge for a coffee-recess. True story."
#CohenHearing #Snark
13 Likes, 3 Retweets
Totals: 11,013 Likes, 3,088 Retweets (Averages of 164.4 Likes, 46.1 Retweets)
1) Rep. Meadows: "I brought a black woman here to dispute your claim that Donald Trump is a racist. I'm not going to let her speak. I'm just going to show her as a prop, because I'm classy like that - and not racist!"
#CohenHearing #Snark
2,316 Likes, 747 Retweets
2) I believe in science, facts, and equality. I believe in building bridges, not walls. I believe a government's purpose is to represent and help the people, not themselves. I believe no one is above the law. #ImTheRadicalLeft.
1,965 Likes, 483 Retweets
3) Jim Jordan: "Elijah Cummings will always be identified by this hearing!"
...and Jim Jordan will always be identified by letting grown men abuse college boys.
#CohenTestimony
574 Likes, 188 Retweets
4) Working backwards chronologically
3) Meadows contends he's not a racist.
2) Meadows attempts to prove that Trump isn't a racist by using a black woman as a prop.
1) Meadows says about Pres. Obama, "We will send him back home to Kenya..."
#CohenTestimony
497 Likes, 239 Retweets
5) Jim Jordan: "We're allowing a man who's lied at least 4 times, 4 times to testify today. That's just wrong! Meanwhile I will nod and smile whenever my hero, the great sexual abuser, fraud, conman - Donald Trump - utters one of his 8,000 alternative facts!"
#CohenTestimony #Snark
370 Likes, 114 Retweets
6) I loved Rep. Meadows' I'm-not-racist defense yesterday, saying, "I have nieces and nephews that are people of color. Not a lot of people know that."
Why? Are you embarrassed by them or something?
#CohenHearing
254 Likes, 49 Retweets
7) CNN: "Trump accused of committing federal crimes"
MSNBC: "Trump accused of committing federal crimes"
Newspapers: "Trump accused of committing federal crimes"
Fox: "NO COLLUSION!!!"
#CohenTestimony #Snark
189 Likes, 68 Retweets
8) I see #PatRobertson is trending. Why? Because nobody thinks about "gay sex" more than he does...
181 Likes, 49 Retweets
Jim Jordan: "We shouldn't be focused on the leader of our country being a racist, a conman, and a cheat. We also shouldn't focus on college boys being abused by their superiors. I'll do time. Pardon me, I yield my time."
#CohenTestimony #Snark
184 Likes, 46 Retweets
9) Rep. Green: "Who paid for you to be here today?!? Was it a top Democrat?!? It was George Soros, wasn't it?!? It was George fricking Soros, wasn't it?!?"
Cohen: "I paid."
Green: "Okay then. :: invisible mic drop ::"
#CohenHearing #Snark
170 Likes, 57 Retweets
10) Rep. Meadows: "Give me one example where Donald Trump showed himself to be a racist! Just one! Just one!"
Cohen: "I have a list here of 9,297 examples of Trump being racist. That's a low estimate. He gets on a roll sometimes & I can't keep up."
#CohenHearing #Snark
158 Likes, 45 Retweets
11) Jim Jordan is like the herpes of Congress. He just never goes away.
#CohenTestimony
170 Likes, 28 Retweets
12) GOP: "We're going to ask you a question now."
Cohen: "Okay, let me start by saying..."
GOP: "Don't answer the question. This is our time, not yours."
#CohenTestimony #Snark
138 Likes, 59 Retweets
13) Do you want to hear the truth?
Dems: "Aye!"
Reps: "F*ck no!"
#CohenTestimony #Snark
157 Likes, 37 Retweets
14) BREAKING NEWS: "The GOP has just released a book, entitled, 'How to Look Bigly Worse Than a Convicted Felon'"
#CohenTestimony #Snark
152 Likes, 41 Retweets
14) Rep. Miller: "This hearing is absurd! We need to focus on important matters, not that our president is a known: Liar, philanderer, sexual abuser, fraud, racist, sexist, and conman! Let's talk about Obama's tan suit instead!"
#CohenTestimony #Snark
152 Likes, 41 Retweets
16) Jim Jordan: "When you lied to your kids that Santa Claus was real, was that done to protect the president? When you destroyed a bunch of ants with a magnifying glass, was that done to protect the president?"
#CohenHearing #Snark
131 Likes, 45 Retweets
17) Rep. Meadows: "I'm not racist! I know black people! One of my best friends is black! Sometimes I wish I was black, but that's only when I'm cooking fried chicken and having watermelons! You see? I'm not racist!"
