How can you save your marriage? By being more honest? Working harder? Seeing a counselor? Listening better? Not according to social scientist, Catherine Hakim. In her new book, entitled, "The New Rules: Internet Dating, Playfairs and Erotic Power," Hakim lays claim that a marriage can be saved by having an affair. That's right, husbands and wives, go out and cheat on your spouse! Woo-hoo! As Rodney Dangerfield said in Caddyshack, "Everyone's gonna get laid!"
Hakim writes the following in her book, comparing sex to dining:
"The fact that we eat most meals at home with spouses and partners does not preclude eating out in restaurants to sample different cuisines and ambiences, with friends or colleagues. Anyone rejecting a fresh approach to marriage and adultery, with a new set of rules to go with it, fails to recognize the benefits of a revitalised sex life outside the home."
She also stated that the first rule of having an affair is to "...never [have one] in your own backyard where you are most exposed to discovery."
Catherine Hakim has discovered the key ingredient to a long-lasting and healthy marriage - Continually lie to your spouse about where you've been all those late nights and cheat on him/her, but never where your spouse will find you! She's cracked the code! Goodbye high divorce rates! Hello more unwanted pregnancies, abortions and sexually-transmitted diseases!
I have a problem with Hakim's suggestion. First off, really? We're going to compare sex outside of marriage to eating food outside one's home? No, there's no difference at all there. In The Bible, two of the now eleven commandments read as follows:
Thou shalt not commit adultery.
and
Thou shalt not eat food outside of your home.
Yeah, I often times hear arguments like the following:
Wife: "Where are you going?"
Husband: "Buffalo Wild Wings. It's Monday. The football game is on. I'm going with the guys as usual."
Wife: "Oh, no you're not! You've been cheating on me far too long! I can't take this anymore!"
Husband: "I'm not cheating. Hey, the guys are here to pick me up. Would you like them all to come in so I can show you I'm not cheating? It's Tommy, D.J., Chuck and Busta."
Wife: "That's not it! You're eating outside of this home! That's cheating! I can't believe you're going to eat someone else's food! I'm sorry honey, but I'm going to file for divorce."
Yeah, like I said, it's the same thing...
Secondly, I think it's asinine for Ms. Hakim to think and suggest that it could benefit a couple if a person in the relationship not only cheated on them, but lied to them about it. It'd be one thing if the couple wasn't satisfied in the bedroom and decided while they didn't want to divorce (perhaps due to the kids), they wanted to engage in a relationship outside of the marriage purely for sexual purposes (and they vowed to be safe and responsible by using protection and making sure it's with someone they trusted). While I would never agree to this kind of arrangement, it may work for others, so who am I to judge? However, it's quite another thing for one person in the relationship to be disloyal to his/her partner, continually lie about it and think it would make for a better marriage. One person is going behind the other's back, lying to them about where they're at/who they're with and cheating on them in the process and I'm supposed to believe it will make for a better marriage in the end? Hakim's advice was not to get caught. That right there says it all to me. Lets pretend for a moment that the marriage does seem a bit "happier" after one engages in an affair. This would just be an illusion, for the perpetrator of the adultery would be painting an inaccurate picture to his/her spouse and would result in an inaccurate portrayal of said "happiness". If/When the partner found out about the lies and affair(s), does this author truly believe all would be well in the marriage? Not only did their partner cheat, but lied to them about it. Yeah, that sounds like a recipe for success and happiness right there! I imagine a conversation like this would ensue:
Husband: "Alright, so you finally caught me."
Wife: "FINALLY caught you? How long have you been sleeping with my sister?"
Husband: "About 6 months."
Wife: "6 months? Is there anyone else? Have you been using protection? Have you been tested?"
Husband: "There's just a few others and no to the other two questions."
Wife: "Oh my God!"
Husband: "What?"
Wife: "Thank you. I'm so happy! I love you so much! Why are you so good to me?"
Yeah, like that would ever happen...
Catherine Hakim, as Donald Trump would say, "You're fired..."
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/20/having-an-affair_n_1812380.html
Hakim writes the following in her book, comparing sex to dining:
"The fact that we eat most meals at home with spouses and partners does not preclude eating out in restaurants to sample different cuisines and ambiences, with friends or colleagues. Anyone rejecting a fresh approach to marriage and adultery, with a new set of rules to go with it, fails to recognize the benefits of a revitalised sex life outside the home."
She also stated that the first rule of having an affair is to "...never [have one] in your own backyard where you are most exposed to discovery."
Catherine Hakim has discovered the key ingredient to a long-lasting and healthy marriage - Continually lie to your spouse about where you've been all those late nights and cheat on him/her, but never where your spouse will find you! She's cracked the code! Goodbye high divorce rates! Hello more unwanted pregnancies, abortions and sexually-transmitted diseases!
I have a problem with Hakim's suggestion. First off, really? We're going to compare sex outside of marriage to eating food outside one's home? No, there's no difference at all there. In The Bible, two of the now eleven commandments read as follows:
Thou shalt not commit adultery.
and
Thou shalt not eat food outside of your home.
Yeah, I often times hear arguments like the following:
Wife: "Where are you going?"
Husband: "Buffalo Wild Wings. It's Monday. The football game is on. I'm going with the guys as usual."
Wife: "Oh, no you're not! You've been cheating on me far too long! I can't take this anymore!"
Husband: "I'm not cheating. Hey, the guys are here to pick me up. Would you like them all to come in so I can show you I'm not cheating? It's Tommy, D.J., Chuck and Busta."
Wife: "That's not it! You're eating outside of this home! That's cheating! I can't believe you're going to eat someone else's food! I'm sorry honey, but I'm going to file for divorce."
Yeah, like I said, it's the same thing...
Secondly, I think it's asinine for Ms. Hakim to think and suggest that it could benefit a couple if a person in the relationship not only cheated on them, but lied to them about it. It'd be one thing if the couple wasn't satisfied in the bedroom and decided while they didn't want to divorce (perhaps due to the kids), they wanted to engage in a relationship outside of the marriage purely for sexual purposes (and they vowed to be safe and responsible by using protection and making sure it's with someone they trusted). While I would never agree to this kind of arrangement, it may work for others, so who am I to judge? However, it's quite another thing for one person in the relationship to be disloyal to his/her partner, continually lie about it and think it would make for a better marriage. One person is going behind the other's back, lying to them about where they're at/who they're with and cheating on them in the process and I'm supposed to believe it will make for a better marriage in the end? Hakim's advice was not to get caught. That right there says it all to me. Lets pretend for a moment that the marriage does seem a bit "happier" after one engages in an affair. This would just be an illusion, for the perpetrator of the adultery would be painting an inaccurate picture to his/her spouse and would result in an inaccurate portrayal of said "happiness". If/When the partner found out about the lies and affair(s), does this author truly believe all would be well in the marriage? Not only did their partner cheat, but lied to them about it. Yeah, that sounds like a recipe for success and happiness right there! I imagine a conversation like this would ensue:
Husband: "Alright, so you finally caught me."
Wife: "FINALLY caught you? How long have you been sleeping with my sister?"
Husband: "About 6 months."
Wife: "6 months? Is there anyone else? Have you been using protection? Have you been tested?"
Husband: "There's just a few others and no to the other two questions."
Wife: "Oh my God!"
Husband: "What?"
Wife: "Thank you. I'm so happy! I love you so much! Why are you so good to me?"
Yeah, like that would ever happen...
Catherine Hakim, as Donald Trump would say, "You're fired..."
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/20/having-an-affair_n_1812380.html
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