#CohenHearing #Snark
147 Likes, 24 Retweets
18) Jim Jordan: "You know what I see?!? What I see are hundreds of unicorns! What I see is Jesus bowling! What I see is covfefe! That's what I see!"
#CohenHearing #Snark
136 Likes, 22 Retweets
19) Rep. Amash: "Okay, as a forewarning, I just got dared to be the only GOPer up here to not come across like a big giant as*hole."
#CohenTestimony #Snark
127 Likes, 21 Retweets
20) Rep. Miller: "You'll do anything to sell a few books!"
...and you'll do anything to betray this country.
#CohenTestimony
115 Likes, 27 Retweets
21) GOP: "We trust Trump and everyone he's ever trusted, but we don't trust you, Michael Cohen!"
Trump: "I trusted Michael Cohen for 10 years."
GOP: "Exactly!"
#CohenTestimony #Snark
103 Likes, 27 Retweets
22) Rep. Comer: "What we need to do is call up a more honest, credible witness!"
So Donald Trump is out of the question then...
#CohenHearing
105 Likes, 24 Retweets
23) Yes, #MichaelCohen lied to Congress, but why? Either out of loyalty to Trump or because he was directed to by the "president." So he was either covering for or ordered to commit a crime by Trump. Meanwhile The Donald has told over 8,000 lies since entering office.
90 Likes, 33 Retweets
24) Rep. Comer: "Was it Donald Trump's fault when you overslept for work on February 15th of 1993? Was it Donald Trump's fault when you were hungover the morning of a college algebra exam? Is it Donald Trump's fault you're so ugly? The defense rests, your honor."
#CohenHearing #Snark
80 Likes, 31 Retweets
25) Rep. Roy: "What's this about anyway? Whatever, I don't care. I'm going to spend my 5 minutes or however long it is to do a chant I know 100% of Americans who represent the 30% of real Americans agree with: Build a wall! Build a wall! Build a wall!"
#CohenTestimony #Snark
87 Likes, 22 Retweets
26) Jim Jordan: "While we were on break, I came across this article from something called 'The Onion.' Now listen to this very carefully: the headline reads, 'Michael Cohen Is Joseph Stalin Reincarnated.' Let that sink in for a minute..."
#CohenHearing #Snark
93 Likes, 13 Retweets
27) GOP: "Have you ever made a mistake?"
Cohen: "Yes"
GOP: "He is not a credible witness!"
#CohenTestimony #Snark
80 Likes, 23 Retweets
28) Dear GOP:
Hiring, having a friend or family member that's a POC doesn't mean you're not racist. Racists view such individuals as exceptions, not the rule. Until they stop prejudging the plurality based on skin color, they're racist. Period.
#CohenHearing
83 Likes, 16 Retweets
28) Rep. Higgins: "You know those TurboTax commercials where they say 'free' a lot? That's gonna be me today. Ready? Boxes. Boxes. Boxes. Boxes. Boxes. Boxes. Boxes. Boxes. Boxes. Boxes. The prosecution rests."
#CohenTestimony #Snark
84 Likes, 15 Retweets
28) Jim Jordan: "I'm just going to keep repeating myself, and louder every time, because what I say will become truer and truer and truer due to that. That's science!"
#CohenTestimony #Snark
87 Likes, 12 Retweets
31) Giuliani: "Whoever believes the testimony of liar Cohen is a damn fool!"
So says a "man" who constantly defends a person that's lied 8,000+ times in just over 2 years and once contended that "truth isn't truth."
#CohenTestimony
75 Likes, 22 Retweets
31) Rep. Higgins: "What's in the box?!? What's in the box?!? What's in the f*cking box?!?"
#CohenTestimony #Snark
76 Likes, 21 Retweets
33) Every other news network: "Trump found guilty of: rape, assault, battery, conspiracy, fraud, perjury, robbery, kidnapping, money laundering, and peeing on hookers"
Fox: "Donald Trump isn't a murderer!"
#CohenTestimony #Snark
75 Likes, 19 Retweets
34) Reading up on Al Capone, I can't help but notice all the similarities between him & Trump:
- Ordered others to do his dirty work
- Mentality of a 12-year-old
- Republican
- Came after blacks
- Got away with a lot before being found guilty of financial crimes
#PresidentsDay
72 Likes, 17 Retweets
35) Rep. Gosar: "I'm going to use my time to ask you questions and answer them myself, because that's what good lawyers do! Is it a good idea? Yes. Does it prove guilt when a lawyer answers his own questions about a defendant? Yes."
#CohenTestimony #Snark
69 Likes, 18 Retweets
36) Jordan: "We learned about Rosenstein saying he was thinking about using the 25th Amend to oust the president the people elected!"
Thanks for bringing that up. The question should be, "Why would Mr. Rosenstein utter such a thing about a guy who lost by 3 million?"
#CohenTestimony
63 Likes, 22 Retweets
37) Rep. Hice: "I ask for unanimous consent on this newspaper article I wrote in the bathroom during our most recent recess after consuming nine burritos. The title is, 'Michael Cohen Is Like Really Bad.' Thank you."
#CohenHearing #Snark
71 Likes, 13 Retweets
38) Dear @realDonaldTrump:
Proving the president is a treasonous fraud isn't betraying one's country. As a matter of fact, in this case at least, it's making America great again...
#PresidentsDay #McCabe #Treason
58 Likes, 25 Retweets
39) Headline: "Coast Guard officer accused of plotting to kill Democrats, journalists"
Trump: "There are bad domestic terrorists wanting to kill Democrats and the enemy of the people, the lamestream media, on both sides, both sides."
#CoastGuard #Snark
64 Likes, 17 Retweets
39) GOP: "If a woman stays with her husband for 10 years, then it seems obvious he never abused her. Forget the proof. Didn't happen."
#CohenTestimony #Snark
66 Likes, 15 Retweets
41) Jim Jordan: "Seriously?!? Your lawyer is willing to go without pay for 3 years?"
Cohen: "Yes"
Jordan: "When are you going to give us something to bite on? WTF?!? I yield my time."
#CohenTestimony #Snark
63 Likes, 16 Retweets
42) When Cohen was Trump's fixer by breaking laws, including lying
GOP: "Good guy! Terrific lawyer!"
When Cohen becomes Trump's f*cker-upper by telling the truth and trying to go straight
GOP: "Awful human being! He's always been a turrible lawyer!"
#CohenTestimony #Snark
61 Likes, 17 Retweets
43) Chaffetz: "Michael Cohen says he's a fool. No one can argue with that."
He also said Donald Trump is a racist, con-man, and cheat. No one can argue with that either.
#CohenHearing
67 Likes, 9 Retweets
44) GOP Rep #1: "Did you lie about X?"
Cohen: "Yes"
GOP Rep #2: "So did you lie about X?"
Cohen: "Yes"
GOP Rep #3: "Tell me, did you lie about X?"
Cohen: "Yes"
GOP Rep #4: "He said he's never lied yet is a convicted liar! Pathmosological liar!"
#CohenTestimony #Snark
65 Likes, 10 Retweets
45) Rep. Hice: "How much is Lanny Davis getting paid for all this nonsense? $5 billion? $145 zillion? He set you up with all this, didn't he? He sent you here, didn't he?!?"
Cohen: "No, & as far as I know, he's not getting paid anything."
Hice: "Okie dokie"
#CohenTestimony #Snark
52 Likes, 18 Retweets
45) Huck-Sanders: "It's pathetic felon Michael Cohen is getting a chance to spread lies to Congress!"
...as she continues to spread lies to the world, courtesy of soon-to-be felon Donald Trump.
#CohenTestimony
56 Likes, 14 Retweets
47) GOP: "We found a note written by a former classmate of Michael Cohen's from kindergarten who said he's never told the truth and will never tell the truth. She seems credible. Her name is apparently Cinnamon Nuts."
#CohenHearing #Snark
57 Likes, 11 Retweets
48) Dear @realDonaldTrump:
Proving another to be guilty of treason does not make one treasonous. If a prosecutor proves a defendant guilty of murder, the prosecutor doesn't then get a life-sentence.
#PresidentsDay #McCabe #Treason
46 Likes, 17 Retweets
49) Trump: "I'm not racist. I'm the least racist person you could ever know, believe me. But when a black man speaks, he's being racist. If he says 2 + 2 = 4, that's racist. Period."
#SpikeLee #Oscars #Snark
50 Likes, 11 Retweets
50) Jim Jordan: "Can you believe what's going on here? It seems pretty obvious. FDR came back to life, sprinkled some Tropical Punch Kool-Aid dust on his Democratic colleagues, and here we are. It's gotta be true. I saw it on YouTube."
#CohenTestimony #Snark
52 Likes, 6 Retweets
50) Rep. Green: "Liar! Liar! Liar! Michael Cohen is a liar! So what if Donald Trump told him to lie?!? That's irrelevant! If Donald Trump paid a person to kill another, should he get charged?!? Hell to the no! Not guilty, your honor!"
#CohenHearing #Snark
48 Likes, 10 Retweets
52) Rep. Meadows: "I'm not the racist; you're the racist, Muslim lady!"
#CohenHearing #Snark
47 Likes, 5 Retweets
53) Dear GOP Reps:
Cohen has lied. This is a known fact. You may want to bang on a different drum, though, b/c here's the Politifact scorecard of the man you're defending:
Grades: 655
True: 29 (4%)
False/Mostly False/Pants on Fire: 458 (70%)
https://www.politifact.com/personalities/donald-trump/ …
#CohenTestimony
36 Likes, 15 Retweets
54) Rep. Hice: "You said you've lied but are not a liar. By definition, you are a liar. Everyone is, but your lies count for more than others. You also said someone's facts are incorrect. Facts are correct, especially alternative ones uttered by our president."
#CohenTestimony #Snark
36 Likes, 14 Retweets
54) Rep. Meadows: "Mr. Chairman, I just had a vision of a blow-up doll named Floaty catching Michael Cohen in the act of robbing a 9-11 convenience store. Please accept that as evidence he's not a credible witness."
#CohenHearing #Snark
40 Likes, 10 Retweets
54) Rep. Gibbs: "I'm going to mumble for a while. Ever seen 'Charlie Brown?' That voice is me." - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6p1Ck0ab80 …
#CohenTestimony #Snark
43 Likes, 7 Retweets
57) Meadows: "Let's get this circus started!"
#CohenTestimony #Snark
41 Likes, 7 Retweets
58) Then
Trump: "I hire the best people."
Now
Trump fires said people.
Combined
Trump: "I fire the best people."
#PresidentsDay #Snark
35 Likes, 8 Retweets
58) Rep. Foxx: "Will you commit to never doing or saying anything after leaving our presence here today?"
Cohen: "No"
Foxx: "So this is all about making money then? I rest my case."
#CohenTestimony #Snark
39 Likes, 4 Retweets
60) GOP: "Jesus preaches forgiveness. We're believers in Jesus. We follow his every word. We will never forgive you."
#CohenTestimony #Snark
34 Likes, 8 Retweets
61) Rep. Massie: "Isn't the fact you're a failed lawyer prove Donald Trump has never made a mistake? Isn't that simple logic you'd learn in grade school?"
#CohenTestimony #Snark
34 Likes, 6 Retweets
62) The next time Mark Meadows gets called out for racism
- "I've never told anyone this before, but one time I watched a black guy play basketball on TV. I also asked several of them to shine my shoes. I asked very politely, believe me. I'm so not a racist!"
#CohenHearing #Snark
34 Likes, 4 Retweets
63) Rep. Meadows: "You're a nice guy?!? You're a nice guy?!? You're a stupid motherf*ckin' piece of f*ckin' sh*t who should be electrocuted by that son of a b*tch from 'The Green Mile!' F*ck you and your nice guy bullsh*t! I'm a nice guy, g*ddammit!"
#CohenHearing #Snark
28 Likes, 9 Retweets
64) Jim Jordan: "I'm the biggest Jesus-believer in the world, but I don't believe in Jesus-moments. So you worked for Trump for 10 years? If he was that awful, you wouldn't do that. You couldn't do that. It's impossible. Amen."
#CohenHearing #Snark
26 Likes 8 Retweets
65) Rep. Roy: "I'd like to ask for unanimous consent on a tweet from someone with the username LyinSHolePerson, which says, 'Michael Cohen's real name is O.J. Simpson.' I yield my lies, I mean time."
#CohenHearing #Snark
29 Likes, 3 Retweets
66) Trump: "What's with all these exhibits? Whenever I go to court, my team presents alternative facts. We made it up to 534 one time."
#CohenTestimony #Snark
17 Likes, 5 Retweets
67) Cohen: "I was Donald Trump's personal attorney for 10 years."
Trump: "Yeah, but he was just a coffee-boy attorney. When I raised my right hand in the courtroom, he'd stand up and ask the judge for a coffee-recess. True story."
#CohenHearing #Snark
13 Likes, 3 Retweets
Totals: 11,013 Likes, 3,088 Retweets (Averages of 164.4 Likes, 46.1 Retweets)
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